Opus · 普劳图斯

安菲特律翁

Amphitruo / Amphitryon

AMPHITRUO

AMPHITRYON


   *       *       *       *       *

ARGVMENTVM I[1]

ARGUMENT OF THE PLAY (I)

[Footnote 1: None of the Arguments prefixed to the plays is by Plautus.
Their date is disputed, the acrostics having been written during the
first century B.C., perhaps, the non acrostics later.]

In faciem versus Amphitruonis Iuppiter,
dum bellum gereret cum Telobois hostibus,
Alcmenam uxorem cepit usurariam.
Mercurius formam Sosiae servi gerit
absentis: his Alcmena decipitur dolis.
postquam rediere veri Amphitruo et Sosia,
uterque deluduntur in mirum modum.
hinc iurgium, tumultus uxori et viro,
donec cum tonitru voce missa ex aethere
adulterum se Iuppiter confessus est. 10

  While Amphitryon was engaged in a war with his foes, the
  Teloboians, Jupiter assumed his appearance and took the loan
  of his wife, Alcmena. Mercury takes the form of an absent
  slave, Sosia, and Alcmena is deceived by the two impostors.
  After the real Amphitryon and Sosia return they both are
  deluded in extraordinary fashion. This leads to an
  altercation and quarrel between wife and husband, until
  there comes from the heavens, with a peal of thunder,
  the voice of Jupiter, who owns that he has been the
  guilty lover.

ARGVMENTVM II

ARGUMENT OF THE PLAY (II)

Amore captus Alcumenas Iuppiter
Mutavit sese in formam eius coniugis,
Pro patria Amphitruo dum decernit cum hostibus.
Habitu Mercurius ei subservit Sosiae.
Is advenientis servum ac dominum frustra habet.
Turbas uxori ciet Amphitruo, atque invicem
Raptant pro moechis. Blepharo captus arbiter
Vter sit non quit Amphitruo decernere.
Omnem rem noscunt. geminos Alcumena enititur.[2]

  Jupiter, being seized with love for Alcmena, changed his
  form to that of her husband, Amphitryon, while he was doing
  battle with his enemies in defence of his country. Mercury,
  in the guise of Sosia, seconds his father and dupes both
  servant and master on their return. Amphitryon storms at his
  wife: charges of adultery, too, are bandied back and forth
  between him and Jupiter. Blepharo is appointed arbiter, but
  is unable to decide which is the real Amphitryon. They
  learn the whole truth at last, and Alcmena gives birth
  to twin sons.

PERSONAE

DRAMATIS PERSONAE

MERCVRIVS DEUS
SOSIA SERVUS
IVPPITER DEUS
ALCVMENA MATRONA
AMPHITRVO DUX
BLEPHARO GUBERNATOR
BROMIA ANCILLA

  MERCURY, _a god._
  SOSIA, _slave of Amphitryon._
  JUPITER, _a god._
  ALCMENA, _wife of Amphitryon._
  AMPHITRYON, _commander-in-chief of the Theban army._
  BLEPHARO, _a pilot._
  BROMIA, _maid to Alcmena._

Scaena Thebis.

_Scene:--Thebes. A street before Amphitryon’s house._

PROLOGVS[3]

PROLOGUE

[Footnote 3: The genuineness of the Prologues of these plays has
long been a moot question. The tendency of the more recent
investigators has been to hold that all were, at least in part,
written by Plautus himself.]

MERCVRIVS DEVS

SPOKEN BY THE GOD MERCURY

Ut vos in vostris voltis mercimoniis
emundis vendundisque me laetum lucris
adficere atque adiuvare in rebus omnibus
et ut res rationesque vostrorum omnium
bene me expedire voltis peregrique et domi
bonoque atque amplo auctare perpetuo lucro
quasque incepistis res quasque inceptabitis,

  According as ye here assembled would have me prosper you
  and bring you luck in your buyings and in your sellings of
  goods, yea, and forward you in all things; and according
  as ye all would have me find your business affairs and
  speculations happy outcome in foreign lands and here at
  home, and crown your present and future undertakings with
  fine, fat profits for evermore;

et uti bonis vos vostrosque omnis nuntiis
me adficere voltis, ea adferam, ea uti nuntiem
quae maxime in rem vostram communem sient-- 10
nam vos quidem id iam scitis concessum et datum
mi esse ab dis aliis, nuntiis praesim et lucro--:
haec ut me voltis adprobare adnitier,[4] (13)
ita huic facietis fabulae silentium (15)
itaque aequi et iusti his eritis omnes arbitri.

  and according as ye would have me bring you and all yours
  glad news, reporting and announcing matters which most
  contribute to your common good (for ye doubtless are aware
  ere now that ’tis to me the other gods have yielded and
  granted plenipotence o’er messages and profits); according
  as ye would have me bless you in these things, then in such
  degree will ye (_suddenly dropping his pomposity_) keep
  still while we are acting this play and all be fair and
  square judges of the performance.

Nunc cuius iussu venio et quam ob rem venerim
dicam simulque ipse eloquar nomen meum.
Iovis iussu venio, nomen Mercurio est mihi.
pater huc me misit ad vos oratum meus, 20
tam etsi, pro imperio vobis quod dictum foret,
scibat facturos, quippe qui intellexerat
vereri vos se et metuere, ita ut aequom est Iovem;

  Now I will tell you who bade me come, and why I came, and
  likewise myself state my own name. Jupiter bade me come: my
  name is Mercury (_pauses, evidently hoping he has made an
  impression_). My father has sent me here to you to make a
  plea, yea, albeit he knew that whatever was told you in way
  of command you would do, inasmuch as he realized that you
  revere and dread him as men should Jupiter.

verum profecto hoc petere me precario
a vobis iussit, leniter, dictis bonis.
etenim ille, cuius huc iussu venio, Iuppiter
non minus quam vostrum quivis formidat malum:
humana matre natus, humano patre,
mirari non est aequom, sibi si praetimet;

  But the fact remains that he has bidden me make this
  request in suppliant wise, with gentle, kindly words.
  (_confidentially_) For you see, that Jupiter that “bade me
  come here” is just like any one of you in his horror of
  (_rubbing his shoulders reflectively_) trouble[A]: his
  mother being human, also his father, it should not seem
  strange if he does feel apprehensive regarding himself.

    [Footnote A: Actors might be whipped on occasion.]

atque ego quoque etiam, qui Iovis sum filius, 30
contagione mei patris metuo malum.
propterea pace advenio et pacem ad vos affero[5]:
iustam rem et facilem esse oratam a vobis volo,
nam iusta ab iustis iustus sum orator datus.

  Yes, and the same is true of me, the son of Jupiter: once my
  father has some trouble I am afraid I shall catch it, too.
  (_rather pompously again_) Wherefore I come in peace and
  peace do I bring to you. It is a just and trifling request I
  wish you to grant: for I am sent as a just pleader pleading
  with the just for what is just.

nam iniusta ab iustis impetrari non decet,
iusta autem ab iniustis petere insipientia est;
quippe illi iniqui ius ignorant neque tenent.
nunc iam huc animum omnes quae loquar advortite.
debetis velle quae velimus: meruimus
et ego et pater de vobis et re publica; 40

  It would be unfitting, of course, for unjust favours to be
  obtained from the just, while looking for just treatment
  from the unjust is folly; for unfair folk of that sort
  neither know nor keep justice. Now then, pay attention all
  of you to what I am about to say. Our wishes should be
  yours: we deserve it of you, my father and I, of you and
  of your state.

nam quid ego memorem,--ut alios in tragoediis
vidi, Neptunum Virtutem Victoriam
Martem Bellonam, commemorare quae bona
vobis fecissent,--quis bene factis meus pater,
deorum regnator[6] architectust[7] omnibus?

  Ah well, why should I--after the fashion of other gods,
  Neptune, Virtue, Victory, Mars, Bellona, whom I have seen
  in the tragedies recounting their goodness to you--
  rehearse the benefits that my father, ruler of the gods,
  hath builded up for all men?

sed mos numquam illi fuit patri meo,[8]
ut exprobraret quod bonis faceret boni;
gratum arbitratur esse id a vobis sibi
meritoque vobis bona se facere quae facit.

  It never was a habit of that sire of mine to twit good
  people with the good he did them; he considers you
  grateful to him for it and worthy of the good things he
  does for you.

Nunc quam rem oratum huc veni primum proloquar, 50
post argumentum huius eloquar tragoediae.
quid? contraxistis frontem, quia tragoediam
dixi futuram hanc? deus sum, commutavero.

  Now first as to the favour I have come to ask, and then you
  shall hear the argument of our tragedy. What? Frowning
  because I said this was to be a tragedy? I am a god: I’ll
  transform it.

eandem hanc, si voltis, faciam ex tragoedia
comoedia ut sit omnibus isdem vorsibus.
utrum sit an non voltis? sed ego stultior,
quasi nesciam vos velle, qui divos siem.

  I’ll convert this same play from tragedy to comedy, if
  you like, and never change a line. Do you wish me to do
  it, or not? But there! how stupid of me! As if I didn’t
  know that you do wish it, when I’m a deity.

teneo quid animi vostri super hac re siet:
faciam ut commixta sit: sit tragicomoedia.
nam me perpetuo facere ut sit comoedia, 60
reges quo veniant et di, non par arbitror.
quid igitur? quoniam his servos quoque partes habet,
faciam sit, proinde ut dixi, tragicomoedia.

  I understand your feelings in the matter perfectly. I shall
  mix things up: let it be tragi-comedy. Of course it would
  never do for me to make it comedy out and out, with kings
  and gods on the boards. How about it, then? Well, in view of
  the fact that there is a slave part in it, I shall do just
  as I said and make it tragi-comedy.

nunc hoc me orare a vobis iussit Iuppiter,
ut conquaestores singula in subsellia
eant per totam caveam spectatoribus,
si cui favitores delegates viderint,
ut is in cavea pignus capiantur togae;

  Now here is the favour Jove bade me ask of you: (_with
  great solemnity_) let inspectors go from seat to seat
  throughout the house, and should they discover claqueurs
  planted for the benefit of any party, let them take as
  security from all such in the house--their togas.

sive qui ambissint palmam histrionibus,
sive cuiquam artifici, si per scriptas litteras 70
sive qui ipse ambissit seu per internuntium,
sive adeo aediles perfidiose cui duint,
sirempse legem iussit esse Iuppiter,
quasi magistratum sibi alterive ambiverit.

  Or if there be those who have solicited the palm for
  actors, or for any artist--whether by letter, or by personal
  solicitation, or through an intermediary--or further, if the
  aediles do bestow the said palm upon anyone unfairly, Jove
  doth decree that the selfsame law obtain as should the said
  party solicit guiltily, for himself or for another, public
  office.

virtute dixit vos victores vivere,
non ambitione neque perfidia: qui minus
eadem histrioni sit lex quae summo viro?
virtute ambire oportet, non favitoribus.
sat habet favitorum semper qui recte facit,
si illis fides est quibus est ea res in manu. 80

  ’Tis worth has won your wars for you, saith he, not
  solicitation or unfairness: why should not the same law hold
  for player as for noblest patriot? Worth, not hired support,
  should solicit victory. He who plays his part aright ever
  has support enough, if it so be that honour dwells in those
  whose concern it is to judge his acts.

hoc quoque etiam mihi pater in mandatis dedit,
ut conquaestores fierent histrionibus:
qui sibi mandasset delegati ut plauderent
quive quo placeret alter fecisset minus,
eius ornamenta et corium uti conciderent.

  This injunction, too, did Jove lay upon me: that
  inspectors should be appointed for the actors, to the end
  that whosoever has enjoined claqueurs to clap himself, or
  whosoever has endeavoured to compass the failure of another,
  may have his player’s costume cut to shreds, also his hide.

mirari nolim vos, quapropter Iuppiter
nunc histriones curet; ne miremini:
ipse hanc acturust Iuppiter comoediam.
quid? admirati estis? quasi vero novom
nunc proferatur, Iovem facere histrioniam; 90

  I would not have you wonder why Jove is now regardful
  of actors; do not so: he himself, Jove, will take part in
  this comedy. What? Surprised? As if it were actually a new
  departure, this, Jove’s turning actor!

etiam, histriones anno cum in proscaemo hic
Iovem invocarunt, venit, auxilio is fuit[9] (92)
hanc fabulam, inquam, hic Iuppiter hodie ipse aget, (94)
et ego una cum illo. nunc vos animum advortite,
dum huius argumentum eloquar comoediae.

  Why, just last year when the actors on this very stage
  called upon Jupiter, he came,[B] and helped them out.
  This play, then, Jove himself will act in to-day, and I
  along with him. Now give me your attention while I unfold
  the argument of our comedy.

    [Footnote B: An allusion to some play in which Jupiter
    appeared in time to save some situation.]

Haec urbs est Thebae. in illisce habitat aedibus
Amphitruo, natus Argis ex Argo patre,
quicum Alcumena est nupta, Electri filia.
is nunc Amphitruo praefectust legionibus, 100
nam cum Telobois bellum est Thebano poplo.

  This city here is Thebes. In that house there (_pointing_)
  dwells Amphitryon, born in Argos, of an Argive father: and
  his wife is Alcmena, Electrus’s daughter. At present this
  Amphitryon is at the head of the Theban army, the Thebans
  being at war with the Teloboians.

is prius quam hinc abut ipsemet in exercitum,
gravidam Alcumenam uxorem fecit suam.
nam ego vos novisse credo iam ut sit pater meus,
quam liber harum rerum multarum siet
quantusque amator sit quod complacitum est semel.

  Before he himself left to join his troops, his wife,
  Alcmena, was with child by him. (_apologetically_) Now I
  think you know already what my father is like--how free he
  is apt to be in a good many cases of this sort and what an
  impetuous lover he is, once his fancy is taken.

is amare occepit Alcumenam clam virum
usuramque eius corporis cepit sibi,
et gravidam fecit is eam compressu suo.
nunc de Alcumena ut rem teneatis rectius, 110
utrimque est gravida, et ex viro et ex summo Iove.

  Well, Alcmena caught his fancy, without her husband knowing
  it, and he enjoyed her and got her with child. So now
  Alcmena, that you may see it quite clearly, is with child
  by both of them, by her husband and by almighty Jove.

et meus pater nunc intus hic cum illa cubat,
et haec ob eam rem nox est facta longior,
dum cum illa quacum volt voluptatem capit;
sed ita adsimulavit se, quasi Amphitruo siet.

  And my father is there inside this very moment with her in
  his arms, and it is on this account that the present night
  has been prolonged while he enjoys the society of his
  heart’s delight. All this in the guise of Amphitryon, you
  understand.

Nunc ne hunc ornatum vos meum admiremini,
quod ego huc processi sic cum servili schema:
veterem atque antiquam rem novam ad vos proferam,
propterea ornatus in novom incessi modum.

  Now don’t be surprised at this get-up of mine and because I
  appear here in the character of a slave as I do: I am going
  to submit to you a new version of a worn and ancient tale,
  hence my appearance in a new get-up.

nam meus pater intus nunc est eccum Iuppiter; 120
in Amphitruonis vertit sese imaginem
omnesque eum esse censent servi qui vident:
ita versipellem se facit quando lubet.

  The point is, my father Jupiter is now inside there, mark
  you. He has turned himself into the very image of Amphitryon,
  and all the servants that see him believe that’s who he is.
  See how he can change his skin when he likes!

ego servi sumpsi Sosiae mi imaginem,
qui cum Amphitruone abiit hinc in exercitum,
ut praeservire amanti meo possem patri
atque ut ne, qui essem, familiares quaererent,
versari crebro hic cum viderent me domi;
nunc, cum esse credent servom et conservom suom,
haud quisquam quaeret qui siem aut quid venerim. 130

  And as for me, I have assumed the form of Amphitryon’s slave
  Sosia, who went away to the army with him, my idea being to
  subserve my amorous sire and not have the domestics ask who
  I am when they see me busy about the house here continually.
  As it is, when they think I am a servant and one of their
  own number, not a soul will ask me who I am or what I’ve
  come for.

Pater nunc intus suo animo morem gerit:
cubat complexus cuius cupiens maxime est;
quae illi ad legionem facta sunt memorat pater
meus Alcumenae: illa illum censet virum
suom esse, quae cum moecho est. ibi nunc meus pater
memorat, legiones hostium ut fugaverit,
quo pacto sit donis donatus plurimis.

  So now my father is inside indulging his heart’s desire as
  he lies there with his arms around the lady-love he
  particularly dotes on. He is telling Alcmena what happened
  during the campaign: and she all the time thinking him her
  husband when he’s not. On he goes there with his stories of
  putting the legions of the foe to flight and being presented
  with prizes galore.

ea dona, quae illic Amphitruoni sunt data,
abstulimus: facile meus pater quod volt facit.
nunc hodie Amphitruo veniet huc ab exercitu 140
et servos, cuius ego hanc fero imaginem.

  The prizes Amphitryon did receive there we stole--things
  my father fancies do come easy to him! Now Amphitryon
  will return from the army to-day, and the slave I am
  representing, too.

nunc internosse ut nos possitis facilius,
ego has habebo usque in petaso pinnulas;
tum meo patri autem torulus inerit aureus
sub petaso: id signum Amphitruoni non erit.
ea signa nemo horum familiarium
videre poterit: verum vos videbitis.

  To make it easier for you to tell us apart I shall always
  wear this little plume on my hat: yes, and as for my father
  he will have a little gold tassel hanging from his:
  Amphitryon will not have this mark. They are marks that
  none of the household here will be able to see, but you
  will.

sed Amphitruonis illic est servos Sosia:
a portu illic nunc cum lanterna advenit.
abigam iam ego illum advenientem ab aedibus. 150
adeste: erit operae pretium hic spectantibus
Iovem et Mercurium facere histrioniam.

  (_looking down street_) But there is Amphitryon’s servant
  Sosia--just coming from the harbour with a lantern. I’ll
  bustle him away from the house as soon as he gets here.
  Watch now! It will be worth your while to attend when Jove
  and Mercury take up the histrionic art. (_steps aside_)

ACTVS I

ACT I


(_Time, night._)

Sos.

Qui me alter est audacior homo aut qui confidentior,
iuventutis mores qui sciam, qui hoc noctis solus ambulem?
quid faciam nunc, si tres viri me in carcerem compegerint?
inde cras quasi e promptaria cella depromar ad flagrum,
nec causam liceat dicere mihi, neque in ero quicquam auxili
nec quisquam sit quin me malo omnes esse dignum deputent.

  ENTER _Sosia_, LANTERN IN HAND.

  (_stopping and peering around timorously_) Who’s a bolder
  man, a more audacious man than I am--know all about the
  young bloods and their capers, I do, yet here I am strolling
  around all alone at this time of night! (_seems to hear
  something and jumps_) What if the police should lock me up
  in jail? To-morrow I should be taken out of that preserve
  closet and get served--to a rope’s end; and not a word would
  they let me say for myself,[C] and not a bit of help could I
  get from master, and there wouldn’t be a soul but what would
  reckon I deserved a hiding.

    [Footnote C: Being a slave]

ita quasi incudem me miserum homines octo validi caedant: 159-160
ita peregre adveniens hospitio publicitus accipiar. 161-162
haec eri immodestia
coegit, me qui hoc noctis a portu ingratiis excitavit.
nonne idem hoc luci me mittere potuit?

  Those eight strong wardens would pound my poor
  carcass just as if I was an anvil: that is how I should be
  entertained on coming home from abroad--a public reception.
  (_disgustedly_) It’s master’s impatience forced me into
  this, routing me out from the harbour at this time of night,
  against my will. Might have sent me on the same errand by
  daylight, mightn’t he?

opulento homini hoc servitus dura est,
hoc magis miser est divitis servos
noctesque diesque assiduo satis superque est,
quod facto aut dicto adeost opus, quietus ne sis.

  This is where it comes hard slaving it for a nabob, this is
  where a plutocrat’s servant is worse off--night and day
  there’s work enough and more for him, no end, always
  something to be done, yes, or said, so that you can’t rest.

ipse dominus dives, operis et laboris expers, 170
quodcumque homini accidit libere, posse retur:
aequom esse putat, non reputat laboris quid sit[10] (172)
ergo in servitute expetunt multa iniqua: (174)
habendum et ferundum hoc onust cum labore.

