AULULARIA
THE POT OF GOLD
* * * * *
ARGVMENTVM I
ARGUMENT OF THE PLAY (I)
Senex avarus vix sibi credens Euclio
domi suae defossam multis cum opibus
aulam invenit, rursumque penitus conditam
exanguis amens servat. eius filiam
Lyconides vitiarat. interea senex
Megadorus a sorore suasus ducere
uxorem avari gnatam deposcit sibi.
A miserly old man named Euclio, a man who would hardly trust
his very self, on finding a pot full of treasure buried
within his house, hides it away again deep in the ground,
and, beside himself with terror, keeps watch over it. His
daughter had been wronged by Lyconides. Meanwhile an old
gentleman, one Megadorus, is persuaded by his sister to
marry, and asks the miser for his daughter’s hand.
durus senex vix promittit, atque aulae timens
domo sublatam variis abstrudit locis.
insidias servos facit huius Lyconidis
qui virginem vitiarat; atque ipse obsecrat 10
avonculum Megadorum sibimet cedere
uxorem amanti. per dolum mox Euclio
cum perdidisset aulam, insperato invenit
laetusque natam conlocat Lyconidi.
The dour old fellow at length consents, and, fearing for his
pot, takes it from the house and hides it in one place after
another. The servant of this Lyconides, the man who had
wronged the girl, plots against the miser; and Lyconides
himself entreats his uncle, Megadorus, to give up the girl,
and let him, the man that loves her, marry her. After a time
Euclio, who had been tricked out of his pot, recovers it
unexpectedly and joyfully bestows his daughter upon
Lyconides.
ARGVMENTVM II
ARGUMENT OF THE PLAY (II)
Aulam repertam auri plenam Euclio
Vi summa servat, miseris adfectus modis.
Lyconides istius vitiat filiam.
Volt hanc Megadorus indotatam ducere,
Lubensque ut faciat dat coquos cum obsonio.
Auro formidat Euclio, abstrudit foris.
Re omni inspecta compressoris servolus
Id surpit. illic Euclioni rem refert.
Ab eo donatur auro, uxore et filio.
Euclio, on finding a pot full of gold, is dreadfully
worried, and watches over it with the greatest vigilance.
Lyconides wrongs his daughter. This girl, undowered though
she is, Megadorus wishes to marry, and he cheerfully
supplies cooks and provisions for the wedding feast. Anxious
about his gold, Euclio hides it outside the house.
Everything he does having been witnessed, a rascally servant
of the girl’s assailant steals it. His master informs
Euclio of it, and receives from him gold, wife, and son.
PERSONAE.
DRAMATIS PERSONAE
LAR FAMILIARIS PROLOGVS
EVCLIO SENEX
STAPHYLA ANVS
EVNOMIA MATRONA
MEGADORVS SENEX
PYTHODICVS SERVVS
CONGRIO COCVS
ANTHRAX COCVS
STROBILVS SERVVS
LYCONIDES ADVLESCENS
PHAEDRIA PVELLA
TIBICINAE
THE HOUSEHOLD GOD OF EUCLIO, _the Prologue._
EUCLIO, _an old gentleman of Athens._
STAPHYLA, _his old slave._
EUNOMIA, _a lady of Athens_
MEGADORUS, _an old gentleman of Athens, Eunomia’s brother._
PYTHODICUS, _his slave_
CONGRIO, _cook._
ANTHRAX, _cook._
STROBILUS, _slave of Lyconides._
LYCONIDES, _a young gentleman of Athens, Eunomia’s son._
PHAEDRIA, _Euclio’s daughter._
MUSIC GIRLS.
_Scene:--Athens. A street on which are the houses of
Euclio and Megadorus, a narrow lane between them, in
front an altar._
PROLOGVS
PROLOGUE
LAR FAMILIARIS
SPOKEN BY EUCLIO’S HOUSEHOLD GOD
Ne quis miretur qui sim, paucis eloquar
ego Lar sum familiaris ex hac familia
unde exeuntem me aspexistis. hanc domum
iam multos annos est cum possideo et colo
patri avoque iam huius qui nunc hic habet
sed mi avos huius obsecrans concredidit
thensaurum auri clam omnis. in medio foco
defodit, venerans me ut id servarem sibi.