  And your plutocrat of a master, that never does a handsturn
  of work himself, takes it for granted that any whim that
  comes into a man’s head can be gratified: yes, he counts
  that the fair thing, and never takes account of how much
  the work is. Ah, I tell you, there’s a great deal of
  injustice this slavery lets you in for: you’ve got to take
  your load and carry it, and that is work.

Mer.

Satius me queri illo modo servitutem:
hodie qui fuerim liber,
cum nunc potivit pater servitutis,
his qui verna natus est queritur.

  (_aside_) It would be more in order for Mercury to do some
  of this grumbling about menial station--was free this very
  day, and now his father has made a slave of him. It’s this
  fellow, a born drudge, that is grumbling.

Sos.

Sum vero verna verbero: num numero mi in mentem fuit, 180
dis advenientem gratias pro meritis agere atque alloqui?
ne illi edepol si merito meo referre studeant gratiam,
aliquem hominem allegent qui mihi advenienti os occillet probe,
quoniam bene quae in me fecerunt ingrata ea habui atque inrita.

  (_frightened again_) I need a drubbing, I do, drudge
  that I am. I was not too quick, was I, to think of
  addressing the gods and giving ’em due thanks on my arrival?
  Oh Lord! if they took a notion to pay me back my dues,
  they’d commission some one to mash my face for me in fine
  shape on my arrival, now that I haven’t appreciated the good
  turns they’ve done me and have let ’em go for nothing.
  (_makes sure he is safe_)

Mer.

Facit ille quod volgo haud solent, ut quid se sit dignum sciat.

  (_aside_) Rather uncommon that,--his knowing what he
  deserves to get.

Sos.

Quod numquam opinatus fui neque alius quisquam civium
sibi eventurum, id contigit, ut salvi poteremur domi.
victores victis hostibus legiones reveniunt domum,
duello exstincto maximo atque internecatis hostibus.

  What I never dreamed would happen nor anyone else on our
  side, either, has happened, and here we are safe and sound.
  (_magnificently_) Our legions come back victorious, our
  foes vanquished, a mighty contest concluded and our enemies
  massacred to a man.

quod multa Thebano poplo acerba obiecit funera, 190
id vi et virtute militum victum atque expugnatum oppidum est
imperio atque auspicio eri mei Amphitruonis maxime.
praeda atque agro adoriaque adfecit populares suos
regique Thebano Creoni regnum stabilivit suom.

  The town that has brought an untimely death to many a
  Theban citizen has been crushed and captured by the strength
  and valour of our soldiery, aye, and chiefly under the
  command and auspices of my own master, Amphitryon. He has
  furnished forth his countrymen with booty and land and fame,
  and fixed King Creon firm upon his Theban throne.

me a portu praemisit domum, ut haec nuntiem uxori suae,
ut gesserit rem publicam ductu imperio auspicio suo.
ea nunc meditabor quo modo illi dicam, cum illo advenero.
si dixero mendacium, solens meo more fecero.

  (_subsiding_) As for me, he has sent me on ahead home from
  the harbour to tell his wife the news: how the state was
  served under the leadership, command, and auspices of--his
  very own self. (_meditating_) Now let me think how I am to
  tell her the tale when I get there. If I do work in a lie or
  two, it won’t be anything extraordinary for me.

nam cum pugnabant maxume, ego tum fugiebam maxume;
verum quasi adfuerim tamen simulabo atque audita eloquar. 200
sed quo modo et verbis quibus me deceat fabularier,
prius ipse mecum etiam volo his meditari. sic hoc proloquar.

  The fact is, it was just when they were doing their hardest
  fighting that I was doing my hardest running. Oh well, I’ll
  pretend I was there just the same, and recite what I heard
  tell about it. But the neatest way to narrate my story--
  and the words to use--I must practise a bit by myself
  beforehand here.

Principio ut illo advenimus, ubi primum terram tetigimus,
continuo Amphitruo delegit viros primorum principes;
eos legat, Telobois iubet sententiam ut dicant suam;
si sine vi et sine hello velint rapta et raptores tradere,
si quae asportassent redderent, se exercitum extemplo domum
reducturum, abituros agro Argivos, pacem atque otium
dare illis; sin aliter sient animati neque dent quae petat,
sese igitur summa vi virisque eorum oppidum oppugnassere. 210

  (_pauses_) Here’s how we’ll begin. (_lays lantern down and
  addresses supposed Alcmena importantly_) First and foremost,
  when we reached there, as soon as we had touched land,
  straightway Amphitryon picks out the most illustrous of his
  captains. These he sends forth as legates and bids convey
  his terms to the Teloboians, to wit: should they wish,
  without contention and without strife, to deliver up pillage
  and pillagers and restore whatsoever they had carried off,
  he himself would lead his army home forthwith and the
  Argives would leave their land and grant them peace and
  quietude; but were they otherwise disposed, and disinclined
  to yield what he sought, he would thereupon with all the
  force at his command make onslaught on their city.

Haec ubi Telobois ordine iterarunt quos praefecerat
Amphitruo, magnanimi viri freti virtute et viribus
superbe nimis ferociter legates nostros increpant,
respondent bello se et suos tutari posse, proinde uti
propere irent, de suis finibus exercitus deducerent.
haec ubi legati pertulere, Amphitruo castris ilico
producit omnem exercitum. Teloboae contra ex oppido
legiones educunt suas nimis pulcris armis praeditas.

  When Amphitryon’s ambassadors had duly made this
  proclamation to the Teloboians, they, doughty warriors,
  confiding in their courage and glorying in their strength,
  made right rough and haughty answer to our embassy, saying
  that they could defend themselves and theirs by force of
  arms, and that accordingly they should depart at once
  and lead their troops out from the Teloboian borders. On
  receiving this report from his legates, Amphitryon at once
  led forth his whole army from camp. And from the city, too,
  the Teloboians led out their legions in goodly panoply.

postquam utrimque exitum est maxima copia,
dispertiti viri, dispertiti ordines, 220
nos nostras more nostro et modo instruximus
legiones, item hostes contra legiones suas instruont.

  After both sides had marched out in full force, troops
  arrayed, and ranks arrayed, we drew up our legions according
  to our usual method and manner: our foemen likewise draw up
  their legions facing ours.

deinde utrique imperatores in medium exeunt,
extra turbam ordinum colloquontur simul.
convenit, victi utri sint eo proelio,
urbem agrum aras focos seque uti dederent.

  Then forward into the centre of the field stride the
  leaders of both hosts, and there out beyond the serried
  lines they hold colloquy. This pact was made, that they
  who were conquered in this battle should surrender city
  and land, shrines, homes, and persons.

postquam id actum est, tubae contra utrimque occanunt,
consonat terra, clamorem utrimque efferunt.
imperator utrimque, hinc et illinc, Iovi
vota suscipere, utrimque hortari exercitum. 230

  This done, the trumpets blared on either side; earth echoes;
  on either side the battle cry is raised. The generals on
  either side, both here and there, offer their vows to Jove,
  and on either side cheer their warriors.

tum pro se quisque id quod quisque potest et valet
edit, ferro ferit, tela frangunt, boat
caelum fremitu virum, ex spiritu atque anhelitu
nebula constat, cadunt volnerum vi viri.

  Then each man lays about him with his every ounce of
  strength and strikes home with his blade: lances shiver:
  the welkin rings with the roar of heroes: up from their
  gasping, panting breath a cloud arises: men drop beneath
  the weight of wounds.

Denique, ut voluimus, nostra superat manus:
hostes crebri cadunt, nostri contra ingruont vi[11] feroces.
sed[12] fugam in se tamen nemo convortitur
nec recedit loco quin statim rem gerat;
animam omittunt prius quam loco demigrent: 240
quisque ut steterat iacet optinetque ordinem.

  At last, as we wished, our host prevails: the foemen fall in
  heaps: on and on we press, fired by our might. Yet for all
  that, none turns in flight nor yields an inch, but stands
  his ground and hews away. They lose their lives sooner than
  quit their post. As each had stood, so he lies, and keeps
  the line unbroken.

hoc ubi Amphitruo erus conspicatust,
ilico equites iubet dextera inducere.
equites parent citi: ab dextera maximo
cum clamore involant impetu alacri,
foedant et proterunt hostium copias
iure iniustas.

  When my lord Amphitryon noted this, he straightway ordered
  that the cavalry on our right be led to the charge. Swift
  they obey, and with terrific yells swooping down from the
  right in mad career they mangle and trample underfoot the
  forces of our foes and right our wrongs. (_wipes his brow
  and meditates_)

Mer.

Numquam etiam quicquam adhuc verborum est prolocutus perperam:
namque ego fui illi in re praesenti et meus, cum pugnatum est, pater.

  (_aside_) Not a single, solitary word of fiction has he
  uttered yet: for I was there myself while the battle was
  actually going on, and my father too.

Sos.

Perduelles penetrant se in fugam; ibi nostris animus additust: 250
vortentibus Telobois telis complebantur corpora,
ipsusque Amphitruo regem Pterelam sua obtruncavit manu.
haec illic est pugnata pugna usque a mani ad vesperum--
hoc adeo hoc commemini magis, quia illo die inpransus fui--
sed proelium id tandem diremit nox interventu suo.

  (_gathering himself together_) Their warriors take to
  flight; at this new courage animates our men. When the
  Teloboians turn their backs we stick them full of spears,
  and Amphitryon himself cut down King Pterelas with his own
  hand. This fight was fought out all through the day there
  from morn till eve. (_reflectively_) I remember this
  point more distinctly because that noon I went without my
  lunch. But darkness at last intervened and terminated the
  engagement.

postridie in castra ex urbe ad nos veniunt flentes principes:
velatis manibus orant ignoscamus peccatum suom,
deduntque se, divina humanaque omnia, urbem et liberos
indicionem atque in arbitratum cuncti Thebano poplo.
post ob virtutem ero Amphitruoni patera donata aurea est, 260
qui Pterela potitare solitus est rex. haec sic dicam erae
nunc pergam eri imperium exequi et me domum capessere.

  The following day their foremost men come tearfully from the
  city to our camp, their hands veiled in suppliant wise, and
  entreat us to pardon their transgression: and one and all
  they surrender their persons, their entire possessions
  sacred and profane, their city and their children to the
  Theban people to have and to hold as they deem fit. Then,
  for his valour, my lord Amphitryon was presented with a
  golden bowl from which King Pterelas was wont to drink.
  (_heaves deep sigh of relief_) This is how I will tell it
  to the mistress. Now I’ll go finish up the job for master
  and take myself home. (_picks up lantern_)

Mer.

Attat, illic huc iturust. ibo ego illi obviam,
neque ego huc hominem hodie ad aedis has sinam umquam accedere;
quando imago est huius in me, certum est hominem eludere.
et enim vero quoniam formam cepi huius in med et statum,
decet et facta moresque huius habere me similes item,
itaque me malum esse oportet, callidum, astutum admodum
atque hunc, telo suo sibi, malitia a foribus pellere.
sed quid illuc est? caelum aspectat. observabo quam rem agat. 270

  (_aside_) Oho! about to come this way! I’ll step up and
  meet him. The fellow shall never reach this house at present:
  I won’t have it. Now that I am his double I fully intend to
  befool the fellow. And I say, considering I have taken on
  his looks and dress, it is appropriate for me to ape his
  ways and general conduct, too. I must be a sly rapscallion,
  then, shifty as the deuce, yes, and drive him away from the
  door with his own weapon, roguery. (_looking at Sosia who is
  gaping at the stars_) What’s he at, though? Staring at the
  sky! I must keep an eye on him.

Sos.

Certe edepol, si quicquamst aliud quod credam aut certo sciam,
credo ego hac noctu Nocturnum obdormivisse ebrium.
nam neque se Septentriones quoquam in caelo commovent,
neque se Luna quoquam mutat atque uti exorta est semel,
nec Iugulae neque Vesperugo neque Vergiliae occidunt.
ita statim stant signa, neque nox quoquam concedit die.

  My goodness, if there’s anything I can believe or know for
  sure, I surely do believe old Nocturnus went to bed this
  night in liquor. Why, the Great Bear hasn’t moved a step
  anywhere in the sky, and the moon’s just as it was when it
  first rose, and Orion’s Belt, and the Evening Star, and the
  Pleiades aren’t setting, either. Yes, the constellations are
  standing stock still, and no sign of day anywhere.

Mer.

Perge, Nox, ut occepisti, gere patri morem meo:
optumo optume optumam operam das, datam pulchre locas.

  (_aside_) Go on as you have begun, Night: oblige my
  father: you’re doing splendidly in a splendid work for a
  splendid deity: you’ll find it a fine investment.

Sos.

Neque ego hac nocte longiorem me vidisse censeo,
nisi item unam, verberatus quam pependi perpetem; 280
eam quoque edepol etiam multo haec vicit longitudine.
credo edepol equidem dormire Solem, atque adpotum probe;
mira sunt nisi invitavit sese in cena plusculum.

  I don’t think I ever did see a longer night--barring that
  one when I got whipped and was left strung up till morning.
  And goodness me, in length this one’s way ahead of even that
  one. Gad, I certainly do believe old Sol’s asleep, asleep
  and dead drunk. It’s a wonder if he hasn’t drunk his own
  health a bit too much at dinner.

Mer.

Ain vero, verbero? deos esse tui similis putas?
ego pol te istis tuis pro dictis et male factis, furcifer,
accipiam; modo sis veni huc: invenies infortunium.

  (_aside_) So, you scoundrel? Think the gods are like
  yourself, eh? By heaven, I’ll give you a reception to match
  this talk and roguery of yours, you gallows-bird. Just you
  be good enough to step this way, and you shall meet with a
  mishap.

Sos.

Ubi sunt isti scortatores, qui soli inviti cubant?
haec nox scita est exercendo scorto conducto male.

  Where are those young blades that hate a lonely couch? Here
  is your lovely night for gallivanting with an expensive lady.

Mer.

Meus pater nunc pro huius verbis recte et sapienter facit,
qui complexus cum Alcumena cubat amans animo obsequens. 290

  (_aside_) According to this chap, my father’s making good,
  intelligent use of his time--loving to his heart’s content
  with Alcmena in his fond embrace.

Sos.

Ibo ut erus quod imperavit Alcumenae nuntiem.
sed quis hic est homo, quem ante aedis video hoc noctis? non placet.

  Now for the message master told me to give mistress.
  (_aside as he moves toward house and sees Mercury_)
  But who’s that fellow in front of the house at this time
  o’ night? (_halts, frightened_) I don’t like it.

Mer.

Nullust hoc metuculosus aeque.

  (_aside_) Of all the pusillanimous rogues!

Sos.

Mi in mentem venit,
illic homo hoc de umero volt pallium detexere.

  (_aside_) It looks to me as if this fellow wants to take my
  cloak off for me.

Mer.

Timet homo: deludam ego illum.

  (_aside_) Our friend is scared: we’ll have some sport with
  him.

Sos.

Perii, dentes pruriunt;
certe advenientem hic me hospitio pugneo accepturus est.
credo misericors est: nunc propterea quod me meus erus
fecit ut vigilarem, hic pugnis faciet hodie ut dormiam.
oppido interii. obsecro hercle, quantus et quam validus est.

  (_aside_) Oh Lord, my teeth do--itch! He’s going to give me
  a welcome on my arrival, he surely is,--a fisty welcome!
  He’s a kind-hearted soul, I do believe. Seeing how master’s
  kept me awake all night, he’s going to up with his fists now
  and put me to sleep. Oh, I’m dead entirely! For God’s sake
  look at the size of him, and strong, heavens!

Mer.

Clare advorsum fabulabor, ut his auscultet quae loquar; 300
igitur magis demum maiorem in sese concipiet metum,
agite, pugni, iam diu est quom ventri victum non datis:
iam pridem videtur factum, heri quod homines quattuor
in soporem collocastis nudos.

  (_aside_) I’ll speak out aloud, so that he can hear what I
  say, and then I warrant he’ll feel shakier still. (_loudly,
  with melodramatic fierceness_) Fists, be up and doing! ’Tis
  long since ye have made provision for my paunch. It seems an
  age since yesterday when ye stripped stark four men and laid
  them away in slumber.

Sos.

Formido male,
ne ego hic nomen meum commutem et Quintus fiam e Sosia;
quattuor nudos sopori se dedisse hic autumat;
metuo ne numerum augeam illum.

  (_aside_) Oh, but I’m awfully scared my name will be changed
  here and now, from Sosia to Sosia the Fifth. Four men he’s
  stripped already and sent to slumberland, so he says: I’m
  afraid I’m going to swell that list.

Mer.

Em, nunciam ergo: sic volo.

  (_tightening his girdle_) There, now then! ’Tis well.

Sos.

Cingitur; certe expedit se.

  (_aside_) Loins girded! He is surely getting ready for
  business.

Mer.

Non feret quin vapulet.

  He shall not escape a trouncing.

Sos.

Quis homo?

  (_aside, anxiously_) Who, who?

Mer.

Quisquis homo huc profecto venerit, pugnos edet.

  I tell ye, any man that comes this way shall eat fists.

Sos.

Apage, non placet me hoc noctis esse: cenavi modo: 310
proin tu istam cenam largire, si sapis, esurientibus.

  (_aside_) No you don’t! I don’t care about eating at this
  time o’ night. It wasn’t long ago I dined. So if you’ve got
  any sense, you just bestow that dinner on the hungry.

Mer.

Haud malum huic est pondus pugno.

  (_examining his right fist_) There’s some weight in that
  fist.

Sos.

Perii, pugnos ponderat.

  (_aside_) I’m finished! He’s a-weighing his fists!

Mer.

Quid si ego illum tractim tangam, ut dormiat?

  (_sparring_) What if I should stroke him softly into
  somnolence?

Sos.

Servaveris,
nam contiuas has tris noctes pervigilavi.

  (_aside_) You’d save my life: I haven’t slept a wink
  for three nights running.

Mer.
Pessumest,
facimus nequiter, ferire malam male discit manus;
alia forma esse oportet quem tu pugno legeris.

  (_swinging heavily_) Downright sinful, this! This is a
  shame! ’Tis wrong of my arm to learn really to jab a jaw!
  (_to arm as he feels biceps_) Merely graze a man with
  thy fist and his shape must needs be altered.

Sos.

Illic homo me interpolabit meumque os finget denuo.

  (_aside_) That bully’s going to do me up and mould my face
  all over again for me.

Mer.

Exossatum os esse oportet quem probe percusseris.

  The face that thou shalt smite in earnest is bound
  thereafter to be boneless.

Sos.

Mirum ni hic me quasi murenam exossare cogitat.
ultro istunc qui exossat homines, perii, si me aspexerit. 320

  (_aside_) Sure enough he’s reckoning on boning me like
  a lamprey. I--I object to these man-boners. It’s all up if
  he catches sight of me.

Mer.

Olet homo quidam malo suo.

  (_sniffing the air_) Ha! I smell somebody, and woe to him!

Sos.

  Ei, numnam ego obolui?

  (_aside_) Oh, dear! It can’t be he’s got a whiff of me?

Mer.

Atque haud longe abesse oportet, verum longe hinc afuit.

  Aye, and he must be near at hand, albeit he has been afar
  from here.

Sos.

Illi homo superstitiosust.

  (_aside_) The fellow’s got second sight.

Mer.

Gestiunt pugni mihi.

  My fists are rampant.

Sos.

Si in me exercituru’s, quaeso in parietem ut primum domes.

  (_in low tone_) If you intend to put ’em through their
  paces on me, for heaven’s sake break ’em in first on the
  wall.

Mer.

Vox mi ad aures advolavit.

  A voice hath flown unto my ear.

Sos.

Ne ego homo infelix fui,
qui non alas intervelli: volucrem vocem gestito.

  (_aside_) There you are! I swear I am an unlucky devil
  not to have clipped its wings, and me with such a bird-like
  voice.

Mer.

Illic homo a me sibi malam rem arcessit iumento suo.

  Yon wight doth summon me to wallop his beast’s back for him.

Sos.

Non equidem ullum habeo iumentum.

  (_aside_) Never a beast do I own, not I.

Mer.

Onerandus est pugnis probe.

  He needs a lusty load of buffets.

Sos.

Lassus sum hercle, navi ut vectus huc sum: etiam nunc nauseo;
vix incedo inanis, ne ire posse cum onere existimes. 330

  (_in low tone_) Oh Lord! and me all done up with that
  sea trip home! I’m seasick even now. It’s all I can do to
  stump along empty handed, so don’t think I can travel with
  a load.

Mer.

Certe enim his nescio quis loquitur.

  Yea, of a truth some one is talking here.

Sos.

Salvos sum, non me videt:
nescioquem loqui autumat; mihi certo nomen Sosiaest.

  (_in lower tone_) Saved! He doesn’t see me. It’s Some
  one he says is talking: and my same is Sosia, I know that
  for a fact.

Mer.

Hinc enim mihi dextra vox auris, ut videtur, verberat.

  Yes, a voice from the right here, as it seems, doth strike
  my ear.

Sos.

Metuo, vocis ne vicem hodie hic vapulem, quae hunc verberat.

  (_aside_) I’m afraid he’ll soon pummel me instead of my
  voice for its striking him. (_steps forward timidly_)

Mer.

Optume eccum incedit ad me.

  Oho! Splendid! He moves this way.

Sos.

Timeo, totus torpeo.
non edepol nunc ubi terrarum sim scio, si quis roget,
neque miser me commovere possum prae formidine.
ilicet, mandata eri perierunt una et Sosia.
verum certum est confidenter hominem contra conloqui,
qui possim videri huic fortis, a me ut abstineat manum. 340

  (_aside_) I’m scared, I’m simply stiff! Good gracious,
  I don’t know where in the world I am, not if anyone asked
  me. Oh dear, I can’t move a step for fear! This ends me!
  Master’s orders are done for, and Sosia, too. But I’m
  resolved--I’m going to speak right up to him boldly, so that
  I can make him think I’m a dangerous character and let me
  be. (_tries to swagger_)

Mer.

Quo ambulas, tu qui Volcanum in cornu conclusum geris?

  Whither dost stroll, thou who conveyest (_pointing to
  lantern_) Vulcan pent within yon horn?

Sos.

Quid id exquiris tu, qui pugnis os exossas hominibus?

  What dost want to know for, thou who bonest folks’ faces for
  ’em with yon fists?

Mer.

Servosne es an liber?

  Art slave or free?

Sos.
Utcumque animo conlibitum est meo.

  Whichever I please.

Mer.

Ain vero?

  So? In sooth?

Sos.

Aio enim vero.

  Yes, so in sooth.

Mer.

Verbero.

  Thou whipped slave!

Sos.

Mentiris nunc.

  You lie: I’m none.

Mer.

At iam faciam ut verum dixas dicere.

  (_advancing_) But I shall soon make thee say ’tis true.

Sos.

Quid eo est opus?

  (_shrinking back_) Oh, what’s the use of that?

Mer.

Possum scire, quo profectus, cuius sis aut quid veneris?

  (_sternly_) May I be informed where thou art bound, who owns
  thee, or why thou camest? (_halts_)

Sos.

Huc eo, eri iussu, eius sum servos. numquid nunc es certior?

  (_encouraged_) I’m bound for here--master’s orders--and I’m
  his slave. Are you any wiser now?

Mer.

Ego tibi istam hodie, sceleste, comprimam linguam.

  I’ll soon make thee hold thy tongue, miscreant!

Sos.

Haud potes:
bene pudiceque adservatur.

  No chance, she’s chaperoned in nice modest fashion.

Mer.

Pergin argutarier?
quid apud hasce aedis negoti est tibi?

  Still at thy quips, eh? What business hast thou at this
  house?

Sos.

Immo quid tibi est? 350

  Well, and what have you?

Mer.

Rex Creo vigiles nocturnos singulos semper locat.

  King Creon posts separate sentries about here every night.

Sos.

Bene facit: quia nos eramus peregre, tutatust domi;
at nunc abi sane, advenisse familiares dicito.

  (_in superior manner_) Much obliged. Seeing we were abroad,
  he’s kept guard for us at home. But now you can be off: say
  the family servants have got back.

Mer.

Nescio quam tu familiaris sis: nisi actutum hinc abis,
familiaris accipiere faxo haud familiariter.

  Thou a family servant, indeed! Unless thou dost disappear
  instantly, I warrant ye I’ll welcome servants of the family
  with strange familiarity.

Sos.

Hic inquam habito ego atque horunc servos sum.

  Here’s where I live, I tell you. This is my master’s house.

Mer.

At scin quo modo?
faciam ego hodie te superbum, nisi hinc abis.

  But knowest thou what? I’ll soon be making an exalted man of
  thee, an’ thou decampest not.

Sos.

Quonam modo?

  Exalted! How is that?

Mer.

Auferere, non abibis, si ego fustem sumpsero.

  You shall be carried off on people’s shoulders--no walking--
  once I take my club to you.

Sos.

Quin me esse huius familiai familiarem praedico.

  I’m a member of the household here, I do avow.

Mer.

Vide sis quam mox vapulare vis, nisi actutum hinc abis. 360

  Kindly consider how soon you want a thrashing, unless you
  vanish instantly.

Sos.

Tun domo prohibere peregre me advenientem postulas?

  So you want to forbid me the house when I’m getting back
  from foreign parts, you?

Mer.

Haecine tua domust?

  Is this the house where you belong?

Sos.

Ita inquam.

  That’s what I say.

Mer.

Quis erus est igitur tibi?

  Who is your master, then?

Sos.
Amphitruo, qui nunc praefectust Thebanis legionibus,
quicum nupta est Alcumena.

  Amphitryon, now in command of the Theban army, and his wife
  is Alcmena.

Mer.

Quid ais? quid nomen tibi est?

  How say you? Your name!

Sos.

Sosiam vocant Thebani, Davo prognatum patre.

  Sosia the Thebans call me, Sosia, son of Davus.

Mer.

Ne tu istic hodie malo tuo compositis mendaciis
advenisti, audaciai columen, consutis dolis.

  Ah! ’twas an evil hour for thee, when thou camest here,
  thou pinnacle of impudence, with thy premeditated lies and
  patched-up fabrications.

Sos.

Immo equidem tunicis consutis huc advenio, non dolis.

  You’re wrong, I vow: I’ve come with my tunic patched up,
  not my fabrications.

Mer.

At mentiris etiam: certo pedibus, non tunicis venis.

  Ha, lying again! Thou dost clearly come with thy feet, not
  thy tunic.

Sos.

Ita profecto.

  (_dryly_) Naturally.

Mer.

Nunc profecto vapula ob mendacium. 370

  And naturally now get thrashed for fibbing.
  (_advances_)

Sos.

Non edepol volo profecto.

  (_retreats_) Oh dear, I object, naturally.

Mer.

At pol profecto ingratiis.
hoc quidem profecto certum est, non est arbitrarium.

  Oh well, naturally that is immaterial. My “naturally,”
  at least, is a cold hard fact, no matter of opinion.
  (_beats him_)

Sos.

Tuam fidem obsecro.

  (_squirming_) Easy, easy, for Heaven’s sake!

Mer.

Tun te audes Sosiam esse dicere,
qui ego sum?

  Durst say that thou art Sosia when I am he?

Sos.

Perii.

  Murder! murder!

Mer.

Parum etiam, praeut futurum est, praedicas.
quoius nunc es?

  (_continuing to beat him_) Murder? A mere nothing compared
  with what is coming. Whose are you now?

Sos.

Tuos, nam pugnis usu fecisti tuom.
pro fidem, Thebani cives.

  Yours! Your fists have got a title to me by limitation.
  Help, Thebans, help!

Mer.

Etiam clamas, carnifex?
loquere, quid venisti?

  So? Bellowing, varlet? Speak up, why camest thou?

Sos.

Ut esset quem tu pugnis caederes.

  Just to give you some one to punch, sir.

Mer.

Cuius es?

  Whose are you?

Sos.

Amphitruonis, inquam, Sosia.

  Amphitryon’s Sosia, I tell you.

Mer.

Ergo istoc magis,
quia vaniloquo’s, vapulabis: ego sum, non tu, Sosia.

  Well then, you shall be pummelled the more for talking
  nonsense. You Sosia! I am he myself.

Sos.

Ita di faciant, ut tu potius sis atque ego te ut verberem. 380

  (_in low tone_) I wish to God you were, instead of me, and I
  was thumping you.

Mer.

Etiam muttis?

  Ha! Muttering, eh?

Sos.

  Iam tacebo.

  I won’t, I won’t, sir!

Mer.

Quis tibi erust?

  Who is your master?

Sos.

Quem tu voles.

  Anyone you like, sir.

Mer.

Quid igitur? qui nunc vocare?

  Indeed? And your name now?

Sos.

Nemo nisi quem iusseris.

  Nothing but what you order, sir.

Mer.

Amphitruonis te esse aiebas Sosiam.

  You were saying you were Amphitryon’s Sosia.

Sos.

Peccaveram.
nam Amphitruonis[13] socium ne me esse volui dicere.

  All a mistake, sir; “Amphitryon’s associate” I meant, sir,
  really I did.

Mer.

Sciebam equidem nullum esse nobis nisi me servom Sosiam.
fugit te ratio.

  Ah, I knew quite well there was no servant Sosia at our
  place except me. You made a slip.

Sos.

Utinam istuc pugni fecissent tui.

  Oh, how I wish your fists had!

Mer.

Ego sum Sosia ille quem tu dudum esse aiebas mihi.

  I am that Sosia you claimed to be a while ago.

Sos.

Obsecro ut per pacem liceat te alloqui, ut ne vapulem.

  For heaven’s sake, sir, let me have a word with you in peace
  without getting pummelled.

Mer.

Immo indutiae parumper fiant, si quid vis loqui.

  No peace--but I consent to a short armistice, if you have
  anything to say.

Sos.

Non loquar nisi pace facta, quando pugnis plus vales. 390

  I won’t say it, not unless peace is made: your fists are too
  much for me.

Mer.

Dic si quid vis, non nocebo.

  Out with what you want: I shall not hurt you!

Sos.

Tuae fide credo?

  Can I take your word for that?

Mer.

Meae.

  You can.

Sos.

Quid si falles?

  What if you fool me?

Mer.

Tum Mercurius Sosiae iratus siet.

  (_solemnly_) Then may Sosia feel the wrath of Mercury!

Sos.

Animum advorte. nunc licet mihi libere quidvis loqui.
Amphitruonis ego sum servos Sosia.

  Listen here, sir. Now I’m free to come out plain with
  anything. I am Amphitryon’s Sosia, I am.

Mer.

Etiam denuo?

  (_advancing_) What? Again?

Sos.

Pacem feci, foedus feci. vera dico.

  (_vigorously_) I made peace--I struck a treaty! It’s
  the truth.

Mer.

Vapula.

  Be thrashed to you!

Sos.

Ut libet quid tibi libet fac, quoniam pugnis plus vales;
verum, utut es facturus, hoc quidem hercle haud reticebo tamen.

  Suit yourself, do what suits you, seeing your fists are too
  much for me. (_doggedly_) But just the same, no matter what
  you do, I won’t keep that back, by gad, not that.

Mer.

Tu me vivos hodie numquam facies quin sim Sosia.

  You shall never live to make me anyone but Sosia, never.

Sos.

Certe edepol tu me alienabis numquam quin noster siem;
nec nobis praeter med alius quisquam est servos Sosia.[14] 400

  And by thunder, you shall never do me out of being our
  family’s servant. No sir, and I’m the only servant Sosia we
  have.

Mer.

Hic homo sanus non est.

  The man is crazy.

Sos.

Quod mihi praedicas vitium, id tibi est. (402)
quid, malum, non sum ego servos Amphitruonis Sosia?
nonne hac noctu nostra navis huc ex portu Persico
venit, quae me advexit? nonne me huc erus misit meus?

  Crazy? You’re putting your own complaint off on to me.
  (_half to himself_) See here, dash it, an’t I Amphitryon’s
  servant Sosia? Didn’t our ship arrive this night from Port
  Persicus, and I on it? Didn’t my own master send me here?

nonne ego nunc sto ante aedes nostras? non mi est lanterna in manu?
non loquor, non vigilo? nonne hic homo modo me pugnis contudit?
fecit hercle, nam etiam misero nunc mihi malae dolent.
quid igitur ego dubito, aut cur non intro eo in nostram domum?

  An’t I standing in front of our own house this minute?
  Haven’t I got a lantern in my hand? An’t I talking? An’t
  I awake? Didn’t this chap just give me a bruising? Lord,
  but he did! Why, my poor jaws ache even now. What am I
  hesitating for, then? Or why don’t I go inside our house?

Mer.

Quid, domum vostram?

  What? Your house?

Sos.

Ita enim vero.

Yes, just so.

Mer.
Quin quae dixisti modo 410
omnia ementitu’s: equidem Sosia Amphitruonis sum.
nam noctu hac soluta est navis nostra e portu Persico,
et ubi Pterela rex regnavit oppidum expugnavimus.
et legiones Teloboarum vi pugnando cepimus,
et ipsus Amphitruo optruncavit regem Pterelam in proelio.

  You lie, I tell you: your every word has been a lie. I am
  Amphitryon’s Sosia, beyond dispute. Why, this very night we
  unmoored and left Port Persicus; and we have seized the city
  where King Pterelas held sway; and we subdued the legions of
  the Teloboians by our sturdy onslaught; and Amphitryon
  himself slew King Pterelas on the field of battle.

Sos.

Egomet mihi non credo, cum illaec autumare illum audio;
hic quidem certe quae illic sunt res gestae memorat memoriter.
sed quid ais? quid Amphitruoni doni a Telobois datum est?

  (_aside_) I can’t believe my own ears when I hear that
  fellow going on so. My word, he certainly does reel our
  doings there all off pat. (_aloud_) But I say--what was
  Amphitryon presented with from the Teloboian spoils?

Mer.

Pterela rex qui potitare solitus est patera aurea.

  A golden bowl that King Pterelas was wont to drink from.

Sos.

Elocutus est. ubi patera nunc est?

  (_aside_) He’s hit it! (_aloud_) Where is the bowl now?

Mer.

Est in cistula; 420
Amphitruonis obsignata signo est.

  In a little chest, sealed with Amphitryon’s signet.

Sos.

  Signi dic quid est?

  What’s on the signet, tell me that?

Mer.

Cum quadrigis Sol exoriens. quid me captas, carnufex?

  Sol rising in a four horse chariot. (_blustering_) Why this
  attempt to catch me, caitiff?

Sos.

Argumentis vicit, aliud nomen quaerundum est mihi.
nescio unde haec hic spectavit. iam ego hunc decipiam probe;
nam quod egomet solus feci, nec quisquam alius affuit,
in tabernaclo, id quidem hodie numquam poterit dicere.
si tu Sosia es, legiones cum pugnabant maxume,
quid in tabernaclo fecisti? victus sum, si dixeris.

  (_aside_) This evidence settles me. I’ve got to find me
  a new name. I don’t understand where he saw all this from.
  (_reflecting_) Ah, now I’ll trick him in good style. Yes,
  something I did when I was all alone, and not another soul
  there, in the tent,--he’ll never be able to tell me about
  that, anyway. (_aloud_) Well, if you’re Sosia, what did you
  do in the tent when the soldiers were in the thick of the
  fight? Answer me that and I give in.

Mer.

Cadus erat vini: inde implevi hirneam.

  There was a cask of wine: I drew off a jugful.

Sos.

Ingressust viam.

  (_aside_) He’s on the right track.

Mer.

Eam ego, ut matre fuerat natum, vini eduxi meri. 430

  Then I drained it, wine pure as it came from its mother.

Sos.

Factum est illud, ut ego illic vini hirneam ebiberim meri.
mira sunt nisi latuit intus illic in illac hirnea.

  (_aside_) That’s a fact--I did drink off a jug of wine,
  neat. Most probably the fellow was hiding in that same jug!

Mer.

Quid nunc? vincon argumentis, te non esse Sosiam?

  Well, have I convinced you that you are not Sosia?

Sos.

Tu negas med esse?

  You deny it, do you?

Mer.

Quid ego ni negem, qui egomet siem?

  Of course I deny it, being Sosia myself.

Sos.

Per Iovem iuro med esse neque me falsum dicere.

  No, I am,--I swear it by Jupiter, and swear I’m not lying,
  too!

Mer.

At ego per Mercurium iuro, tibi Iovem non credere;
nam iniurato scio plus credet mihi quam iurato tibi.

  But I swear by Mercury that Jupiter disbelieves you. Why,
  man, he will take my bare word against your solemn oath, no
  doubt about it.

Sos.

Quis ego sum saltem, si non sum Sosia? te interrogo.

  For mercy’s sake who am I, if I’m not Sosia? I ask you that.

Mer.

Ubi ego Sosia nolim esse, tu esto sane Sosia;
nunc, quando ego sum, vapulabis, ni hinc abis, ignobilis. 440

  When I do not wish to be Sosia, be Sosia yourself, by all
  means. Now that I am he, you either pack, or take a
  thrashing, you unknown riff raff.

Sos.

Certe edepol, quom illum contemplo et formam cognosco meam,
quem ad modum ego sum--saepe in speculum inspexi--nimis similest mei;
itidem habet petasum ac vestitum: tam consimilest atque ego;
sura, pes, statura, tonsus, oculi, nasum vel labra,
malae, mentum, barba, collus: totus. quid verbis opust?

  (_aside, looking him over carefully_) Upon my soul, now I
  look him over, and consider my own looks, my own appearance--
  I’ve peeped in a mirror many a time--he is precious like
  me. Has on a travelling hat, yes, and clothes the same
  as mine. He’s as like me as I am myself! Same leg--foot--
  height--haircut--eyes--nose--lips, even--jaw-- chin--beard--
  neck--everything. Well--well, well, well!

si tergum cicatricosum, nihil hoc similist similius.
sed quom cogito, equidem certo idem sum qui semper fui.
novi erum, novi aedis nostras; sane sapio et sentio.
non ego illi obtempero quod loquitur, pultabo foris.

  If he’s got a backful of whip scars, you couldn’t find a
  liker likeness anywhere. (_pause_) But--when I think it
  over--I’m positive I’m the same man I always was, of course
  I am. (_with growing conviction_) I know master, I know our
  house. I’m sane and sound, I’ve got my senses. I won’t take
  any notice of what he says, not I. I’ll knock at the door
  (_moves toward Amphitryon’s house_)

Mer.

Quo agis te?

  (_blocking him off_) Where now?

Sos.

Domum.

  Home.

Mer.

Quadrigas si nunc inscendas Iovis 450
atque hinc fugias, ita vix poteris effugere infortunium.

  (_advancing_) And shouldst thou climb into Jupiter’s four
  horse chariot and seek to flee, e’en so thou canst hardly
  fly misfortune.

Sos.

Nonne erae meae nuntiare quod erus meus iussit licet?

  I can tell my own mistress what my own master ordered me to
  tell her, can’t I?

Mer.

Tuae si quid vis nuntiare: hanc nostram adire non sinam.
nam si me inritassis, hodie lumbifragium hinc auferes.

  Thy own mistress, aye,--whatever likes thee: but never shalt
  thou approach ours here. Yea, provoke me, and thou draggest
  hence a shipwreck of a man. (_advancing_)

Sos.

Abeo potius. di immortales, obsecro vostram fidem,
ubi ego perii? ubi immutatus sum? ubi ego formam perdidi?
an egomet me illic reliqui, si forte oblitus fui?
nam hic quidem omnem imaginem meam, quae antehac fuerat, possidet.

  (_retreating_) Don’t, don’t,--I’ll be off! (_aside_) Ye
  immortal gods! For heaven’s sake, where did I lose myself?
  Where was I transformed? Where did I drop my shape? I didn’t
  leave myself behind at the harbour, did I, if I did happen
  to forget it? For, my word, this fellow has got hold of my
  complete image, mine that was!

vivo fit quod numquam quisquam mortuo faciet mihi.
ibo ad portum atque haec uti sunt facta ero dicam meo; 460
nisi etiam is quoque me ignorabit; quod ille faxit Iuppiter,
ut ego hodie raso capite calvos capiam pilleum.