That no one may wonder who I am, I shall inform you briefly.
I am the Household God of that family from whose house you
saw me come. For many years now I have possessed this
dwelling, and preserved it for the sire and grandsire of its
present occupant. Now this man’s grandsire as a suppliant
entrusted to me, in utter secrecy, a hoard of gold: he
buried it in the centre of the hearth, entreating me to
guard it for him.
is quoniam moritur--ita avido ingenio fuit--
numquam indicare id filio voluit suo, 10
inopemque optavit potius eum relinquere,
quam eum thensaurum commonstraret filio;
agri reliquit ei non magnum modum,
quo cum labore magno et misere viveret.
When he died he could not bear--so covetous was he--to
reveal its existence to his own son, and he chose to leave
him penniless rather than apprise him of this treasure. Some
land, a little only, he did leave him, whereon to toil and
moil for a miserable livelihood.
Ubi is obiit mortem qui mihi id aurum credidit,
coepi observare, ecqui maiorem filus
mihi honorem haberet quam eius habuisset pater.
atque ille vero minus minusque impendio
curare minusque me impertire honoribus.
item a me contra factum est, nam item obiit diem. 20
is ex se hunc reliquit qui hic nunc habitat filium
pariter moratum ut pater avosque huius fuit.
After the death of him who had committed the gold to my
keeping, I began to observe whether the son would hold me in
greater honour than his father had. As a matter of fact, his
neglect grew and grew apace, and he showed me less honour.
I did the same by him: so he also died. He left a son who
occupies this house at present, a man of the same mould as
his sire and grandsire.
huic filia una est. ea mihi cottidie
aut ture aut vino aut aliqui semper supplicat,
dat mihi coronas. eius honoris gratia
feci, thensaurum ut hic reperiret Euclio,
quo illam facilius nuptum, si vellet, daret
nam eam compressit de summo adulescens loco.
is scit adulescens quae sit quam compresserit,
illa illum nescit, neque compressam autem pater. 30
He has one daughter. She prays to me constantly, with
daily gifts of incense, or wine, or something; she gives me
garlands. Out of regard for her I caused Euclio to discover
the treasure here in order that he might the more easily
find her a husband, if he wished. For she has been ravished
by a young gentleman of very high rank. He knows who it is
that he has wronged; who he is she does not know, and as for
her father, he is ignorant of the whole affair.
Eam ego hodie faciam ut hic senex de proxumo
sibi uxorem poscat. id ea faciam gratia,
quo ille eam facilius ducat qui compresserat.
et hic qui poscet eam sibi uxorem senex,
is adulescentis illius est avonculus,
qui illam stupravit noctu, Cereris vigiliis.
I shall make the old gentleman who lives next door
here (_pointing_) ask for her hand to-day. My reason for so
doing is that the man who wronged her may marry her the more
easily. And the old gentleman who is to ask for her hand is the
uncle of the young gentleman who violated her by night
at the festival of Ceres.
sed hic senex iam clamat intus ut solet.
anum foras extrudit, ne sit conscia.
credo aurum inspicere volt, ne subreptum siet.
(_an uproar in Euclio’s house_) But there is old Euclio
clamouring within as usual, and turning his ancient servant
out of doors lest she learn his secret. I suppose he wishes
to look at his gold and see that it is not stolen. [EXIT.
ACTVS I
ACT I
Eucl.
Exi, inquam. age exi. exeundum hercle tibi hinc est foras, 40
circumspectatrix cum oculis emissicus.
(_within_) Out with you, I say! Come now, out with you! By
the Lord, you’ve got to get out of here, you snook-around,
you, with your prying and spying.
ENTER _Staphyla_ FROM _Euclio’s_ HOUSE, FOLLOWED BY _Euclio_
WHO IS PUSHING AND BEATING HER.
Staph.
Nam cur me miseram verberas?