  Here I am alive and folks carry my image--more than anyone
  will ever do when I’m dead. I’ll go down to the harbour and
  tell my master all about these goings on--that is unless
  he doesn’t know me, too,--and I hope to Jupiter he won’t,
  so that I may shave my hair off this very day and stick
  my bald head in a freeman’s cap.              [EXIT _Sosia._

I. 2.

Scene 2.

Mer.

Bene prospere hoc hodie operis processit mihi:
amovi a foribus maximam molestiam,
patri ut liceret tuto illam amplexarier.
iam ille illuc ad erum cum Amphitruonem advenerit,
narrabit servom hinc sese a foribus Sosiam
amovisse; ille adeo illum mentiri sibi
credet, neque credet huc profectum, ut iusserat.

  Well, my little affair has progressed finely, famously.
  I have sent a confounded nuisance to the right-about from
  the door and given my father a chance to embrace the lady
  there in safety. Now when our friend gets back there to his
  master, Amphitryon, he’ll tell his tale how it was servant
  Sosia that packed him off. Yes, and then Amphitryon will
  think he is lying, and never came here as he ordered.

erroris ambo ego illos et dementiae 470
complebo atque omnem Amphitruonis familiam,
adeo usque, satietatem dum capiet pater
illius quam amat. igitur demum omnes scient
quae facta. denique Alcumenam Iuppiter
rediget antiquam coniugi in concordiam.

  I’ll muddle up the pair of them, bedevil them completely,
  and Amphitryon’s whole household, too, and keep it up till
  my father has his fill of her whom he loves: then all shall
  know the truth, but not before. And finally Jupiter will
  renew the former harmony between Alcmena and her spouse.

nam Amphitruo actutum uxori turbas conciet
atque insimulabit eam probri; tum meus pater
eam seditionem illi in tranquillum conferet.
nunc de Alcumena dudum quod dixi minus,
hodie illa pariet filios geminos duos 480

  For you see, Amphitryon, will be raging at his wife shortly,
  and accusing her of playing him false: then my father will
  step in and quell the riot. Now about Alcmena--something I
  left unsaid a while ago--now she shall bring forth twin
  sons,

alter decumo post mense nascetur puer
quam seminatust, alter mense septumo;
eorum Amphitruonis alter est, alter Iovis:
verum minori puero maior est pater,
minor maiori. iamne hoc scitis quid siet?

  one being a ten months’ boy, the other a seven. One is
  Amphitryon’s child, the other Jove’s: the younger boy,
  however, has the greater father, and vice versa. You see
  how it is now, do you?

sed Alcumenae huius honoris gratia
pater curavit uno ut fetu fieret,
uno ut labore absolvat aerumnas duas[15]. (488)
quamquam, ut iam dudum dixi, resciscet tamen 49l
Amphitruo rem omnem. quid igitur? nemo id probro
profecto ducet Alcumenae; nam deum
non par videtur facere, delictum suom
suamque ut culpam expetere in mortalem ut sinat.

  But out of consideration for Alcmena here, my father has
  provided that there shall be only one parturition: he
  intends to make one labour suffice for two. But Amphitryon,
  though, as I told you some time since, will be informed of
  the whole affair. But what of that? Certainly no one will
  hold Alcmena guilty: no, no, it would seem highly unbecoming
  for a god to let a mortal take the consequences of his
  misdeeds and his indiscretions.

orationem comprimam: crepuit foris.
Amphitruo subditivos eccum exit foras
cum Alcumena uxore usuraria.

  (_listening_) Enough of this: there goes the door. Ah, the
  counterfeit Amphitryon comes out with his borrowed wife,
  Alcmena! (_steps aside_)

I. 3.

Scene 3.

ENTER _Jupiter_ AND _Alcmena_ FROM THE HOUSE.

Iup.
Jup.

Bene vale, Alcumena, cura rem communem, quod facis;
atque inperce quaeso: menses iam tibi esse actos vides. 500
mihi necesse est ire hinc; verum quod erit natum tollito.

  Good-bye and God bless you, my dear. Continue to look out
  for our common interests, and do be sure not to overdo: you
  are near your time now, you know. I am obliged to leave
  you--but don’t expose the child.

Alc.

Quid istuc est, mi vir, negoti, quod tu tam subito domo abeas?

  (_plaintively_) Why, my husband, what is it takes you away
  so suddenly?

Iup.
Jup.

Edepol haud quod tui me neque domi distaedeat;
sed ubi summus imperator non adest ad exercitum,
citius quod non facto est usus fit quam quod facto est opus.

  No weariness of you and home, I swear to that. But when the
  commander-in-chief is not with his army, things are much
  more liable to go wrong than right.

Mer.

Nimis hic scitust sycophanta, qui quidem meus sit pater.
observatote eum, quam blande muliori palpabitur.

  (_aside_) Ah, he’s a sly old dodger--does me[D] credit,
  my father does! Notice how suavely he’ll smooth her down.

    [Footnote D: Mercury was the patron god of roguery.]

Alc.

Ecastor te experior quanti facias uxorem tuam.

  (_pouting_) Oh yes, I’m learning how much you think of your
  wife.

Iup.
Jup.

Satin habes, si feminarum nulla est quam aeque diligam?

  (_fondly_) Isn’t it enough that you’re the dearest woman in
  the world to me? (_embraces her_)

Mer.

Edepol ne illa si istis rebus te sciat operam dare 510
ego faxim ted Amphitruonem esse malis, quam Iovem.

  (_aside_) Now, now, sir! Just let the lady up yonder
  (_pointing thumb heavenward_) learn of your performances
  here, and I’ll guarantee you’d rather be Amphitryon than
  Jove.

Alc.

Experiri istuc mavellem me quam mi memorarier.
prius abis quam lectus ubi cubuisti concaluit locus.
heri venisti media nocte, nunc abis. hocin placet?

  Actions speak louder than words. Here you are leaving me
  before your place on the couch had time to get warm. You
  came last night at midnight, and now you are going. Does
  that seem right?

Mer.

Accedam atque hanc appellabo et subparasitabor patri.
numquam edepol quemquam mortalem credo ego uxorem suam
sic ecflictim amare, proinde ut hic te ecflictim deperit.

  (_aside_) I’ll go slip a word in and play henchman to my
  father. (_to Alcmena, stepping up_) Lord, ma’am, I don’t
  believe there’s a mortal man alive loves his own wife
  (_glancing slyly at Jupiter_) so madly as the mad way he
  dotes on you.

Iup.
Jup.

Carnufex, non ego te novi? abin e conspectu meo?
quid tibi hanc curatio est rem, verbero, aut muttitio?
quon ego iam hoc scipione--

  (_angrily_) You rascal, don’t I know you? Out of my sight,
  will you! What business have you to interfere with this
  matter, or to breathe a word about it, you scamp? I’ll take
  my cane this instant and--

Alc.

Ah noli.

  (_seizing his arm_) Oh, please don’t!

Iup.
Jup.

Muttito modo. 520

  You just breathe a word now!

Mer.

Nequiter paene expedivit prima parasitatio.

  (_aside dryly_) The henchman’s first try at henching pretty
  nearly came to grief.

Iup.
Jup.

Verum quod tu dicis, mea uxor, non te mi irasci decet.
clanculum abii a legione: operam hanc subrupui tibi,
ex me primo ut prima scires, rem ut gessissem publicam.
ea tibi omnia enarravi. nisi te amarem plurimum,
non facerem.

  But as to what you say, precious,--you oughtn’t to be cross
  with me. It was on the sly that I left my troops: this is a
  stolen treat, stolen for your sake, so that your first news
  of how I served my country might come first from me. And now
  I have told you the whole story. I wouldn’t have done such a
  thing, if I hadn’t loved you with all my heart.

Mer.

Facitne ut dixi? timidam palpo percutit.

  (_aside_) Doing as I said, eh? Stroking her down, patting
  her back, poor thing.

Iup.
Jup.

Nunc, ne legio persentiscat, clam illuc redeundum est mihi,
ne me uxorem praevertisse dicant prae re publica.

  Now I must slip back, so that my men may not get wind of
  this and say I put my wife ahead of the public welfare.

Alc.

Lacrimantem ex abitu concinnas tu tuam uxorem.

  (_tearfully_) And make your own wife cry at your leaving her!

Iup.
Jup.

Tace,
ne corrumpe oculos, redibo actutum.

  (_affectionately_) Hush! Don’t spoil your eyes: I shall be
  back soon.

Alc.

Id actutum diu est. 530

  That “soon” is a long, long time.

Iup.
Jup.

Non ego te hic lubens relinquo neque abeo abs te.

  It’s not that I like to leave you here and go away.

Alc.

Sentio,
nam qua nocte ad me venisti, eadem abis.

  So I perceive--going away the same night you came to me!
  (_clings to him_)

Iup.
Jup.

Cur me tenes?
tempus est: exire ex urbe prius quam lucescat volo.
nunc tibi hanc pateram, quae dono mi illi ob virtutem data est,
Pterela rex qui potitavit, quem ego mea occidi manu,
Alcumena, tibi condono.

  Why do you hold me? It is time: I wish to get out of the
  city before daybreak. (_producing a golden bowl_) Here is
  the bowl they presented me for bravery on the field--the one
  King Pterelas used to drink from, whom I killed with my own
  hand--take it as a gift from me, Alcmena.

Alc.

Facis ut alias res soles.
ecastor condignum donum, qualest qui donum dedit.

  (_taking bowl eagerly_) That _is_ so like you! Oh, your gift
  just matches the giver!

Mer.

Immo sic: condignum donum, qualest cui dono datumst.

  Oh no, not the giver--that gift matches the getter.

Iup.
Jup.

Pergin autem? nonne ego possum, furcifer, te perdere?

  (_savagely_) So? At it again? Is there no choking you off,
  you jailbird? No? (_advances with upraised cane_)

Alc.

Noli amabo, Amphitruo, irasci Sosiae causa mea. 540

  (_holding him back_) Please, Amphitryon, don’t be angry with
  Sosia on my account.

Iup.
Jup.

Faciam ita ut vis.

  (_halting_) Anything you please.

Mer.

Ex amore hic admodum quam saevos est.

  (_aside_) Love has made an out-and-out savage of him.

Iup.
Jup.

Numquid vis?

  (_kissing Alcmena and turning to go_) Nothing else, then?

Alc.

Ut quom absim me ames, me tuam te absente tamen.

  This,--even though I am not near you, love me still, your
  own true wife, absent or not.

Mer.

Eamus, Amphitruo. lucescit hoc iam.

  Let’s go, sir; it is getting light already.

Iup.
Jup.

Abi prae, Sosia,
Iam ego sequar. numquid vis?

  Go ahead, Sosia; I shall be with you in a moment.
                                              [EXIT _Mercury._
  (_kisses Alcmena again and turns to go_) Nothing further?

Alc.

Etiam: ut actutum advenias.

  Yes, yes--do come back soon.

Iup.
Jup.

Licet,
prius tua opinione hic adero: bonum animum habe.
nunc te, nox, quae me mansisti, mitto uti cedas die,
ut mortalis inlucescat luce clara et candida.
atque quanto, nox, fuisti longior hac proxuma,
tanto brevior dies ut fiat faciam, ut aeque disparet.
sed dies e nocte accedat. ibo et Mercurium sequar. 550

  Indeed I will: I shall be here sooner than you think. Come,
  come, cheer up! (_embraces her and moves away_)
                            [EXIT _Alcmena_ INTO HOUSE, SADLY.
  Now, Night, who hast tarried for me, I dismiss thee: give
  place to Day, that he may shine upon mortals in radiance and
  splendour. And Night, since thou wert longer than the last,
  I shall make the day so much the shorter, that there may be
  fair adjustment. But let day issue forth from night. Now to
  follow after Mercury.                       [EXIT _Jupiter._

ACTVS II

ACT II


(_Half an hour has elapsed._)

ENTER _Amphitryon_ FOLLOWED BY _Sosia_. SLAVES WITH BAGGAGE
IN REAR.

Amph.

Age i tu secundum.

  (_to lagging Sosia_) Here you! After me, come!

Sos.

Sequor, subsequor te.

  Coming, sir! Right at your heels.

Amph.

Scelestissimum te arbitror.

  It’s my opinion you are a damned rascal.

Sos.

Nam quam ob rem?

  (_hurt_) Oh sir, why?

Amph.

Quia id quod neque est neque fuit neque futurum est
mihi praedicas.

  (_angrily_) Because what you tell me is not so, never was
  so, never will be.

Sos.

Eccere, iam tuatim
facis tu, ut tuis nulla apud te fides sit.

  See there now! Just like you--you can never trust your
  servants.

Amph.

Quid est? quo modo? iam quidem hercle ego tibi istam
scelestam, scelus, linguam abscidam.

  (_misunderstanding_) What? How is that? Well, by heaven now,
  I’ll cut out that villainous tongue for you, you villain!

Sos.

Tuos sum,
proinde ut commodumst et lubet quidque facias
tamen quin loquar haec uti facta sunt hic,
numquam ullo modo me potes deterrere. 560

  (_stubbornly_) I am yours, sir: so do anything that suits
  your convenience and taste. However, I shall tell everything
  just as it happened here, and you shall never frighten me
  out of that, never.

Amph.

Scelestissime, audes mihi praedicare id,
domi te esse nunc, qui hic ades?

  You confounded rascal, do you dare tell me you are at home
  this very minute, when you are here with me?

Sos.

Vera dico.

  It is a fact, sir.

Amph.

Malum quod tibi di dabunt, atque ego hodie
dabo.

  A fact you shall soon suffer for--the gods will see to that,
  and so will I.

Sos.

Istuc tibist in manu, nam tuos sum.

  That rests with you, sir: I am your man.

Amph.

Tun me, verbero, audes erum ludificari?
tunc id dicere audes, quod nemo umquam homo antehac
vidit nec potest fieri, tempore uno
homo idem duobus locis ut simul sit?

  You dare make fun of me, scoundrel, your master? You dare
  tell me a thing no one ever saw before, an impossible
  thing--the same man in two places at one time?

Sos.

Profecto, ut loquor res ita est.

  Really, sir, it is just as I say.

Amph.

Iuppiter te
perdat.

  Jove’s curse on you!

Sos.

Quid mali sum, ere, tua ex re promeritus? 570

  What harm have I done you to be punished, sir?

Amph.

Rogasne, improbe, etiam qui ludos facis me?

  Harm? You reprobate! Still making a joke of me, are you?

Sos.

Merito maledicas mihi, si id ita factum est.[16]
verum haud mentior, resque uti facta dico.

  You would have a right to call me names, if that was so. But
  I am not lying, sir: it happened just as I say.

Amph.

Homo hic ebrius est, ut opinor.

  The man is drunk, I do believe.

Sos.

Utinam ita essem.

  (_heartily_) Wish I was!

Amph.

Optas quae facta. 575

  (_dryly_) Your wish is already gratified.

Sos.

Egone?

  Is it?

Amph.

Tu istic. ubi bibisti?

  It is. Where did you get drink?

Sos.

Nusquam equidem bibi.

  I did not, not I, nowhere.

Amph.

Quid hoc sit 576
hominis?

  (_despairingly_) What am I to make of the fellow?

Sos.

Equidem decies dixi:
domi ego sum, inquam, ecquid audis? 577
et apud te adsum Sosia idem.
satin hoc plane, satin diserte, 578
ere, nunc videor
tibi locutus esse?

  I have told you how it is ten times over: I am at home, I
  say. Do you hear that? Yes, and I am here with you, the same
  Sosia. There sir, do you think that is putting it plainly
  enough, lucidly enough for you?

Amph.

Vah, 579
apage te a me.

  (_shoving him aside_) Bah! Get away with you.

Sos.

Quid est negoti? 580

  What is the matter?

Amph.

Pestis te tenet.

  You have the plague.

Sos.

Nam quor istuc
dicis? equidem valeo el salvos
sum recte, Amphitruo.

  Why, what do you say that for? Really, sir, I feel well,
  I am all right.

Amph.

At te ego faciam 583
hodie proinde ac meritus es,
ut minus valeas et miser sis, 584a
salvos domum si rediero: iam 584b
sequere sis, erum qui ludificas 585a
dictis delirantibus, 585b

  But I shall soon see you get your deserts: you will not feel
  so well, you will be wretched enough, once I get back home
  all right. Be so good as to follow me, you that make a butt
  of your master with your idiotic drivel.

qui quoniam erus quod imperavit neglexisti persequi,
nunc venis etiam ultro inrisum dominum: quae neque fieri
possunt neque fando umquam accepit quisquam profers, carnifex;
quoius ego hodie in tergum faxo ista expetant mendacia.

  Seeing you neglected to carry out your master’s orders, you
  now have the effrontery to come and laugh at him, to boot,--
  with your tales of what can never happen, what no man ever
  heard of, you rapscallion. By heaven, those lies of yours
  shall fall on your own back, I promise you!

Sos.

Amphitruo, miserrima istaec miseria est servo bono, 590
apud erum qui vera loquitur, si id vi verum vincitur.

  (_plaintively_) It is hard, sir, horribly hard, on a
  good servant that tells his master plain facts to have his
  facts confuted by a flogging.

Amph.

Quo id, malum, pacto potest nam--mecum argumentis puta--
fieri, nunc uti tu et hic sis et domi? id dici volo.

  Curse it! How in the world is it possible--argue it out with
  me--for you to be here now, and at home, too? Tell me that,
  will you?

Sos.

Sum profecto et hic et illic. hoc cuivis mirari licet,
neque tibi istuc mirum[17] magis videtur quam mihi.

  I am here and I am there, I positively am. I don’t care who
  wonders at it: it is no more wonderful to you than it is to
  me, sir.

Amph.

Quo modo?

  How is that?

Sos.

Nihilo, inquam, mirum magis tibi istuc quam mihi;
neque, ita me di ament, credebam primo mihimet Sosiae,
donec Sosia illic egomet fecit sibi uti crederem.
ordine omne, uti quicque actum est, dum apud hostis sedimus,
edissertavit. tum formam una abstulit cum nomine. 600
neque lac lactis magis est simile quam ille ego similest mei.
nam ut dudum ante lucem a portu me praemisisti domum--

  I say it is not a bit more wonderful to you than to me.
  So help me heaven, I didn’t believe my own self, Sosia, at
  first, not till that other Sosia, myself, made me believe
  him. He reeled off every thing just as it happened while we
  were on the field there with the enemy; and besides, he had
  stolen my looks along with my name. One drop of milk is no
  more like another than that I is like me. Why, when you sent
  me ahead home from the harbour before dawn a while ago--

Amph.

Quid igitur?

  What then?

Sos.

Prius multo ante aedis stabam quam illo adveneram.

  I was standing in front of the house long before I got
  there.

Amph.

Quas, malum, nugas? satin tu sanus es?

  What confounded rubbish! Are you actually in your senses?

Sos.

Sic sum ut vides.

  You can see for yourself I am.

Amph.

Huic homini nescio quid est mali mala obiectum manu,
postquam a me abiit.

  The fellow is bewitched somehow: the evil hand has been laid
  on him since he left me.

Sos.

Fateor, nam sum obtusus pugnis pessume.

  Right you are! Evil? The way I got beaten to jelly was
  damned evil.

Amph.

Quis te verberavit?

  Who was it beat you?

Sos.

Egomet memet, qui nunc sum domi.

  I beat myself--the I that is at home now.

Amph.

Cave quicquam, nisi quod rogabo te, mihi responderis.
omnium primum iste qui sit Sosia, hoc dici volo.

  Mind now, not a word but what I ask you. In the first place,
  I wish to be informed who that Sosia is.

Sos.

Tuos est servos.

  Your own slave.

Amph.

Mihi quidem uno te plus etiam est quam volo, 610
neque postquam sum natus habui nisi te servom Sosiam.

  As a matter of fact, I have one too many in you already, and
  never in my life did I own a slave named Sosia except
  yourself.

Sos.