(_groaning_) Oh, what makes you go a-hitting a poor wretch
like me, sir?
Eucl.
Ut misera sis
atque ut te dignam mala malam aetatem exigas.
(_savagely_) To make sure you are a poor wretch, so as to
give a bad lot the bad time she deserves.
Staph.
Nam qua me nunc causa extrusisti ex aedibus?
Why, what did you push me out of the house for now?
Eucl.
Tibi ego rationem reddam, stimulorum seges?
illuc regredere ab ostio. illuc sis vide,
ut incedit. at scin quo modo tibi res se habet?
si hercle hodie fustem cepero aut stimulum in manum,
testudineum istum tibi ego grandibo gradum.
I give my reasons to you, you,--you patch of beats, you?
Over there with you, (_pointing_) away from the door!
(_Staphyla hobbles to place indicated_) Just look at her,
will you,--how she creeps along! See here, do you know
what’11 happen to you? Now by heaven, only let me lay my
hand on a club or a stick and I’ll accelerate that tortoise
crawl for you!
Staph.
Utinam me divi adaxint ad suspendium 50
potius quidem quam hoc pacto apud te servium.
(_aside_) Oh, I wish Heaven would make me hang myself, I do!
Better that than slaving it for you at this rate, I’m sure.
Eucl.
At ut scelesta sola secum murmurat
oculos hercle ego istos, improba, ecfodiam tibi,
ne me observare possis quid rerum geram
abscede etiam nunc--etiam nunc--etiam--ohe.
(_aside_) Hear the old criminal mumbling away to herself,
though! (_aloud_) Ah! those eyes of yours, you old sinner!
By heaven, I’ll dig ’em out for you. I will, so that you
can’t keep watching me whatever I do. Get farther off
still! still farther! still--Whoa!
istic astato. si hercle tu ex istoc loco
digitum transvorsum aut unguem latum excesseris
aut si respexis, donicum ego te iussero,
continuo hercle ego te dedam discipulam cruci.
Stand there! You budge a finger’s breadth a nail’s breadth
from that spot; you so much as turn your head till I say
the word, and by the Almighty, the next minute I’ll send
you to the gallows for a lesson, so I will.
scelestiorem me hac anu certo scio 60
vidisse numquam, nimisque ego hanc metuo male,
ne mi ex insidiis verba imprudent duit
neu persentiscat aurum ubi est absconditum,
quae in occipitio quoque habet oculos pessima.
nunc ibo ut visam sitne ita aurum ut condidi,
quod me sollicitat plurimis miserum modis.
(_aside_) A worse reprobate than this old crone I never did
see, no, never. Oh, but how horribly scared I am she’ll come
some sly dodge on me when I’m not expecting it, and smell
out the place where the gold is hidden. She has eyes in the
very back of her head, the hell-cat. Now I’ll just go see if
the gold is where I hid it. Dear, dear, it worries the life
out of me! [EXIT _Euclio_ INTO HOUSE.
Staph.
Noenum mecastor quid ego ero dicam meo
malae rei evenisse quamve insaniam,
queo comminisci; ita me miseram ad hunc modum
decies die uno saepe extrudit aedibus. 70
nescio pol quae illunc hominem intemperiae tenent;
pervigilat noctes totas, tum autem interdius
quasi claudus sutor domi sedet totos dies.
Mercy me! What’s come over master, what crazy streak he’s
got, I can’t imagine,--driving a poor woman out of the house
this way ten times a day, often. Goodness gracious, what
whim-whams the man’s got into his head I don’t see. Never
shuts his eyes all night: yes, and then in the daytime he’s
sitting around the house the whole livelong day, for all the
world like a lame cobbler.
neque iam quo pacto celem erilis filiae
probrum, propinqua partitudo cui appetit,
queo comminisci; neque quicquam meliust mihi,
ut opinor, quam ex me ut unam faciam litteram
longam, meum laqueo collum quando obstrinxero.
How I’m going to hide the young mistress’s disgrace now is
beyond me, and she with her time so near. There’s nothing
better for me to do, as I see, than tie a rope round my neck
and dangle myself out into one long capital I.
I. 2.
Scene 2.
RE-ENTER _Euclio_ FROM HOUSE.
Eucl.
Nunc defaecato demum animo egredior domo,
postquam perspexi salva esse intus omnia. 80
redi nunciam intro atque intus serva.
(_aside_) At last I can feel easy about leaving the house,
now I have made certain everything is all right inside.
(_to Staphyla_) Go back in there this instant, you, and keep
watch inside.
Staph.
Quippini?
ego intus servem? an ne quis aedes auferat?
nam hic apud nos nihil est aliud quaesti furibus,
ita inaniis sunt oppletae atque araneis.
(_tartly_) I suppose so! So I’m to keep watch inside, am I?
You aren’t afraid anyone’ll walk away with the house, are
you? I vow we’ve got nothing else there for thieves to take--
all full of emptiness as it is, and cobwebs.
Eucl.
Mirum quin tua me causa faciat Iuppiter
Philippum regem aut Dareum, trivenefica
araneas mihi ego illas servari volo.
pauper sum, fateor, patior, quod di dant fero.
It is surprising Providence wouldn’t make a King Philip
or Darius of me for your benefit, you viper, you!
(_threateningly_) I want those cobwebs watched! I’m poor,
poor; I admit it, I put up with it; I take what the gods
give me.
abi intro, occlude ianuam. iam ego hic ero
cave quemquam alienum in aedis intro miseris 90
quod quispiam ignem quaerat, extingui volo,
ne causae quid sit quod te quisquam quaeritet
nam si ignis vivet, ut extinguere extempulo.
In with you, bolt the door. I shall be back soon. No
outsider is to be let in, mind you. And in case anyone
should be looking for a light, see you put the fire out
so that no one will have any reason to come to you for it.
Mark my words, if that fire stays alive, I’ll extinguish
you instantly.
tum aquam aufugisse dicito, si quis petet.
cultrum, securim, pistillum, mortarium,
quae utenda vasa semper vicini rogant,
fures venisse atque abstulisse dicito
profecto in aedis meas me absente neminem
volo intro mitti. atque etiam hoc praedico tibi
si Bona Fortuna veniat, ne intro miseris 100
And then water--if anyone asks for water, tell him it’s
all run out. As for a knife, or an axe, or a pestle, or a
mortar,--things the neighbours are all the time wanting to
borrow--tell ’em burglars got in and stole the whole lot.
I won’t have a living soul let into my house while I’m
agone--there! Yes, and what’s more, listen here, if Dame
Fortune herself comes along, don’t you let her in.
Staph.
Pol ea ipsa credo ne intro mittatur cavet,
nam ad aedis nostras numquam adit, quamquam prope est.
Goodness me, she won’t get in: she’ll see to that herself,
I fancy. Why, she never comes to our house at all, no matter
how near she is.
Eucl.
Tace atque abi intro.
Keep still and go inside. (_advances on her_)
Staph.
Taceo atque abeo.
(_hurrying out of reach_) I’m still, sir, I’m going!
Eucl.
Occlude sis
fores ambobus pessulis. iam ego hic ero.
Mind you lock the door, both bolts. I’ll soon be back.
[EXIT _Staphyla_ INTO HOUSE.
discrucior animi, quia ab domo abeundum est mihi.
nimis hercle invitus abeo. sed quid agam scio.
nam noster nostrae qui est magister curiae
dividere argenti dixit nummos in viros,
id si relinquo ac non peto, omnes ilico
me suspicentur, credo habere aurum domi. 110
nam non est veri simile, hominem pauperem
pauxillum parvi facere quin nummum petat.
It’s agony having to leave the house, downright agony.