At ego nunc, Amphitruo, dico: Sosiam servom tuom
praeter me alterum, inquam, adveniens faciam ut offendas domi,
Davo prognatum patre eodem quo ego sum, forma, aetate item
qua ego sum. quid opust verbis? geminus Sosia hic factust tibi.

  Well sir, you mark my words now: I warrant you you will come
  upon a second servant Sosia of yours besides me when you
  reach home, yes sir, one whose father was Davus the same
  as mine, and who is just like me and just my age, too. Enough
  said, sir. Sosia has twinned here for you.

Amph.

Nimia memoras mira. sed vidistin uxorem meam?

  (_impressed_) Strange, very strange indeed! But did you see
  my wife?

Sos.

Quin intro ire in aedis numquam licitum est.

  Why, sir, never a foot was I allowed to put in the house.

Amph.

Quis te prohibuit?

  Who hindered you?

Sos.

Sosia ille, quem iam dudum dico, is qui me contudit.

  That Sosia I have been telling of all along, the one that
  smashed me up.

Amph.

Quis istic Sosia est?

  Who is that Sosia?

Amph.

Ego, inquam. quotiens dicendum est tibi?

  I am, I say. How many times do you need to be told?

Amph.

Sed quid ais? num obdormivisti dudum?

  (_reflecting_) But look here, you were not asleep a while
  ago, were you?

Sos.

Nusquam gentium. 620

  Not a bit of it, sir.

Amph.

Ibi forte istum si vidisses quendam in somnis Sosiam--

  Then perhaps, if you had seen that, well, that Sosia of
  yours in your dreams--

Sos.

Non soleo ego somniculose eri imperia persequi.
vigilans vidi, vigilans nunc te video, vigilans fabulor,
vigilantem ille me iam dudum vigilans pugnis contudit.

  I don’t do my master’s orders drowsily. Wide awake I was,
  eyes open; I am wide awake with ’em open on you now; I am
  wide awake telling my story; and I was wide awake when he
  hammered me a while back, yes, and (_ruefully_) he was
  wide awake.

Amph.

Quis homo?

  Who?

Sos.

Sosia, inquam, ego ille. quaeso, nonne intellegis?

  Sosia, I tell you, that me. Pray do not you understand?

Amph.

Qui, malum, intellegere quisquam potis est? ita nugas blatis.

  How the devil can any man understand? Such stuff and
  nonsense!

Sos.

Verum actutum nosces, quom illum nosces servom Sosiam.

  (_significantly_) Well, you will know what I mean very
  soon, once you know that servant Sosia.

Amph.

Sequere hac igitur me,
nam mi istuc primum exquisito est opus.[18] (628)

  (_going toward house_) Come then, this way. This matter
  needs my investigation first of all. (_stops to examine
  house from distance and talks with Sosia_)

II. 2.

Scene 2.

ENTER _Alcmena_ INTO DOORWAY.

Alc.

Satin parva res est voluptatum in vita atque in aetate agunda 633
praequam quod molestum est? ita cuique comparatum est in
aetate hominum;
ita divis est placitum, voluptatem ut maeror comes consequatur:
quin incommodi plus malique ilico adsit, boni si optigit quid.

  Oh, are not the pleasures in life, in this daily round,
  trifling compared with the pains! It is our common
  human lot, it is heaven’s will, for sorrow to come
  following after joy: yes, yes, and to have a larger share of
  trouble and distress the moment something nice has happened.

nam ego id nunc experior domo atque ipsa de me scio, cui voluptas
parumper datast, dum viri mei mihi potestas videndi fuit
noctem unam modo; atque is repente abiit a me hinc ante lucem.
sola hic mihi nunc videor, quia ille hinc abest quem ego amo
praeter omnes. 640
plus aegri ex abitu viri, quam ex adventu voluptatis cepi.

  Ah, I am learning this now at first hand, learning it of my
  own experience--a few short hours of happiness, allowed to
  see my husband for just one night; and then away he goes all
  of a sudden before daylight! It does seem so lonely here
  now, when the one I love best is gone. I have felt more
  unhappy at his going than happy at his coming.

sed hoc me beat
saltem, quom perduellis vicit et domum laudis compos revenit:
id solacio est.
absit, dum modo laude parta
domum recipiat se; feram et perferam usque
abitum eius animo forti atque offirmato, id modo si mercedis
datur mi, ut meus victor vir belli clueat.

  But there is thus much to be thankful for, at least: he has
  been victorious and come home a hero--that is one comfort.
  He may leave me, if only he returns to me with a glorious
  name: I will bear his going, yes, and keep on bearing it
  to the end firmly and unflinchingly, only let me have the
  reward of hearing my husband hailed conqueror.

satis mi esse ducam.
virtus praemium est optimum;
virtus omnibus rebus anteit profecto:
libertas salus vita res et parentes, patria et prognati 650
tutantur, servantur:
virtus omnia in sese habet, omnia adsunt
bona quem penest virtus

  That is enough for me! Courage is the very best gift of all;
  courage stands before everything, it does, it does! It is
  what maintains and preserves our liberty, safety, life, and
  our homes and parents, our country and children. Courage
  comprises all things: a man with courage has every blessing.

Amph.

Edepol me uxori exoptatum credo adventurum domum,
quae me amat, quam contra amo, praesertim re gesta bene,
victis hostibus. quos nemo posse superari ratust,
eos auspicio meo atque ductu primo coetu vicimus
certe enim med illi expectatum optato venturum scio.

  By Jove, my wife will certainly be delighted to have me
  home--loving each other as we do! Especially now that we
  have been successful, and the enemy, that every one thought
  invincible, beaten, beaten at the first set-to under my
  auspices and leadership. Ah yes, my arrival will
  surely be a very welcome event to her.

Sos.

Quid? me non rere expectatum amicae venturum meae?

  What? And don’t you think mine is going to be welcome to my
  lady friend?

Alc.

Meus vir hic quidem est.

  (_seeing them_) Why, here is my husband!

Amph.

Sequere hac tu me.

  (_to Sosia_) Here you, this way! (_goes on toward house_)

Alc.

Nam quid ille revortitur, 660
qui dudum properare se aibat? an ille me temptat sciens
atque id se volt experiri, suom abitum ut desiderem?
ecastor med haud invita se domum recipit suam.

  (_aside_) What in the world is he back for so soon after
  saying he must hurry off! Is he trying me on purpose, does
  he want to test how much I miss him when he goes? Bless his
  heart, I have no objection to his coming home again!

Sos.

Amphitruo, redire ad navem meliust nos.

  (_seeing her_) We had better make for the ship once more,
  sir.

Amph.

Qua gratia?

  Why?

Sos.

Quia domi daturus nemo est prandium advenientibus

  No one at home is going to give the new arrivals a
  breakfast, that is why.

Amph.

Qui tibi nunc istuc in mentemst?

  And how does that thought happen to occur to you?

Sos.

Quia enim sero advenimus.

  Because we’ve come too late.

Amph.

Qui?

  How so?

Sos.

Quia Alcumenam ante aedis stare saturam intellego.

  (_pointing_) Well, there’s mistress in front of the house,
  and she has a sort of well-fed look about her.

Amph.

Gravidam ego illanc hic reliqui, quom abeo.

  I had hopes when I went away, Sosia, of being made a father.

Sos.

Ei perii miser.

  Heaven help me!

Amph.

Quid tibi est?

  What is the matter?

Sos.

Ad aquam praebendam commodum adveni domum,
decumo post mense, ut rationem te putare intellego 670

  (_disgustedly_) I have got home exactly in time to draw the
  water: it is the tenth month since, according as I follow
  your reckoning.

Amph.

Bono animo es.

  (_laughing_) Cheer up, cheer up!

Sos.

Scin quam bono animo sim? si situlam cepero,
numquam edepol tu mihi divini creduis post hunc diem,
ni ego illi puteo, si occepso, animam omnem inter traxero.

  Know how cheerful I am, do you, sir? Let me get hold of a
  bucket, and by gad, don’t ever trust my sacred oath again,
  if I do not drain that well of its last breath, once I
  begin.

Amph.

Sequere hac me modo, alium ego isti rei allegabo, ne time.

Come now, this way with me. (moves toward house again)
I will appoint some one else to that office, never fear.

Alc.

Magis nunc me meum officium facere, si huic eam advorsum, arbitror.

  (_aside_) I suppose it would be more duteous of me to go to
  meet him. (_advances slowly_)

Amph.

Amphitruo uxorem salutat laetus speratam suam,
quam omnium Thebis vir unam esse optimam diiudicat,
quamque adeo cives Thebani vero rumiferant probam.
valuistin usque? exspectatum advenio?

  (_with playful courtliness_) Gladly does Amphitryon greet
  his darling wife, whom her husband judges to be the one
  best lady in all Thebes; yea, and justly do the citizens of
  Thebes bruit her virtue. (_earnestly_) Have you been well
  all this time? Are you glad to see me?

Sos.

Haud vidi magis.
exspectatum eum salutat magis haud quicquam quam canem. 680

  (_aside_) Glad? None more so! Welcomes him about as warmly
  as she would a dog!

Amph.

Et quom te[19] gravidam et quom te pulchre plenam aspicio, gaudeo.

  Ah, it is splendid to see your condition, dear, and to see
  you getting on so finely.

Alc.

Obsecro ecastor, quid tu me deridiculi gratia
sic salutas atque appellas, quasi dudum non videris
quasique nunc primum recipias te domum huc ex hostibus?[20] (684)

  Good gracious! Why are you making fun of me with all these
  greetings and salutations, as if you had not seen me a
  little while ago and were just this moment back from the
  war?

Amph.

Immo equidem te nisi nunc hodie nusquam vidi gentium. (686)

  (_surprised_) Why, why, but I have not seen you--no,
  nowhere at all except this very instant.

Alc.

Cur negas?

  What makes you deny it?

Amph.

Quia vera didici dicere.

  Because I have learned to tell the truth.

Alc.

Haud aequom facit
qui quod didicit id dediscit. an periclitamini
quid animi habeam? sed quid huc vos revortimini tam cito?
an te auspicium commoratum est an tempestas continet 690
qui non abiisti ad legiones, ita uti dudum dixeras?

  It is not a good plan to learn a thing and then unlearn it.
  Or is this a test of my feelings? But why are you returning
  so quickly? Were you delayed by bad omens, or is it the
  weather detains you, that you have not gone away to the
  army, as you spoke of doing a little while ago?

Amph.

Dudum? quam dudum istuc factum est?

  A little while ago? How little a while ago was that?

Alc.

Temptas. iam dudum, modo.

  Tease! Oh, quite a little while ago--just now.

Amph.

Qui istuc potis est fieri, quaeso, ut dicis: iam dudum, modo?

  For heaven’s sake, how can those statements agree--“quite a
  little while ago” and “just now”?

Alc.

Quid enim censes? te ut deludam contra lusorem meum,
qui nunc primum te advenisse dicas, modo qui hinc abieris.

  Well, how do you suppose? I am merely trying to make game of
  you for a change, after your making game of me by saying
  this is your first appearance here, when you just now left
  us.

Amph.

Haec quidem deliramenta loquitur.

  (_to Sosia_) Upon my soul, she is raving!

Sos.

Paulisper mane,
dum edormiscat unum somnum.

  Wait a while till she has slept out just one sleep.

Amph.

Quaene vigilans somniat?

What, awake and dreaming?

Alc.

Equidem ecastor vigilo, et vigilans id quod factum est fabulor.
nam dudum ante lucem et istunc et te vidi.

  (_indignantly_) To be sure I am awake, and awake as I
  relate what happened. Why, just a little while ago before
  dawn I saw that man and you, both.

Amph.

Quo in loco?

  Where was this?

Alc.

Hic in aedibus ubi tu habitas.

  Here in your very own house, sir.

Amph.

Numquam factum est.

  Impossible!

Sos.

Non taces? 700
quid si e portu navis huc nos dormientis detulit?

  Hush, sir, hush! What if the ship carried us here from the
  harbour in our sleep?

Amph.

Etiam tu quoque adsentaris huic?

  Ha! you are siding with her too, are you?

Sos.

Quid vis fieri?
non tu scis? Bacchae bacchanti si velis advorsarier,
ex insana insaniorem facies, feriet saepius;
si obsequare, una resolvas plaga.

  (_wisely_) Well, what do you want? Don’t you understand? You
  but cross a Bacchante when the Bacchic frenzy fills her, and
  you’ll make the crazy thing crazier still and she’ll hit you
  all the more: humour her, and she’ll call it quits after one
  blow.

Amph.

At pol qui certa res
hanc est obiurgare, quae me hodie advenientem domum
noluerit salutare.

  Humour her? By the Lord, it will be bad humour, that’s
  sure,--arriving home to-day and she unwilling to give me a
  decent welcome!

Sos.

Inritabis crabrones.

  You’ll be poking up a hornet’s nest.

Amph.

Tace.
Alcumena, unum rogare te volo.

  Silence! (_to Alcmena, sternly_) Alcmena, there is
  something I wish to ask you.

Alc.

Quid vis roga.

  Anything you please.

Amph.

Num tibi aut stultitia accessit aut superat superbia?

  Are you obsessed by some foolish notion, or is this pride
  running away with you?

Alc.

Qui istuc in mentemst tibi ex me, mi vir, percontarier? 710

  What makes it enter your head to ask me such a question, my
  husband?

Amph.

Quia salutare advenientem me solebas antidhac,
appellare, itidem ut pudicae suos viros quae sunt solent.
eo more expertem te factam adveniens offendi domi.

  Because till to-day you used to welcome me on my arrival
  and greet me as modest wives generally do their husbands.
  Yet here I come home to find you have dropped the habit.

Alc.

Ecastor equidem te certo heri advenientem ilico,
et salutavi et valuissesne usque exquisivi simul,
mi vir, et manum prehendi et osculum tetuli tibi.

  Why mercy me, when you came home yesterday I certainly did
  welcome you the moment you appeared, and asked you in the
  same breath if you had been well all the time, and seized
  your hand and gave you a kiss.

Sos.

Tun heri hunc salutavisti?

  Welcomed him yesterday, did you?

Alc.

Et te quoque etiam, Sosia.

  Yes, and you, too, Sosia.

Sos.

Amphitruo, speravi ego istam tibi parituram filium;
verum non est puero gravida.

  Sir, I hoped she was going to bear you a son; but it’s no
  child she’s got.

Amph.

Quid igitur?

  What, then?

Sos.

Insania.

  A crazy streak.

Alc.

Equidem sana sum et deos quaeso, ut salva pariam filium. 720
verum tu malum magnum habebis, si his suom officium facit:
ob istuc omen, ominator, capies quod te condecet.

  (_angrily_) Indeed I have not, and I pray heaven I may
  safely bear a son. But you, sir, shall have an ample supply
  of aches and pains, if your master here does his duty! You
  shall be well rewarded for that omen, Sir Omener.

Sos.

Enim vero praegnati oportet et malum et malum dari,
ut quod obrodat sit, animo si male esse occeperit.

  Really now, ma’am, it’s a lady in your condition ought to
  have aches and pains, yes, and an apple supply, too, so as
  to have something to chew on in case she gets to feeling
  seedy.

Amph.

Tu me heri hic vidisti?

  You saw me here yesterday?

Alc.

Ego, inquam, si vis decies dicere.

  Yes, I,--if you must be told ten times over.

Amph.

In somnis fortasse?

  In your sleep, perhaps?

Alc.

Immo vigilans vigilantem.

  No, no, awake,--and you were awake, too.

Amph.

Ei misero mihi.

  Oh, this is terrible, terrible!

Sos.

Quid tibi est?

  What ails you?

Amph.

Delirat uxor.

  My wife is raving!

Sos.

Atra bili percita est.
nulla res tam delirantis homines concinnat cito.

  Bilious attack, sir, black bile. There’s nothing sets ’em
  raving so soon.

Amph.

Ubi primum tibi sensisti, mulier, impliciscier?

  When did you first feel it coming on, woman?

Alc.

Equidem ecastor sana et salva sum.

  Goodness me! I’m perfectly sane and sound.

Amph.

Quor igitur praedicas, 730
te heri me vidisse, qui hac noctu in portum advecti sumus?
ibi cenavi atque ibi quievi in navi noctem perpetem,
neque meum pedem huc intuli etiam in aedis, ut cum exercitu
hinc profectus sum ad Teloboas hostis eosque ut vicimus.

  Then why are you declaring you saw me yesterday, when we
  reached port last night? I took dinner there and spent the
  whole livelong night there on board my ship, and I have not
  set foot in this house from the time I and my troops started
  on our campaign against the Teloboians and conquered them.

Alc.

Immo mecum cenavisti et mecum cubuisti.

  The idea! You had dinner with me and went to bed with me.

Amph.

Quid est?

  What?

Alc.

Vera dico.

  I tell you the truth, sir.

Amph.

Non de hac quidem hercle re; de aliis nescio.

  Good God! Not in that, anyhow: about other matters I can’t
  say.

Alc.

Primulo diluculo abiisti ad legiones.

  And at the very break of day you went away to the army.

Amph.

Quo modo?

  How’s that?

Sos.

Recte dicit, ut commeminit: somnium narrat tibi.
sed, mulier, postquam experrecta es, te prodigiali Iovi
aut mola salsa hodie aut ture comprecatam oportuit. 740

  Quite straight, sir, as far as her memory goes: she’s giving
  you her dream. But I say, ma’am, this morning after you woke
  up you ought to have taken some salted cakes, or incense,
  and prayed to Jove--he has charge of prodigies.

Alc.

Vae capiti tuo.

  Oh confound you, sir!

Sos.

Tua istuc refert--si curaveris.

  (_innocently_) That would do you good, ma’am--if you
  would see to it.

Alc.

Iterum iam hic in me inclementer dicit, atque id sine malo.

  There he is, rude to me again, and not suffering for it!

Amph.

Tace tu. tu dic: egone abs te abii hinc hodie cum diluculo?

  (_to Sosia_) Keep still, you! (_to Alcmena_) And you--I left
  you this morning at daybreak, did I?

Alc.

Quis igitur nisi vos narravit mi, illi ut fuerit proelium?

  Why, who else but you two told me how the battle there went?

Amph.

An etiam id tu scis?

  You don’t mean to say you know about that?

Alc.

Quippe qui ex te audivi, ut urbem maximam
expugnavisses regemque Pterelam tute occideris.

  Naturally, since I heard from your own lips how you took
  that great city and killed King Pterelas yourself.

Amph.

Egone istuc dixi?

  I told you that, I?

Alc.

Tute istic, etiam adstante hoc Sosia.

  Yes, you yourself,--with Sosia here standing by, too.

Amph.

Audivistin tu me narrare haec hodie?

  (_to Sosia_) Have you ever heard me say a word of this?

Sos.

Ubi ego audiverim?

  Heard you? Where?

Amph.

Hanc roga.

  (_sullenly_) Ask her.

Sos.

Me quidem praesente numquam factum est, quod sciam.

  You never did so far as I know, leastways with me at hand.

Alc.

Mirum quin te adversus dicat.

  (_ironically_) It is strange he declines to contradict his
  own master.

Amph.

Sosia, age me huc aspice. 750

  Sosia, here! Look me in the eye.

Sos.

Specto.

  (_obeying_) Very good, sir.

Amph.

Vera volo loqui te, nolo adsentari mihi.
audivistin tu hodie me illi dicere ea quae illa autumat?

  What I want from you is the truth, no obsequiousness. Did
  you ever hear me utter a syllable of what she says?

Sos.

Quaeso edepol, num tu quoque etiam insanis, quom id me interrogas,
qui ipsus equidem nunc primum istanc tecum conspicio simul?

  Well, upon my word, I should like to ask if you are not
  crazy yourself, asking me a question like that--and I just
  this minute setting eyes on her for the first time along
  with you?

Amph.

Quid nunc, mulier? audin illum?

  What now, madam? Do you hear him?

Alc.

Ego vero, ac falsum dicere.

  To be sure I do--telling lies.

Amph.

Neque tu illi neque mihi viro ipsi credis?

  You won’t believe him, or me, your own husband, either?

Alc.

Eo fit quia mihi
plurimum credo et scio istaec facta proinde ut proloquor.