Oh my God, how I do hate to go! But I have my reasons. The
director of our ward gave notice he was going to make us a
present of two shillings a man; and the minute I let it pass
without putting in my claim, they’d all be suspecting I had
gold at home, I’m sure they would. No, it doesn’t look
natural for a poor man to think so little of even a tiny
bit of money as not to go ask for his two shillings.
nam nunc cum celo sedulo omnis, ne sciant,
omnes videntur scire et me benignius
omnes salutant quam salutabant prius;
adeunt, consistunt, copulantur dexteras,
rogitant me ut valeam, quid agam, quid rerum geram.
nunc quo profectus sum ibo; postidea domum
me rursum quantum potero tantum recipiam.
Why, even now, hard as I try to keep every one from finding
out, it seems as if every one knew: it seems as if every one
has a heartier way of saying good day than they used to. Up
they come, and stop, and shake hands, and keep asking me
how I’m feeling, and how I’m getting on, and what I’m doing.
Well, I must get along to where I’m bound; and then I’ll
come back home just as fast as I possibly can.
[EXIT _Euclio_
ACTVS II
ACT II
ENTER _Eunomia_ AND _Megadorus_ FROM LATTER’S HOUSE
Eun.
Velim te arbitrari med haec verba, frater, 120
meai fidei tuaique rei
causa facere, ut aequom est germanam sororem.
quamquam haud falsa sum nos odiosas haberi;
nam multum loquaces merito omnes habemur,
nec mutam profecto repertam ullam esse
aut hodie dicunt mulierem aut ullo in saeclo.
Brother, I do hope you’ll believe I say this out of my
loyalty to you and for your welfare, as a true sister
should. Of course I’m well enough aware you men think us
women are a bother; yes, awful chatterboxes--that’s the name
we all have, and (_ruefully_) it fits. And then that
common saying, “Never now, nor through the ages, never any
woman dumb.”
verum hoc, frater, unum tamen cogitato,
tibi proximam me mihique esse item te;
ita aequom est quod in rem esse utrique arbitremur
et mihi te et tibi me consulere et monere; 130
neque occultum id haberi neque per metum mussari,
quin participem pariter ego te et tu me ut facias,
eo nunc ego secreto ted huc foras seduxi,
ut tuam rem ego tecum hic loquerer familiarem.
But just the same, do remember this one thing, brother,--
that I am closer to you and you to me than anyone else in
the whole world. So both of us ought to advise and counsel
each other as to what we feel is to either’s advantage, not
keep such things back or be afraid to speak out openly, we
ought to confide in one another fully, you and I. This is
why I’ve taken you aside out here now--so that we can have
a quiet talk on a matter that concerns you intimately.
Mega.
Da mi, optuma femina, manum.
(_warmly_) Let’s have your hand, you best of women!
Eun.
Ubi ea est? quis ea est nam optuma?
(_pretending to look about_) Where is she? Who on earth is
that best of women?
Mega.
Tu.
Yourself.
Eun.
Tune ais?
You say that--you?
Mega.
Si negas, nego.
(_banteringly_) Oh well, if you deny it--
Eun.
Decet te equidem vera proloqui;
nam optuma nulla potest eligi:
alia alia peior, frater, est.
Really now, you ought to be truthful. There’s no such
thing, you know, as picking out the best woman; it’s only a
question of comparative badness, brother.
Mega.
Idem ego arbitror, 140
nec tibi advorsari certum est de istac re umquam, soror.
My own opinion precisely. I’ll never differ with you there,
sister, you may count on that.
Eun.
Da mihi operam amabo.
Now do give me your attention, there’s a dear.
Mega.
Tuast, utere atque impera, si quid vis.
It is all your own; use me, command me--anything you wish.
Eun.
Id quod in rem tuam optumum esse arbitror, ted id monitum advento.
I’m going to advise you to do something that I think will be
the very best thing in the world for you.
Mega
Soror, more tuo facis.
Quite like you, sister.
Eun.
Factum volo.
I certainly hope so.
Mega.
Quid est id, soror?
And what is this something, my dear?
Eun.
Quod tibi sempiternum
salutare sit: liberis procreandis--
ita di faxint--volo te uxorem
domum ducere.
Something that will make for your everlasting welfare. You
should have children. God grant you may!--and I want you to
marry.
Mega.
Ei occidi.
Oh-h-h, murder!
Eun.