  That is only because I believe myself most of all, and I
  know everything occurred just as I tell you.

Amph.

Tun me heri advenisse dicis?

  And you say that I arrived yesterday?

Alc.

Tun te abiisse hodie hinc negas?

  And you deny that you left to-day?

Amph.

Nego enim vero, et me advenire nunc primum aio ad te domum.

  Deny it? Of course I do. And I say I’m just now coming home
  to you for the first time.

Alc.

Obsecro, etiamne hoc negabis, te auream pateram mihi 760
dedisse dono hodie, qua te illi donatum esse dixeras?

  And will you deny this, too, pray,--that you gave me the
  golden bowl to-day that was presented to you there, as you
  said?

Amph.

Neque edepol dedi neque dixi; verum ita animatus fui
itaque nunc sum, ut ea te patera donem. sed quis istuc tibi dixit?

  By heaven! I neither gave it nor said it. But I did intend
  to make you a gift of that bowl, and do still. Who told you
  of that, though?

Alc.

Ego equidem ex te audivi et ex tua accepi manu pateram.

  Why, I heard about it from your own lips and received the
  bowl from your own hand.

Amph.

Mane, mane, obsecro te. nimis demiror, Sosia,
qui illaec illic me donatum esse aurea patera sciat,
nisi tu dudum hanc convenisti et narravisti haec omnia.

  One moment, please, one moment! (_turning to Sosia_) It
  is very extraordinary. Sosia, how she knows I was presented
  with a golden bowl there, unless you met her a while ago
  yourself and told her the whole story.

Sos.

Neque edepol ego dixi neque istam vidi nisi tecum simul.

  By gad, sir, I never told her, no, nor saw her, except here
  with you.

Amph.

Quid hoc sit hominis?

  (_helplessly_) What sort of a creature have I got here?

Alc.

Vin proferri pateram?

  Would you like to have the bowl brought?

Amph.

Proferri volo.

  Indeed I should.

Alc.

Fiat heus tu, Thessala, intus pateram proferto foras, 770
qua hodie meus vir donavit me.

  Very well. (_calling to maid within_) Ho, there! Thessala,
  bring out the bowl my husband gave me to day.

Amph.

Secede huc tu, Sosia,
enim vero illud praeter alia mira miror maxime,
si haec habet pateram illam.

  Sosia! Come over here. (_they withdraw somewhat_) Upon my
  soul, it will be the most astounding of all these astounding
  circumstances, if she has that.

Sos.

An etiam credis id, quae in hac cistellula
tuo signo obsignata fertur?

  Do you really believe that, sir, when I’ve got it in this
  little chest here, sealed with your own signet?

Amph.

Salvom signum est?

  Is the seal intact?

Sos.

Inspice.

  (_showing chest_) Look and see.

Amph.

Recte, ita est ut obsignavi.

  (_doing so_) It is all right--just as I sealed it.

Sos.

Quaeso, quin tu istanc iubes
pro cerrita circumferri?

  For heaven’s sake, why don’t you have her treated for
  lunacy?

Amph.

Edepol qui facto est opus;
nam haec quidem edepol larvarum plenast.

  By Jove, so I should! Why, bless my soul, she’s full of evil
  spirits!

  ENTER _Thessala_ WITH BOWL.

Alc.

Quid verbis opust?
em tibi pateram, eccam.

  Are you satisfied, sir? There! Your bowl, see!

Amph.

Cedo mi.

  (_dumbfounded_) Give it here!

Alc.

Age aspice huc sis nunciam
tu qui quae facta infitiare, quem ego iam hic convincam palam
estne haec patera qua donatu’s illi?

  Come now, be so good as to look at it, you that do a thing
  and then disown it. I shall refute you plainly, sir, here
  and now. Is this the bowl which they presented to you there,
  or not?

Amph.

Summe Iuppiter, 780
quid ego video? haec ea est profecto patera. perii, Sosia.

  (_taking it_) Jove almighty! What do I see? The
  selfsame bowl, it is, it is! This is frightful, Sosia!

Sos.

Aut pol haec praestigiatrix multo mulier maxima est
aut pateram hic inesse oportet.

  By gad, she’s either the greatest enchantress alive, easily,
  or the bowl must be inside here. (_pointing to chest_)

Amph.

Agedum, exsolve cistulam.

  Come, come, unfasten the chest!

Sos.

Quid ego istam exsolvam? obsignatast recte, res gesta est bene:
tu peperisti Amphitruonem, ego alium peperi Sosiam;
nunc si patera pateram peperit, omnes congeminavimus.

  Unfasten it? Why? It’s sealed all right, everything is
  shipshape. You have spawned another Amphitryon; I have
  spawned another Sosia; now if the bowl has spawned another
  bowl, we’ve all doubled.

Amph.

Certum est aperire atque inspicere.

  I’m resolved: it must be opened and inspected.

Sos.

Vide sis signi quid siet,
ne posterius in me culpam conferas.

  You please take a look at the seal, sir, so that you won’t
  blame me later.

Amph.

Aperi modo;
nam haec quidem nos delirantis facere dictis postulat.

  (_looking_) Yes, yes, open up! Why, the woman is bent on
  driving us mad with her talk.

Alc.

Unde haec igitur est nisi abs te quae mihi dono data est? 790

  Where did this come from, then, if not as a present from you?

Amph.

Opus mi est istuc exquisito.

  (_curtly_) This matter needs my investigation.

Sos.

Iuppiter, pro Iuppiter.

  (_busy with chest_) By Jove! Oh, by Jove!

Amph.

Quid tibi est?

  (_excited_) What is it?

Sos.

Hic patera nulla in cistulast.

  There’s no bowl in the chest here at all!

Amph.

Quid ego audio?

  What’s that you say?

Sos.

Id quod verumst.

  It’s the honest truth.

Amph.

At cum cruciatu iam, nisi apparet, tuo.

  But your skin shall soon pay for it, if it’s not forthcoming.

Alc.

Haec quidem apparet.

  This one is forthcoming, at any rate.

Amph.

Quis igitur tibi dedit?

  (_roughly_) Who gave it you, then?

Alc.

Qui me rogat.

  (_calmly_) My questioner.

Sos.

Me captas, quia tute ab navi clanculum huc alia via
praecucurristi, atque hinc pateram tute exemisti atque eam
huic dedisti, post hanc rursum obsignasti clanculum.

  (_to Amphitryon_) Trying to catch me! The fact is you ran on
  ahead from the ship yourself by another road on the sly, and
  took the bowl out yourself, and gave it to her, and then
  sealed up the chest again on the sly.

Amph.

Ei mihi, iam tu quoque huius adiuvas insaniam?
an heri nos advenisse huc?

  Oh, ye gods! So now you are abetting her delusions, too!
  (_to Alcmena, with forced calmness_) We came here yesterday,
  you say?

Alc.

Aio, adveniensque ilico
me salutavisti, et ego te, et osculum tetuli tibi. 800

  Yes, and the moment you arrived you greeted me, and I you,
  and I gave you a kiss.

Sos.

Iam illud non placet principium de osculo.

  Now I don’t like that, that beginning with a kiss!

Amph.

Perge exsequi.

  Go on, go on!

Alc.

Lavisti.

  Then you bathed.

Amph.

Quid postquam lavi?

  And after bathing?

Alc.

Accubuisti.

  You took your place on the dining couch.

Sos.

Euge optime,
nunc exquire.

    Bravo, sir! Great work! Now get to the bottom of it.

Amph.

Ne interpella. perge porro dicere.

  (_to Sosia_) No interruptions! (_to Alcmena_) Go on with
  your story.

Alc.

Cena adposita est, cenavisti mecum, ego accubui simul.

  Dinner was served: we dined together: I took my place on the
  couch, too.

Amph.

In eodem lecto?

  The same couch?

Alc.

In eodem.

  Surely.

Sos.

Ei, non placet convivium.

  Oho! This banqueting looks bad!

Amph.

Sine modo argumenta dicat. quid postquam cenavimus?

  (_to Sosia_) That will do. Let her state her case. (_to
  Alcmena_) What after we dined?

Alc.

Te dormitare aibas, mensa ablata est. cubitum hinc abiimus.

  You said you were sleepy: the table was removed: we went off
  to bed.

Amph.

Ubi tu cubuisti?

  Where did you sleep?

Alc.

In eodem lecto tecum una in cubiculo.

  Why, with you, in our room.

Amph.

Perdidisti.

  Oh, my God!

Sos.

Quid tibi est?

  What ails you?

Amph.

Haec me modo ad mortem dedit.

  She has killed me, killed me!

Alc.

Quid iam, amabo?

  Why, my dear man, what do you mean?

Amph.

Ne me appella.

  (_furiously_) Don’t speak to me!

Sos.

Quid tibi est?

  What ails you?

Amph.

Perii miser, 810
quia pudicitiae huius vitium me hinc absente est additum.

  Oh, God help me! She’s been seduced while I was gone!

Alc.

Obsecro ecastor, cur istuc, mi vir, ex ted audio?

  Good heavens! For mercy’s sake how can you say such a thing,
  my dear husband?

Amph.

Vir ego tuos sim? ne me appella, falsa, falso nomine.

  Am I your husband? Oh, you false wretch, none of your false
  names for me!

Sos

Haeret haec res, si quidem haec iam mulier facta est ex viro.

  Here’s a pretty mess, if he is turned into a woman and is
  not her husband!

Alc

Quid ego feci, qua istaec propter dicta dicantur mihi?

  What have I done to be talked to like that?

Amph.

Tute edictas facta tua, ex me quaeris quid deliqueris.

  You have recounted your doings yourself--and you ask me what
  the harm is!

Alc

Quid ego tibi deliqui, si, cum nupta sum, tecum fui?

  Pray tell me what I have done in being with you, the man I
  married?

Amph.

Tun mecum fueris? quid illac impudente audacius?
saltem, tute si pudoris egeas, sumas mutuom.

  You with me? Of all brazen shamelessness! You might at least
  borrow some sense of decency, if you have none of your own!

Alc.

Istuc facinus, quod tu insimulas, nostro generi non decet. 820
tu si me inpudicitiai captas, capere non potes.

  Such behaviour as you accuse me of does not become members
  of my family, sir. Angle for me if you wish, you cannot
  catch me in such unspeakable conduct.

Amph.

Pro di immortales, cognoscin tu me saltem, Sosia?

  Great God! You know me, anyhow, Sosia, don’t you?

Sos

Propemodum.

  Well, rather!

Amph.

Cenavin ego heri in navi in portu Persico?

  Didn’t I dine yesterday on shipboard at Port Persicus?

Alc.

Mihi quoque adsunt testes, qui illud quod ego dicam adsentiant.

  Yes, and I too have witnesses to corroborate what I say.

Sos.

Nescio quid istuc negoti dicam, nisi si quispiam est
Amphitruo alius, qui forte ted hinc absenti tamen
tuam rem curet teque absente hic munus fungatur tuom.
nam quod de illo subditivo Sosia mirum nimis,
certe de istoc Amphitruone iam alterum mirum est magis.

  I can’t puzzle it out, sir, unless there’s some other
  Amphitryon to manage your business, no matter if you are
  away, and to do your job for you when you have gone. I tell
  you what, that sham Sosia was monstrous surprising, but this
  second Amphitryon is certainly more so.

Amph.

Nescio quis praestigiator hanc frustratur mulierem. 830

  Some magician or other has bedevilled the woman!

Alc.

Per supremi regis regnum iuro et matrem familias
Iunonem, quam me vereri et metuere est par maxume,
ut mi extra unum te mortalis nemo corpus corpore
contigit, quo me impudicam faceret.

  (_slowly and impressively_) I swear by the kingdom of the
  King on high and by Juno, the matron goddess I most should
  reverence and fear--so may she bless me as no mortal man,
  save you only, has taken me to him as a wife.

Amph.

Vera istaec velim.

  Ah, I wish it was the truth!

Alc.

Vera dico, sed nequiquam, quoniam non vis credere.

  It is the truth, but what of that, when you refuse to
  believe me!

Amph.

Mulier es, audacter iuras.

  You’re a woman; you swear boldly.

Alc.

Quae non deliquit, decet
audacem esse, confidenter pro se et proterve loqui.

  A woman who has done nothing wrong ought to be bold, yes,
  and self confident and forward in her own defence.

Amph.

Satis audacter.

  Bold, with a vengeance!

Alc.

Ut pudicam decet.

  As innocence should be.

Amph.

Enim verbis proba’s.[21]

  Yes, you’re immaculate as far as talk goes.

Alc.

Non ego illam mihi dotem duco esse, quae dos dicitur,
sed pudicitiam et pudorem et sedatum cupidinem, 840
deum metum, parentum amorem et cognatum concordiam,
tibi morigera atque ut munifica sim bonis, prosim probis.

  (_quietly_) Personally I do not feel that my dowry is that
  which people call a dowry, but purity and honour and self
  control, fear of God, love of parents, and affection for
  my family, and being a dutiful wife to you, sir, lavish of
  loving-kindness and helpful through honest service.

Sos.

Ne ista edepol, si haec vera loquitur, examussim est optima.

  My word! She’s a regular pattern of perfection, if she’s
  telling the truth.

Amph.

Delenitus sum profecto ita, ut me qui sim nesciam.

  Upon my soul, I have been so bewitched I don’t know who I
  am!

Sos.

Amphitruo es profecto, cave sis ne tu te usu perduis:
ita nunc homines immutantur, postquam peregre advenimus.

  You’re Amphitryon right enough, sir--but just look out you
  don’t lose your title to yourself by limitation, the way
  folks are getting changed about these days since we came
  back from abroad.

Amph.

Mulier, istam rem inquisitam certum est non amittere.

  (_to Alcmena, sternly_) This matter shall not escape
  investigation, madam, I am resolved on that.

Alc.

Edepol me libente facies.

  Dear me, sir, do investigate, and welcome!

Amph.

Quid ais? responde mihi.
quid si adduco tuom cognatum huc ab navi Naucratem,
qui mecum una vectust una navi, atque is si denegat 850
facta quae tu facta dicis, quid tibi aequom est fieri?
numquid causam dicis, quin te hoc multem matrimionio?

  See here, answer me this--what if I bring your own relative,
  Naucrates, over from the ship? He made the voyaage with me
  on the same vessel--now if he denies that I did as you say
  what do you deserve? Have you any reason to give that I
  should not divorce you?

Alc.

Si deliqui, nulla causa est.

  None, if I have done wrong.

Amph.

Convenit. tu, Sosia,
duc hos intro. ego huc ab navi mecum adducam Naucratem.

  Agreed! (_turning to Sosia_) Sosia, take these fellows in.
  (_pointing to slaves with luggage_) I will bring Naucrates
  here from the ship. (_Sosia sends slaves inside_)
                                           [EXIT _Amphitryon_.

Sos.

Nunc quidem praeter nos nemo est. dic mihi verum serio:
ecquis alius Sosia intust, qui mei similis siet?

  (_to Alcmena, confidentially_) Now then, ma’am, no one’s
  here besides us. (_elaborately makes sure of it_) Do be
  serious and tell me the truth--is there another Sosia inside
  who’s just like me?

Alc.

Abin hinc a me dignus domino servos?

  (_indignantly_) Will you leave my sight, sir--you slave
  worthy of your master!

Sos.

Abeo, si iubes.

  Sure, ma’am, if you say so.                [EXIT INTO HOUSE.

Alc.

Nimis ecastor facinus mirum est, qui illi conlibitum siet
meo viro sic me insimulare falso facinus tam malum.
quicquid est, iam ex Naucrate cognato id cognoscam meo. 860

  Merciful heavens! It’s simply unintelligible, how my husband
  could think fit to accuse me of such atrocious conduct
  without the slightest cause. Well, whatever it is, I shall
  soon know about it from Naucrates, one of my own family.
                                             [EXIT INTO HOUSE.

ACTVS III

ACT III


(_A couple of hours have elapsed_)

ENTER _Jupiter_.

Iup.
Jup.

Ego sum ille Amphitruo, cui est servos Sosia.
idem Mercurius qui fit, quando commodumst,
in superiore qui habito cenaculo,
qui interdum fio Iuppiter, quando lubet;
huc autem quom extemplo adventum adporto, ilico
Amphitruo fio et vestitum immuto meum.

  (_in jocular, self-satisfied tone_) I am that Amphitryon
  who has a servant Sosia, which same turns into Mercury on
  occasion, I being the Amphitryon who lodge in the upper
  attic (_pointing heavenward_) and become Jupiter at times,
  when the humour seizes me. As soon as I wend my way into
  these parts, however, on the spot I am Amphitryon and change
  my clothes.

nunc huc honoris vostri venio gratia,
ne hanc incohatam transigam comoediam;
simul Alcumenae, quam vir insontem probri
Amphitruo accusat, veni ut auxilium feram: 870
nam mea sit culpa, quod egomet contraxerim,
si id Alcumenae innocenti expetat.

  I now appear out of regard for you, so as not to terminate
  this inchoate comedy. At the same time I am here to help out
  Alcmena, poor innocent, denounced as disloyal by her lord,
  Amphitryon. For it would be sinful of me, if the storm I
  have brewed should descend on the head of guileless Alcmena.

nunc Amphitruonem memet, ut occepi semel,
esse adsimulabo, atque in horum familiam
frustrationem hodie iniciam maxumam;
post igitur demum faciam res fiat palam
atque Alcumenae in tempore auxilium feram
faciamque ut uno fetu et quod gravida est viro
et me quod gravidast pariat sine doloribus.
Mercurium iussi me continue consequi, 880
si quid vellem imperare. nunc hanc adloquar.

  I will pretend for the present to be Amphitryon myself, as
  I have already, and thoroughly confound this family to-day,
  Then, after that, I will eventually clear matters up, yes,
  and aid Alcmena in due season, contriving that she give
  birth at one time to both the children she carries, her
  husband’s and my own, without a pang. Mercury has his orders
  to attend me closely, in case I have commands to give. Now
  for a word with the lady.

III. 2.

Scene 2.

ENTER _Alcmena_ FROM HOUSE.

Alc.

Durare nequeo in aedibus. ita me probri,
stupri, dedecoris a viro argutam meo!
ea quae sunt facta infecta ut reddat clamitat.
quae neque sunt facta neque ego in me admisi arguit;
atque id me susque deque esse habituram putat.

  I can’t stand staying in the house! To be branded so with
  shame, disloyalty, disgrace, by my own husband! How he
  clamours to make facts no facts! And what never happened,
  things I never, never did, he accuses me of, and thinks I’ll
  consider it quite immaterial.

non edepol faciam, neque me perpetiar probri
falso insimulatam, quin ego illum aut deseram
aut satis faciat mi ille atque adiuret insuper,
nolle esse dicta quae in me insontem protulit. 890

  Good gracious, but I won’t! I won’t endure such an awful,
  unjustified accusation: I will leave him, or he must
  apologize, one or the other, yes, and swear he is sorry,
  too, for the things he has said to an innocent woman.

Iup.
Jup.

Faciundum est mi illud, fieri quod illaec postulat,
si me illam amantem ad sese studeam recipere,
quando ego quod feci, id factum Amphitruoni offuit
atque illi dudum meus amor negotium
insonti exhibuit, nunc autem insonti mihi
illius ira in hanc et male dicta expetent.

  (_aside, dryly_) Hm! It’s incumbent upon me to meet her
  demands, if I wish the loving creature to take me into her
  good graces again. Since my doings offended Amphitryon, and
  this love affair of mine lately occasioned his guiltless
  self some consternation, it is turn about now, and my
  guiltless self has to suffer for the scorn and contumely he
  heaped on her.

Alc.

Sed eccum video qui me miseram arguit
stupri, dedecoris.

  (_aside, seeing him_) Ah, there he is--the man that charges
  his wretched wife with disloyalty and shame!

Iup.
Jup.

Te volo, uxor, conloqui.
quo te avortisti?[22]

  I wish to speak with you, my dear. (_circling her as she
  turns her back on him_) Turned away? Where to?

Alc.

Ita ingenium meumst:
inimicos semper osa sum optuerier. 900

  It is natural I should, sir: I always loathed looking at
  enemies.

Iup.
Jup.

Heia autem inimicos?

  Oh, I say now! Enemies?

Alc.

Sic est, vera praedico;
nisi etiam hoc falso dici insimulaturus es.

  Yes, enemies: and that’s the truth of it--unless you intend
  to term this a lie, too.

Iup.
Jup.

Nimis iracunda es.

  (_trying to fondle her_) You’re too irritable.

Alc.

Potin ut abstineas manum?
nam certo, si sis sanus aut sapias satis,
quam tu impudicam esse arbitrere et praedices,
cum ea tu sermonem nec ioco nec serio
tibi habeas, nisi sis stultior stultissimo.

  (_pulling away_) Can’t you keep your hands off? Why surely,
  sir, if you were sane or had a particle of sense about
  you, when you think your wife is immodest and tell her so
  yourself, you wouldn’t hold any conversation with her at all
  in jest or earnest, unless you were the silliest of silly
  men.

Iup.
Jup.

Si dixi, nihilo magis es, neque ego esse arbitror,
et id huc revorti uti me purgarem tibi.
nam numquam quicquam meo animo fuit aegrius, 910
quam postquam audivi ted esse iratam mihi.
cur dixisti? inquies. ego expediam tibi.

  My saying so doesn’t make you so any the more, And I don’t
  think you so, either; and I’ve come back to set myself
  right with you. For I never did feel sicker at heart about
  anything than after I heard you were provoked with me. “Why
  did you say it?” you’ll ask. I’ll clear up that point for
  you.

non edepol quo te esse impudicam crederem;
verum periclitatus sum animum tuom,
quid faceres et quo pacto id ferre induceres.
equidem ioco illa dixeram dudum tibi,
ridiculi causa. vel hunc rogato Sosiam.

  Bless your heart, it wasn’t because I believed you were
  immodest. I was just testing your feelings to see what you’d
  do and how you’d take it. (_forcing a laugh_) Really it was
  all a joke, what I said just now, merely a bit of fun. Why,
  you can ask Sosia here. (_pointing to house_)

Alc.

Quin huc adducis meum cognatum Naucratem,
testem quem dudum te adducturum dixeras,
te huc non venisse?

  (_coldly_) Why do you not bring my relative Naucrates, as
  you just now said you would, to prove you had not been here?

Iup.
Jup.

Si quid dictum est per iocum, 920
non aequom est id te serio praevortier.

  If something is said in joke, it’s not fair to take it in
  earnest.

Alc.

Ego illud scio quam doluerit cordi meo.

  I know one thing--that joke of yours cut me to the heart,
  sir.

Iup.
Jup.

Per dexteram tuam te, Alcumena, oro obsecro.
da mihi hanc veniam, ignosce, irata ne sies.

  (_seizing her hand_) I beg and beseech you, Alcmena, by this
  right hand of yours, do forgive me for it; pardon me: don’t
  be angry!

Alc.

Ego istaec feci verba virtute irrita;
nunc, quando factis me impudicis abstini,
ab impudicis dictis avorti volo.
valeas, tibi habeas res tuas, reddas meas.
iuben mi ire comites

  Your charges are refuted by my honest life; now, sir, having
  been guiltless of gross behaviour, I will not be subjected
  to gross language. Good bye. Keep your own things and
  return me mine. Will you older my attendants to follow me?
  (_turns to go_)

Iup.
Jup.

Sanan es?

  Are you in your senses?

Alc.

Si non iubes,
ibo egomet; comitem mihi Pudicitiam duxero.[23] 930

  If you decline to do so, I will go with my woman’s honour as
  my only escort. (_walks away_)

Iup.
Jup.

Mane. arbitratu tuo ius iurandum dabo,
me meam pudicam esse uxorem arbitrarier.
id ego si fallo, tum te, summe Iuppiter,
quaeso, Amphitruoni ut semper iratus sies.

  (_holding her_) Wait, wait! I’ll swear to it--at your
  dictation--that I believe my wife is virtuous. If I deceive
  you in this, then, Jove almighty, I invoke thy curse upon
  Amphitryon for evermore.

Alc.

A, propitius sit potius.

  (_hurriedly_) Oh no! His blessing, his blessing!

Iup.
Jup.

Confido fore;
nam ius iurandum verum te advorsum dedi.
iam nunc irata non es?

  I trust to have it, for it is a reliable oath I have given you.
  (_drawing her close_) Now you’re not angry, are you?

Alc.

Non sum.

  (_submitting_) No.

Iup.
Jup.

Bene facis.
nam in hominum aetate multa eveniunt huius modi:
capiunt voluptates, capiunt rursum miserias;
irae interveniunt, redeunt rursum in gratiam. 940
verum irae si quae forte eveniunt huius modi
inter eos, rursum si reventum in gratiam est,
bis tanto amici sunt inter se quam prius.

  (_caressing her_) That’s a good girl. Why, life is full of
  incidents of this sort. Human beings lay hold on pleasures
  and then again on pains. Quarrels come between them, and
  then they are reconciled again. But if any such quarrel as
  this does happen to arise between them, then when it blows
  over they are twice as fond of one another as they were
  before.

Alc.

Primum cavisse oportuit ne diceres,
verum eadem si isdem purgas mi, patiunda sunt.

  You should have been careful not to say such a thing in the
  first place; but if you apologize so nicely for hurting me
  so, I can’t complain.

Iup.
Jup.

Iube vero vasa pura adornari mihi,
ut quae apud legionem vota vovi. si domum
rediissem salvos, ea ego exsolvam omnia.

  Well, well, then, have the sacrificial vessel prepared for
  me so that I can pay all the vows I vowed for a safe return
  home when I was in the field.

Alc.

Ego istuc curabo.

  I will attend to that.

Iup.
Jup.

Evocate huc Sosiam;
gubernatorem, qui in mea navi fuit 950
Blepharonem arcessat, qui nobiscum prandeat
is adeo[24] inpransus ludificabitur,
cum ego Amphitruonem collo hinc obstricto traham.

  (_to maids in doorway_) Call Sosia out. I want him to
  invite Blepharo, the pilot aboard my ship, to lunch with
  us. (EXEUNT _maids_) (_aside_) As a matter of fact, friend
  Blepharo will be left unlunched and looking foolish when I
  turn Amphitryon out neck and crop.

Alc.

Mirum quid solus secum secreto ille agat.
atque aperiuntur aedis. exit Sosia.

  (_aside_) I wonder what he’s talking about all to himself!
  Ah, there goes the door! Sosia’s coming out.

III. 3.

Scene 3.

ENTER _Sosia_.

Sos.

Amphitruo, assum. si quid opus est, impera, imperium exequar.

  Present, sir. If anything’s needed, order away and I’ll
  fulfil orders.

Iup.
Jup.

Sosia, optume advenis.

  Sosia, you are the very man I want.

Sos.

Iam pax est inter vos duos?
nam quia vos tranquillos video, gaudeo et volup est mihi.
atque ita servom par videtur frugi sese instituere
proinde eri ut sint, ipse item sit; voltum e voltu comparet 960
tristis sit, si eri sint tristes; hilarus sit, si gaudeant
sed age responde: iam vos rediistis in concordiam?

  Is there peace between you two now, sir? I tell you what,
  it’s a pleasure, it’s a joy, to see you looking peaceful.
  Yes, and to my way of thinking, an honest servant ought to
  stick to this principle: be like what his betters are, model
  his expression on theirs, be in the dumps if they are in the
  dumps, and jolly if they are happy. But come, sir, answer
  me. Have you made friends again now, eh?

Iup.
Jup.

Derides, qui scis haec dudum me dixisse per iocum.

  (_reprovingly_) Mocker! What I said a while ago was all in
  fun, and you know it.

Sos.

An id ioco dixisti? equidem serio ac vero ratus.

  In fun, was it? Upon my soul, I thought it was the solemn
  truth.

Iup.
Jup.

Habui expurigationem; facta pax est.

  I have explained: peace is made.

Sos.

Optume est.

  That’s grand, sir.

Iup.
Jup.

Ego rem divinam intus faciam, vota quae sunt.

  I will make those offerings I vowed, inside.

Sos.

Censeo.

  Very good, sir.

Iup.
Jup.

Tu gubernatorem a navi huc evoca verbis meis
Blepharonem, qui re divina facta mecum prandeat.

  As for you, convey my invitation to Pilot Blepharo to come
  over from the ship and lunch with me after the sacrifice is
  done.

Sos.

Iam hic ero, cum illic censebis esse me.

  I’ll be here by the time you think I’m there, sir.

Iup.
Jup.

Actutum huc redi.

  Yes, hurry back home.                        [EXIT _Sosia_.

Alc.

Numquid vis, quin abeam iam intro, ut apparentur quibus opust? 970

  Is there anything else, or shall I go in now and see to the
  things you’ll need?

Iup.
Jup.

I sane, et quantum potest parata fac sint omnia.

  Do, by all means, and get everything ready as quickly as you
  can.

Alc.

Quin venis quando vis intro? faxo haud quicquam sit morae.

  Come in as soon as you wish. I’ll make sure there’s nothing
  to delay you.

Iup.
Jup.

Recte loquere et proinde diligentem ut uxorem decet.

  (_tenderly_) That’s the way for an attentive wife to talk.
                                              [EXIT _Alcmena._

iam hisce ambo, et servos et era, frustra sunt duo,
qui me Amphitruonem rentur esse: errant probe.
nunc tu divine huc fac adsis Sosia--
audis quae dico, tam etsi praesens non ades--
fac Amphitruonem advenientem ab aedibus
ut abigas; quovis pacto fac commentus sis.

  There we are! Both of ’em fooled, servant and mistress, took
  in thinking me Amphitryon. A sad mistake! Hark ye, Sosia the
  divine, appear! You hear what I say, even though absent in
  the flesh. Drive Amphitryon away from the house when he
  arrives--any device you please.

volo deludi illunc, dum cum hac usuraria 980
uxore nunc mihi morigero. haec curata sint
fac sis, proinde adeo ut velle med intellegis,
atque ut ministres mihi, mihi cum sacruficem.

  He must be hoodwinked while I proceed to divert myself with
  my wife on loan. Kindly see that this is managed precisely
  as you know I wish it to be, and do me service while I am
  sacrificing to myself.                      [EXIT _Jupiter_.

III. 4.

Scene 4.

ENTER _Mercury_ HURRIEDLY WITH BURLESQUE IMPORTANCE.

Mer.

Concedite atque abscedite omnes, de via decedite,
nec quisquam tam audax fuat homo, qui obviam obsistat mihi.
nam mihi quidem hercle qui minus liceat deo minitarier
populo, ni decedat mihi, quam servolo in comoediis?
ille navem salvam nuntiat aut irati adventum senis:
ego sum Iovi dicto audiens, eius iussu nunc huc me adfero.
quam ob rem mihi magis par est via decedere et concedere. 990

  (_to imaginary passers-by_) Get away, get out, get off
  the street, every one! Let no man be so bold as to block my
  path. (_to audience_) For damme, just tell me why a god
  like me hasn’t as much right to hector people that hinder
  him as your paltry slave in the comedies? He brings word
  the ship is safe, or the choleric old man approaching:
  (_magnificently_) as for me, I hearken to the word of Jove
  and at his bidding do I now hie me hither. Wherefore ’tis
  still more seemly to get out, to get off the street for me.

pater vocat me, eum sequor, eius dicto imperio sum audiens;
ut filium bonum patri esse oportet, itidem ego sum patri.
amanti sub parasitor, hortor, adsto, admoneo, gaudeo.
si quid patri volup est, voluptas ea mihi multo maxumast.

  My father calls me; I come, obedient to his best and will.
  (_confidingly_) I am a good son to my father, as a son
  should be. I back him up in his gallantries, encourage him,
  stand by him, advise him, rejoice with him. If anything
  gratifies my father, it gratifies me infinitely more.

amat: sapit; recte facit, animo quando obsequitur suo,
quod omnis homines facere oportet, dum id modo fiat bono.
nunc Amphitruonem volt deludi meus pater: faxo probe
iam his deludetur, spectatores, vobis inspectantibus.

  He’s in love: he’s wise; he does well to indulge his
  inclinations. It is what every one ought to do, that is
  within due bounds. At present my father wishes Amphitryon
  to be fooled: fooled he shall be finely, I promise you, here
  and now, spectators, and under your inspection.

capiam coronam mi ni caput, adsimulabo me esse ebrium;
atque illuc sursum escendero: inde optume aspellam virum 1000
de supero, cum huc accesserit; faciam ut sit madidus sobrius.
deinde illi actutum sufferet suos servos poenas Sosia:
eum fecisse ille hodie arguet quae ego fecero hic. quid mea?
meo me aequomst morigerum patri, eius studio servire addecet.

  I’m going to put a garland on my head and make believe I’m
  drunk, yes, and I’ll climb out on the roof yonder (_pointing
  to Amphitryon’s house_) and repel our returning hero in
  glorious style from up above there. I’ll see that he’s both
  soaked and sober. Then that servant Sosia of his shall
  promptly smart for it, Sosia being accused of doing what
  I do here. But what of that? I must humour my own father:
  it is only dutiful to meet his desires.

sed eccum Amphitruonem, advenit; iam ille hic deludetur probe,
siquidem vos voltis auscultando operam dare.
ibo intro, ornatum capiam qui potis decet;
dein susum ascendam in tectum, ut illum hinc prohibeam.

  (_looking down street_) But there’s Amphitryon coming! Here
  and now he’ll be finely fooled--if you’ll only take the
  trouble to attend. I’ll go inside and make up as a person
  flown with wine; then I’ll up on the roof to keep him off.
                                            [EXIT INTO HOUSE.

ACTVS IV

ACT IV


ENTER _Amphitryon_ WEARILY.

Amph.

Naucratem quem convenire volui, in navi non erat,
neque domi neque in urbe invenio quemquam qui illum viderit. 1010
nam omnis plateas perreptavi, gymnasia et myropolia;
apud emporium atque in macello, in palaestra atque in foro,
in medicinis, in tonstrinis, apud omnis aedis sacras
sum defessus quaeritando. nusquam invenio Naucratem.

  Naucrates, whom I wanted to get hold of wasn’t on the ship,
  and not a soul can I find at his house or in the city who
  has seen him. Why, I’ve hobbled through every street,
  gymnasium, and perfumery shop: down in the bazaar and the
  market, at the athletic field and the forum, too, at the
  doctor’s, the barber’s, the holy temples from first to
  last,--I’m tired to death looking for him and not a sign of
  Naucrates anywhere.

nunc domum ibo atque ex uxore hanc rem pergam exquirere,
quis fuerit quem propter corpus suom stupri compleverit
nam me, quam illam quaestionem inquisitam hodie amittere,
mortuom satrust. sed aedis occluserunt. eugepae,
pariter hoc fit atque ut alia facta sunt. feriam foris.
aperite hoc. heus, ecquis hic est? ecquis hoc aperit ostium? 1020

  Now I’m going home and ask my wife some more questions
  about this, and (_savagely_) find out who it is she has
  prostituted herself for. Ah, I’d sooner die than let the
  day pass without having this matter settled. (_trying door_)
  Well! they’ve locked up the house! Nice doings! Quite in
  accord with the rest of it. I’ll knock. (_does so_) Open
  up here! Hey! is anyone in? Open--somebody! (_knocks more
  lustily_)

IV. 2.

Scene 2.

_Mercury_, MUCH DISHEVELED, APPEARS ON ROOF.

Mer.

Quis ad fores est?

  (_thickly_) Who’s at the door?

Amph.

Ego sum.

  I am.

Mer.

Quid ego sum?

  I am, eh?

Amph.

Ita loquor.

  (_sharply_) So I say.

Mer.

Tibi Iuppiter
dique omnes nati certo sunt, qui sic frangas fores.

  Jupiter and ... all the ... gods ... are surely angry at you
  ... demolishing our door so.

Amph.

Quo modo?

  What do you mean!

Mer.

Eo modo, ut profecto vivas aetatem miser.

  Here’s ... what I mean ... you’re certainly going to have a
  bad, bad time of it.

Amph.

Sosia.

  (_sternly_) Sosia!

Mer.

Ita, sum Sosia, nisi me esse oblitum existimas.
quid nunc vis?

  Just so! That’s me ... unless you think I’ve forgotten. Now
  what do ... you want?

Amph.

Sceleste, at etiam quid velim, id tu me rogas.

  Rascal! Do you actually dare ask me that--what I want?

Mer.

Ita, rogo. paene effregisti, fatue, foribus cardines
an foris censebas nobis publicitus praeberier?
quid me aspectas, stolide? quid nunc vis tibi? aut quid tu es homo?

  Of course I do. You’ve almost hammered the doors off their
  hinges, you ... stupid. Didn’t suppose we were supplied with
  doors at public expense, did you? What are you staring at me
  for, you ... booby? What are you after now? Who are you?

Amph.

Verbero, etiam quis ego sim me rogitas, ulmorum Acheruns?
quem pol ego hodie ob istaec dicta faciam ferventem flagris. 1030

  You scoundrel! Still asking me who I am, you death on rods,
  you? By gad, I’ll warm you up with a whip to day for this
  insolence!

Mer.

Prodigum te fuisse oportet olim in adulescentia.

  You must have been a waster ... in your ... younger days.

Amph.

Quidum?

  How so?

Mer.

Quia senecta aetate a me mendicas malum.

  Well ... here you are in your declining years begging ... me
  for trouble.

Amph.

Cum cruciatu tuo istaec hodie, verna, verba funditas.

  You shall soon suffer for this flow of language, you drudge.

Mer.

Sacrufico ego tibi.

  I’m sacrificing to ye, I am.

Amph.

Qui?

  How?

Mer.

Quia enim te macto infortunio.

  (_slyly poising a pail of water_) Why, because I’m making
  you an offering of a ... calamity.

[_At this point there is a gap in the MSS. Only a few
lines have been preserved. Leo outlines the lost part as
follows: After Mercury has had sufficient amusement with
Amphitryon, the disturbance calls Alcmena from within. She
has a dispute with her husband--Jupiter had left her earlier
so that he might offer sacrifice--and shuts him out of the
house. Perhaps Amphitryon went away to summon friends to aid
him: at any rate, Sosia appears with Blepharo and gets a bad
welcome from his master, despite Blepharo’s patronage, and
then escapes. Jupiter comes out of the house. Husband and
lover abuse each other vigorously and a scuffle ensues.
Blepharo is appealed to by Amphitryon, only to be made
ridiculous by Jupiter._]

Amph.

At ego te cruce et cruciatu mactabo, mastigia. I

  But I’ll make you an offering of torture and torment, you
  whipping post.

Mer.

Erus Amphitruost occupatus. II

  The master, Amphitryon, is busy.

Mer.

abiendi nunc tibi etiam occasiost. III (XV LG)

  ---- now you still have a chance to leave.

Mer.

Optimo iure infringatur aula cineris in caput. IV (III)

  It would serve you right to have a pot of ashes broken on
  your head.

Mer.

Ne tu postules matulam unam tibi aquae infundi in caput V (IV)

  You would certainly ask to have one jar of water emptied on
  your head.

Mer.

Larvatu’s edepol hominem miserum medicum quaerita. VI (VII)

  Bewitched! Dear, dear! poor man! Look for a doctor.

Alc.

Exiuravisti te mihi dixe per iocum. VII (XI)

  You swore solemnly that you said it to me in fun.

Alc.

Quaeso advenienti morbo medicari iube VIII (XII)
tu certe aut larvatus aut cerritus es.

  For mercy’s sake have this disease treated at the outset;
  you surely are bewitched or crazed.

Alc.

Nisi hoc ita factum est, proinde ut factum esse autumo, IX (XIII)
non causam dico quin vero insimules probri.

  If this did not take place just as I state, you have every
  right to accuse me of unchastity.

Amph.

Cuius? quae me absente corpus volgavit suom. X (XVI)

  Whose? A woman that prostituted herself in my absence!

Amph.

Quid minitabas te facturum, si istas pepulissem fores? XI (V)

  What were you threatening to do, if I pounded on that door?

Amph.

Ibi scrobes ecfodito tu plus sexagenos in die. XII (VI)

  There dig more than sixty ditches a day.

Amph.