Quid ita? 150
How so?
Mega.
Quia mihi misero cerebrum excutiunt
tua dicta, soror: lapides loqueris.
Well, you’re knocking my poor brains out with such a
proposition, my dear girl: you’re talking cobble-stones.
Eun.
Heia, hoc face quod te iubet soror.
Now, now, do what your sister tells you.
Mega.
Si lubeat, faciam.
I would, if it appealed to me.
Eun.
In rem hoc tuam est.
It would be a good thing for you.
Mega.
Ut quidem emoriar prius quam ducam.
sed his legibus si quam dare vis ducam:
quae cras veniat, perendie foras feratur;
his legibus dare vis? cedo: nuptias adorna.
Yes--to die before marrying. (_pause_) All right. I’ll marry
anyone you please, on this condition, though: her wedding
to-morrow, and her wake the day after. Still wish it, on
this condition? Produce her! Arrange for the
festivities!
Eun.
Cum maxima possum tibi, frater, dare dote;
sed est grandior natu: media est mulieris aetas.
eam si iubes, frater, tibi me poscere, poscam. 160
I can get you one with ever so big a dowry, dear. To be
sure, she’s not a young girl--middle-aged, as a matter of
fact. I’ll see about it for you, brother, if you want.
Mega.
Num non vis me interrogare te?
You don’t mind my asking you a question, I dare say?
Eun.
Immo, si quid vis, roga.
Why, of course not; anything you like.
Mega.
Post mediam aetatem qui media ducit uxorem domum,
si eam senex anum praegnatem fortuito fecerit,
quid dubitas, quin sit paratum nomen puero Postumus?
Now supposing a man pretty well on in life marries a lady
of maturity and this aged female should happen to show
intentions of making the old fellow a father--can you doubt
but that the name in store for that youngster is Postumus?[A]
[Footnote A: The last born, or born after the father’s
death.]
nunc ego istum, soror, laborem demam et deminuam tibi.
ego virtute deum et maiorum nostrum dives sum satis.
istas magnas factiones, animos, dotes dapsiles,
clamores, imperia, eburata vehicla, pallas, purpuram,
nil moror quae in servitutem sumptibus redigunt viros.
See here, sister, I’ll relieve you of all this and save
you trouble. I’m rich enough, thanks be to heaven and our
forbears. And I have no fancy at all for those ladies of
high station and hauteur and fat dowries, with their
shouting and their ordering and their ivory trimmed
carriages and their purple and fine linen that cost a
husband his liberty.
Eun.
Dic mihi, quaeso, quis ea est quam vis ducere uxorem?
For mercy’s sake tell me who you do want to marry, then!
Mega.
Eloquar. 170
nostin hunc senem Euclionem ex proximo pauperculum?
I’m going to. You know the old gentleman--rather hard up,
poor fellow,--that lives next door, Euclio?
Eun.
Novi, hominem haud malum mecastor.
Yes indeed. Why, he seems quite nice.
Mega.
Eius cupio filiam
virginem mihi desponderi. verba ne facias, soror.
scio quid dictura es: hanc esse pauperem. haec pauper placet.
It’s his daughter--there’s the engagement I’m eager for. Now
don’t make a fuss, sister. I know what you’re about to say--
that she’s poor. But this particular poor girl suits me.
Eun.
Di bene vortant.
God’s blessing on your choice, dear!
Mega.
Idem ego spero.
I trust so.
Eun.
Quid me? num quid vis?
(_about to leave_) Well, there’s nothing I can do?
Mega.
Vale.
Yes--take good care of yourself.
Eun.
Et tu, frater.
You too, brother. [EXIT _Eunomia_.
Mega.
Ego conveniam Euclionem, si domi est.
sed eccum video. nescio unde sese homo recipit domum.
Now for an interview with Euclio, if he’s at home.
(_looking down street_) Hullo, though! here he is! Just
getting back from somewhere or other.
II. 2.
Scene 2.
ENTER _Euclio._
Eucl.