Noli pessimo precari XIII (XVII)

  Don’t intercede for an utter rascal.

Bleph.

animam comprime XIV (XVIII)

  ---- save your breath.

Iup.
Jup.

Manifestum hunc optorto collo teneo furem flagiti XV (IX)

  I have him by the scruff of the neck, an outrageous thief
  caught in the act.

Amph.

Immo ego hunc, Thebani cives, qui domi uxorem meam XVI (X)
impudicitia impedivit, teneo, thensaurum stupri

  No, no, Theban citizens, I have him, the monster of lust who
  has brought disgrace on my wife at home.

Amph.

Nilne te pudet, sceleste, populi in conspectum ingredi? XVII (VIII)

  Aren’t you at all ashamed, you villain, to come out into
  public sight?

Amph.

clandestino. XVIII (XIX)

  ---- clandestinely.

Amph. sive Iup.
Amph. or Jup.

Qui nequeas nostrorum uter sit Amphitruo decernere. XIX (XIV)

  You who are unable to decide which of us is Amphitryon.

IV. 3.

Scene 3.

Bleph.

Vos inter vos partite; ego abeo, mihi negotium est;
neque ego umquam usquam tanta mira me vidisse censeo.

  (_disgustedly_) You must untangle your own selves: I’m
  going: I have an engagement. (_aside_) Never did I see such
  marvels anywhere, I do believe. (_turns to go_)

Amph.

Blepharo, quaeso ut advocatus mi adsis neve abeas.

  Blepharo! Stand by me, for mercy’s sake, and be my assistant:
  don’t go!

Bleph.

Vale.
quid opust me advocato, qui utri sim advocatus nescio?

  Good-bye. What’s the use of my being an assistant when I
  don’t know which to be it to?              [EXIT _Blepharo_.

Iup.
Jup.

Intro ego hinc eo. Alcumena parturit.

  (_aside_) I’m going inside myself: Alcmena’s delivery is at
  hand.    [EXIT _Jupiter_ INTO HOUSE, UNSEEN BY _Amphitryon_.

Amph.

Perii miser.
quid ego faciam, quem advocati iam atque amici deserunt? 1040
numquam edepol me inultus istic ludificabit, quisquis est;
nam iam ad regem recta me ducam resque ut facta est eloquar.[25]
ego pol illum ulciscar hodie Thessalum veneficum,
qui pervorse perturbavit familiae mentem meae.
sed ubi illest? intro edepol abiit, credo ad uxorem meam.

  (_wildly_) Heavens! oh, Heavens! What shall I do now when
  assistants and friends desert me? By the Lord, that villain
  shall never make game of me and escape, whoever he is! I’ll
  go straight to the king this moment and tell him all as it
  happened. I swear I’ll have my revenge this day on that
  Thessalian sorcerer who has turned the wits of my household
  topsy-turvy. (_looking around_) Where is he, though? Good
  God! He’s gone inside--to my wife, no doubt!

qui me Thebis alter vivit miserior? quid nunc agam?
quem omnes mortales ignorant et ludificant ut lubet.
certumst, intro rumpam in aedis: ubi quemque hominem aspexero,
si ancillam seu servom sive uxorem sive adulterum
seu patrem sive avom videbo, obtruncabo in aedibus. 1050
neque me Iuppiter neque di omnes id prohibebunt, si volent,
quin sic faciam ut constitui. pergam in aedis nunciam.

  Oh, of all miserable men in Thebes! What shall I do now?
  Disowned and humbugged by every mortal soul to suit their
  humour! (_pause_) My mind’s made up--I’ll burst into
  the house, and every human creature there I set my eyes on,
  maid or man, wife or paramour, father or grandfather, I’ll
  cut them down in my halls! And not the will of Jupiter and
  all the gods shall stop my doing as I’ve determined! I’ll in
  this minute! (_he rushes toward door: a peal of thunder:
  he falls to ground motionless_)

ACTVS V

ACT V


(_Half an hour has elapsed._)

ENTER _Bromia_ FROM HOUSE, IN A PANIC.

Brom.

Spes atque opes vitae meae iacent sepultae in pectore,
neque ullast confidentia iam in corde, quin amiserim;
ita mihi videntur omnia, mare terra caelum, consequi,
iam ut opprimar, ut enicer. me miseram, quid agam nescio.

  Oh, my hopes and chances of getting out of this alive are
  dead and buried inside of me! There’s not a thing left to
  keep my courage up now! The way everything--sea, land, sky--
  does seem set on crushing me, killing me off this instant!
  Oh dear, oh dear! What to do I don’t know.

ita tanta mira in aedibus sunt facta. vae miserae mihi,
animo malest, aquam velim. corrupta sum atque absumpta sum.
caput dolet, neque audio, nec oculis prospicio satis,
nec me miserior femina est neque ulla videatur magis. 1060

  Such amazing
  things as did happen in there! Oh, poor me! I feel faint.
  Oh, for some water! I’m a wreck, I’m all done up. My head’s
  splitting, and I can’t hear or see right, either. There
  isn’t a wretcheder woman on earth, or one that could seem
  so, either.

ita erae meae hodie contigit. nam ubi parturit, deos sibi invocat,
strepitus, crepitus, sonitus, tonitrus:
ut subito, ut propere, ut valide tonuit!
ubi quisque institerat, concidit crepitu. ibi nescio quis maxuma
voce exclamat: “Alcumena, adest auxilium, ne time:
et tibi et tuis propitius caeli cultor advenit.
exsurgite” inquit “qui terrore meo occidistis prae metu.”

  The experience mistress did have this day! As
  soon as her time comes she calls on the gods to help her,
  and there’s a grumbling and rumbling and smashing and
  crashing--what a crash, so sudden and quick and heavy it
  was! Every one fell flat where he stood at the peal. And
  then some one or other called out in a mighty voice:
  “Alcmena, help is at hand: be not afraid. To thee and thine
  the sovereign of the skies comes in kindliness. Rise,” he
  said, “ye who have fallen in terror, from dread of me.”

ut iacui, exsurgo. ardere censui aedis, ita tum confulgebant.
ibi me inclamat Alcumena; iam ea res me horrore adficit,
erilis praevertit metus: accurro, ut sciscam quid velit.
atque illam geminos filios pueros peperisse conspicor; 1070
neque nostrum quisquam sensimus, quom peperit, neque providimus.

  Having dropped, I got on my feet: I thought the house was
  afire, the way it was all lit up then. Just then Alcmena
  calls for me to come. I was trembling already at what
  happened, but fear of mistress prevailed, and up I run
  to find out what she wants. And there I see she has given
  birth to twins, boys, and not a soul of us noticed when
  it happened, or is ready for it!

sed quid hoc? quis hic est senex, qui ante aedis nostras sic iacet?
numnam hunc percussit Iuppiter?
credo edepol, nam, pro Iuppiter, sepultust quasi sit mortuos.
ibo et cognoscam, quisquis est. Amphitruo hic quidem est erus meus.
Amphitruo.

  (_sees prostrate Amphitryon_) But what’s this? Who’s
  this old man lying like this in front of our house? Why,
  can it be he’s struck by lightning? Why, mercy me, I do
  believe so! For, good gracious, he’s as completely disposed
  of as if he was a corpse! I’ll go find out, whoever it
  is. (_approaches_) It’s Amphitryon! It’s my master!
  (_calling_) Amphitryon!

Amph.

Perii.

  (_feebly_) Heaven help me!

Brom.

Surge.

  Get up, sir.

Amph.

Interii.

  I’m dead!

Brom.

Cedo manum.

  Give me your hand, sir. (_takes it_)

Amph.

Quis me tenet?

  Who has hold of me?

Brom.

Tua Bromia ancilla.

  Your servant maid, sir, Bromia.

Amph.

Totus timeo, ita me increpuit Iuppiter.
nec secus est, quasi si ab Acherunte veniam. sed quid tu foras
egressa es?

  I’m paralysed with fear! Oh, Jove, what a bolt! I feel as if
  I were getting back--from the next world. (_he gets up_) But
  what made you come out?

Brom.

Eadem nos formido timidas terrore impulit
in aedibus, tu ubi habitas. nimia mira vidi. vae mihi, 1080
Amphitruo, ita mihi animus etiam nunc abest.

  We poor women were struck with the same terror in this house
  of yours, sir. I’ve seen the most amazing things! Oh deary
  me, master, I’m just clean dazed even now!

Amph.

Agedum expedi:
scin me tuom esse erum Amphitruonem?

  Come, come, quick, tell me--do you know me for your master,
  Amphitryon?

Brom.

Scio.

  Surely, sir.

Amph.

Vide etiam nunc.

  Here, look, look again!

Brom.

Scio.

  (_obeying_) Surely, sir.

Amph.

Haec sola sanam mentem gestat meorum familiarium.

  (_half aside_) She’s the only one of my household that has
  any sanity about her.

Brom.

Immo omnes sani sunt profecto.

  Oh no, sir, they’re all sane, of course they are.

Amph.

At me uxor insanum facit
suis foedis factis.

  Well, my wife had driven me insane with her infamous
  actions!

Brom.

At ego faciam, tu idem ut aliter praedices,
Amphitruo, piam et pudicam esse tuam uxorem ut scias.
de ea re signa atque argumenta paucis verbis eloquar.
omnium primum: Alcumena geminos peperit filios.

  (_warmly_) Well, I’ll make you change that tune, sir, your
  very own self, and make you realize that your wife is a
  pious, honest woman, sir. I’ll soon give you signs and
  proofs of that. First of all, she has given birth to
  twin sons.

Amph.

Ain tu, geminos?

  What’s that--twins?

Brom.

Geminos.

  Twins.

Amph.

Di me servant.

  The gods are with me!

Brom.

Sine me dicere,
ut scias tibi tuaeque uxori decs esse omnis propitios. 1090

  Let me go on, so that you may know all the gods mean well by
  you and your wife, sir.

Amph.

Loquere.

  Yes, yes.

Brom.

Postquam parturire hodie uxor occepit tua,
ubi utero exorti dolores, ut solent puerperae
invocat deos immortales, ut sibi auxilium ferant,
manibus puris, capite operto. ibi continuo contonat
sonitu maxumo; aedes primo ruere rebamur tuas.
aedes totae confulgebant tuae, quasi essent aureae.

  After she began to feel near her time to-day and her pains
  were setting in, she called on the immortal gods to help
  her--as women do, sir, in labour--with clean washed hands
  and covered head. She had no sooner begun than there was a
  frightful thunder clap. At first we thought your house was
  tumbling down: your whole house was shining, sir, just as if
  it was gold.

Amph.

Quaeso absolvito hinc me extemplo, quando satis deluseris.
quid fit deinde?

  For heaven’s sake hurry up and don’t keep me on tenterhooks!
  I have had enough of your trifling! What happened next?

Brom.

Dum haec aguntur, interea uxorem tuam
neque gementem neque plorantem nostrum quisquam audivimus;
ita profecto sine dolore peperit.

  While this was going on, not one of us heard your wife groan
  or whimper a bit, sir, the whole time: that’s how she bore
  those boys, sir--never a pang, that’s plain.

Amph.

Iam istuc gaudeo, 1100
utut erga me merita est.

  (_heartily_) Well now, I’m glad of that, no matter what her
  behaviour to me has been.

Brom.

Mitte ista atque haec quae dicam accipe.
postquam peperit, pueros lavere iussit nos. occepimus.
sed puer ille quem ego lavi, ut magnust et multum valet!
neque eum quisquam colligare quivit incunabulis.

  Do let that be, sir, and listen. After they were born she
  told us to bathe them. We began. But that boy I bathed! How
  big and strong he was! Not a soul of us could wrap him in
  his swaddling clothes.

Amph.

Nimia mira memoras; si istaec vera sunt, divinitus
non metuo quin meae uxori latae suppetiae sient.

  A most astounding story! If it be true, there’s no doubt
  that my wife received divine aid.

Brom.

Magis iam faxo mira dices. postquam in cunas conditust,
devolant angues iubati deorsum in impluvium duo
maximi: continuo extollunt ambo capita.

  You’ll call this more astounding still, sir, I warrant you.
  After he was tucked in his cradle, two enormous crested
  serpents came slipping down into the fountain basin: the
  next second both of them were lifting up their heads.

Amph.

Ei mihi.

  Heavens and earth!

Brom.

Ne pave. sed angues occulis omnis cirumvisere. 1110
postquam pueros conspicati, pergunt ad cunas citi.
ego cunas recessim rursum vorsum trahere et ducere,
metuens pueris, mihi formidans; tantoque angues acrius
persequi. postquam conspexit angues ille alter puer,
citus e cunis exilit, facit recta in anguis impetum:
alterum altera prehendit eos manu perniciter.

  Don’t be scared. Well, the serpents glared around at all of
  us. As soon as they spied the boys they made for the cradles
  like a flash. I backed away, fearful for the boys and
  frightened for myself, pulling and hauling the cradles along
  after me with the serpents a-chasing us all the angrier. The
  minute that boy I was telling of sets eyes on the serpents
  he’s up and out of that cradle in a trice, rushing straight
  for ’em and grabbing ’em one in each hand quick as a wink.

Amph.

Mira memoras, nimis formidolosum facinus praedicas;
nam mihi horror membra misero percipit dictis tuis.
quid fit deinde? porro loquere.

  Astounding! Astounding! A perfectly horrifying tale! Mercy
  on us! why, your very words palsy me! What then? Go on, go
  on!

Brom.

Puer ambo angues enicat.
dum haec aguntur, voce clara exclamat uxorem tuam-- 1120

  The boy chokes both serpents to death. While this is going
  on, in a clear voice he calls out the name of your wife--

Amph.

Quis homo?

  Who does?

Brom.

Summus imperator divom atque hominum Iuppiter.
is se dixit cum Alcumena clam consuetum cubitibus,
eumque filium suom esse qui illos angues vicerit;
alterum tuom esse dixit puerum.

  The almighty ruler of gods and men, Jupiter. He said that he
  himself had secretly shared Alcmena’s bed and that that was
  his son who had crushed the serpents: the other one, he
  said, was your own child.

Amph.

Pol me haud paenitet,
si licet boni dimidium mihi dividere cum Iove.
abi domum, iube vasa pura actutum adornari mihi,
ut Iovis supremi multis hostiis pacem expetam.

  Well, well, well! I make no complaint at being permitted to
  have Jove as partner in my blessings. In with you, girl!
  Have sacrificial vessels made ready for me instantly so that
  I may seek the favour of omnipotent Jove with ample
  offerings.                                   [EXIT _Bromia_.

ego Teresiam coniectorem advocabo et consulam
quid faciundum censeat; simul hanc rem ut facta est eloquar.
sed quid hoc? quam valide tonuit. di, obsecro vostram fidem. 1130

  I’ll summon Tiresias the prophet and consult with him as to
  what he thinks should be done, and at the same time tell him
  all that’s happened, (_thunder_) But what’s this? That awful
  thunder peal! Heaven preserve us!

V. 2.

Scene 2.

_Jupiter_ APPEARS ABOVE.

Iup.
Jup.

Bono animo es, adsum auxilio, Amphitruo, tibi et tuis:
nihil est quod timeas. hariolos, haruspices
mitte omnes; quae futura et quae facta eloquar,
multo adeo melius quam illi, quom sum Iuppiter.
primum omnium Alcumenae usuram corporis
cepi, et concubitu gravidam feci filio.

  Be of good cheer. I am here with aid, Amphitryon, for thee
  and thine. Thou hast naught to fear. Seers, soothsayers--
  have none of them. I will make known to thee future and past
  alike, and better far than they, moreover, for I am Jupiter.
  First of all, then, I took thy Alcmena to myself and by me
  she was made a mother.

tu gravidam item fecisti, cum in exercitum
profectu’s: uno partu duos peperit simul.
eorum alter, nostro qui est susceptus semine,
suis factis te immortali adficiet gloria. 1140
tu cum Alcumena uxore antiquam in gratiam
redi: haud promeruit quam ob rem vitio vorteres;
mea vi subactast facere. ego in caelum migro.

  By thee too was she with child when thou didst go forth to
  war: at one birth she bore them both. The one begotten of my
  seed shall win thee undying glory by his works. Live again
  in fond concord as of old with thy wife Alcmena: she has
  done naught to merit thy reproach: my power was on her.
  I now depart to heaven.                     [EXIT _Jupiter_.

V. 3.

Scene 3.

Amph.

Faciam ita ut iubes et te oro, promissa ut serves tua,
ibo ad uxorem intro, missum facio Teresiam senem.

  (_reverently_) Thy will shall be done: and keep thy
  word with me, I beg thee. (_after a pause_) I’ll in and
  see my wife! No more of old Tiresias!

nunc, spectatores, Iovis summi causa clare plaudite.

  (_to the audience_)
  Now, spectators, for the sake of Jove almighty, give us some
  loud applause.

            [EXIT.

[Footnote 2: Corrupt (Leo): _Alcumena_ MSS: _illa_ Bothe.]

[Footnote 4: Leo brackets following v., 14:
  _lucrum ut perenne vobis semper suppetat._]

[Footnote 5: Corrupt (Leo): _affero_ MSS:
_fero_ Acidalius, followed by Lindsay and others.]

[Footnote 6: Leo assumes lacuna here.]

[Footnote 7: _architectust_ Pareus: _architectus_ MSS.
Lambinus suggests that the actor who took the part of Jupiter
may have been a builder.]

[Footnote 8: Corrupt (Leo): _illi_ MSS:
_ille illi_ Ussing, followed by Lindsay.]

[Footnote 9: Leo brackets following v., 93:
_praeterea certo prodit in tragoedia._]

[Footnote 10: Leo brackets following v., 173:
_nec aequom anne iniquom imperet cogitabit._]

[Footnote 11: _vicimus vi_ MSS: Leo brackets _vicimus._]

[Footnote 12: Corrupt (Leo): “_Convertitur pro convertit_,”
Nonius 480.]

[Footnote 13: Corrupt (Leo): _neme esse_ MSS:
among the many emendations is _sane_ (Palmer).]

[Footnote 14: Leo brackets following v., 401:
  _qui cum Amphitruone hinc una ieram in exercitum._]

[Footnote 15: Leo brackets following v., 489-90:
  _et ne in suspicione ponatur stupri_
  _et clandestina ut celetur consuetio._]

[Footnote 16: Corrupt (Leo): _si non id ita_ J.]

[Footnote 17: Leo notes slight _lacuna_ here:
_mirum_ MSS: _mirum mirum_ Spengel.]

[Footnote 18: Leo brackets following v., 629-632:

  _sed vide ex navi efferantur quae imperavi iam omnia._
  Sos.
  _Et memor sum et diligens, ut quae imperes comparcant;_
  _non ego cum vino simitu ebibi imperium tuom._
  Amph.
  _Vtinam di faxint, infecta dicta re eveniant tua._]

[Footnote 19: Corrupt (Leo): _quom te gravidam_ MSS:
_quom gravidam_ Pylades.]

[Footnote 20: Leo brackets following v., 685:
  _atque me nunc proinde appellas quasi multo post videris?_]

[Footnote 21: _enim verbis probas_ Lachmann:
_probas_ vel _proba’s_ Lindsay: _in verbis probas_ MSS.]

[Footnote 22: Leo notes lacuna here. _Ita ingenium_ MSS:
_Ita ingeni ingenium_ Seyffert, followed by Lindsay.]

[Footnote 23: Corrupt (Leo): _duxero_ MSS: _adsero_ Leo

[Footnote 24: Leo notes lacuna here and suggests
_is a Mercurio impransus_.]

[Footnote 25: Corrupt (Leo): _nam iam_ MSS: _iam_ Gruter.]

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[Transcriber’s Corrections: Amphitryon

Personae:
MERCVRIVS DEUS, SOSIA SERVUS...
spelling unchanged, as in Captivi

I. 1. l. 314
nam continuas has tris noctes pervigilavi
text reads contiuas

I. 1.
Sos. ...and my name is Sosia
text reads my same is Sosia ]

II. 1. l. 580
Sos.: Quid est negoti?
Latin text omits speaker’s name

V. 2. l. 1142
haud promeruit quam ob rem vitio vorteres
text reads quam ob tem ]

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