Praesagibat mi animus frustra me ire, quom exibam domo;
itaque abibam invitus; nam neque quisquam curialium
venit neque magister quem dividere argentum oportuit. 180
nunc domum properare propero, nam egomet sum hic, animus domi est.
(_without seeing Megadorus_) I knew it! Something told me I
was going on a fool’s errand when I left the house; that’s
why I hated to go. Why, there wasn’t a single man of our
ward there, or the director either, who ought to have
distributed the money. Now I’ll hurry up and hurry home:
I’m here in the body, but that’s where my mind is.
Mega.
Salvos atque fortunatus, Euclio, semper sies.
(_advancing with outstretched hand_) Good day to you,
Euclio, yes, and the best of everything to you always!
Eucl.
Di te ament, Megadore.
(_taking hand gingerly_) God bless you, Megadorus.
Mega.
Quid tu? recten atque ut vis vales?
How goes it? All right, are you? Feeling as well as you
could wish?
Eucl.
Non temerarium est, ubi dives blande appellat pauperem.
iam illic homo aurum scit me habere, eo me salutat blandius.
(_aside_) There’s something behind it when a rich man puts
on that smooth air with a poor one. Now that fellow knows
I’ve got gold: that’s why he’s so uncommon smooth with his
salutations.
Mega.
Ain tu te valere?
You say you are well?
Eucl.
Pol ego haud perbene a pecunia.
Heavens, no: I feel low, very low--in funds.
Mega.
Pol si est animus aequos tibi. sat habes qui bene vitam colas.
(_cheerily_) Well, well, man, if you have a contented mind,
you’ve got enough to enjoy life with.
Eucl.
Anus hercle huic indicium fecit de auro, perspicue palam est.
cui ego iam linguam praecidam atque oculos effodiam domi.
(_aside, frightened_) Oh, good Lord! The old woman has let
on to him about the gold! It’s discovered, clear as can be!
I’ll cut her tongue out, I’ll tear her eyes out, the minute
I get at her in the house!
Mega.
Quid tu solus tecum loquere?
What is that you’re saying to yourself?
Eucl.
Meam pauperiem conqueror. 190
virginem habeo grandem, dote cassam atque inlocabilem,
neque eam queo locare cuiquam.
(_startled_) Just ... how awful it is to be poor. And I with
a grown-up girl, without a penny of dowry, that I can’t get
off my hands or find a husband for.
Mega.
Tace, bonum habe animum, Euclio.
dabitur, adiuvabere a me. dic, si quid opust, impera.
(_clapping him on the back_) There, there, Euclio! Cheer up.
She shall be married: I’ll help you out. Come now, call on
me, if you need anything.
Eucl.
Nunc petit, cum pollicetur; inhiat aurum ut devoret.
altera manu fert lapidem, panem ostentat altera.
nemini credo qui large blandust dives pauperi
ubi manum inicit benigne, ibi onerat aliqua zamia
ego istos novi polypos, qui ubi quidquid tetigerunt tenent.
(_aside_) When he agrees to give he wants to grab! Mouth
wide open to gobble down my gold! Holds up a bit of bread in
one hand and has a stone in the other! I don’t trust one of
these rich fellows when he’s so monstrous civil to a poor
man. They give you a cordial handshake, and squeeze
something out of you at the same time. I know all about
those octopuses that touch a thing and then--stick.
Mega.
Da mi operam parumper. paucis, Euclio, est quod te volo
de communi re appellare mea et tua.
I should be glad to have a moment of your time, Euclio.
I want to have a brief talk with you on a matter that
concerns us both.
Eucl.
Ei misero mihi, 200
aurum mi intus harpagatum est. nunc hic eam rem volt scio,
mecum adire ad pactionem. verum intervisam domum.
(_aside_) Oh, God save us! My gold’s been hooked, and now he
wants to make a deal with me! I see it all! But I’ll go in
and look. (_hurries toward house_)
Mega.
Quo abis?
Where are you off to?
Eucl.
Iam ad te revortar. nunc est quod visam domum.
Just a moment!... I’ll be back ... the fact is ... I must
see to something at home. [EXIT INTO HOUSE.
Mega.
Credo edepol, ubi mentionem ego fecero de filia
mi ut despondeat, sese a me derideri rebitur,
neque illo quisquam est alter hodie ex paupertate parcior.
By Jove! I suppose he’ll think I’m making fun of him when I
speak about his giving me his daughter; poverty never made a
fellow closer-fisted.
RE-ENTER _Euclio_
Eucl.
Di me servant, salva res est. salvom est si quid non perit
nimis male timui. prius quam intro redii, exanimatus fui.
redeo ad te, Megadore, si quid me vis.
(_aside_) Thank the Lord, I’m saved! It’s safe--that is, if
it’s all there. Ah, but that was a dreadful moment! I nearly
expired before I got in the house. (_to Megadorus_) Here I
am, Megadorus, if you want anything of me.
Mega.
Habeo gratiam.
quaeso, quod te percontabor, ne id te pigeat pro loqui. 210
Thanks. Now I trust you won’t mind answering the questions
I’m going to ask.
Eucl.
Dum quidem ne quid perconteris quod non lubeat proloqui.
(_cautiously_) No-no--that is, if you don’t ask any I don’t
like to answer.
Mega.
Dic mihi. quali me arbitrare genere prognatum?
Frankly now, what do you think of my family connections?
Eucl.
Bono.
(_grudgingly_) Good.
Mega.
Quid fide?
And my sense of honour?
Eucl.
Bona.
Good.
Mega.
Quid factis?
And my general conduct?
Eucl.
Neque malis neque improbis.
Not bad, not disreputable.
Mega.
Aetatem meam scis?
You know my age?
Eucl.
Scio esse grandem, item ut pecuniam.
Getting on, getting on, I know that--(_aside_) financially, too.
Mega.
Certe edepol equidem te civem sine mala omni malitia
semper sum arbitratus et nunc arbitror.
Now Euclio, I’ve always considered you a citizen of the
true, trusty type, by Jove, I certainly have, and I do
still.
Eucl.
Aurum huic olet.
quid nunc me vis?
(_aside_) He’s got a whiff of my gold. (_aloud_) Well, what
do you want?
Mega.
Quoniam tu me et ego te qualis sis scio.
quae res recte vortat mihique tibique tuaeque filiae,
filiam tuam mi uxorem posco. promitte hoc fore.
Now that we appreciate each other, I’m going to ask you--and
may it turn out happily for you and your girl and me--to
give me your daughter in marriage. Promise you will.
Eucl.
Heia, Megadore, haud decorum facinus tuis factis facis, 220
ut inopem atque innoxium abs te atque abs tuis me inrideas.
nam de te neque re neque verbis merui ut faceres quod facis.
(_whining_) Now, now, Megadorus! This is unlike you,
unworthy of you, making fun of a poor man like me that never
harmed you or yours. Why, I never said or did a thing to you
to deserve being treated so.
Mega.
Neque edepol ego te derisum venio neque derideo,
neque dignum arbitror.
Good Lord, man! I didn’t come here to make fun of you, and
I’m not making fun of you: I couldn’t think of such a thing.
Eucl.
Cur igitur poscis meam gnatam tibi?
Then why are you asking for my daughter?
Mega.
Ut propter me tibi sit melius mihique propter te et tuos.
Why? So that we may all of us make life pleasanter for one
another.
Eucl.
Venit hoc mihi, Megadore, in mentem, ted esse hominem divitem,
factiosum, me autem esse hominem pauperum pauperrimum;
nunc si filiam locassim meam tibi, in mentem venit
te bovem esse et me esse asellum: ubi tecum coniunctus siem,
ubi onus nequeam ferre pariter, iaceam ego asinus in luto, 230
tu me bos magis haud respicias, gnatus quasi numquam siem.
Now here’s the way it strikes me, Megadorus,--you’re a rich
man, a man of position: but as for me, I’m poor, awfully
poor, dreadfully poor. Now if I was to marry off my daughter
to you, it strikes me you’d be the ox and I’d be the donkey.
When I was hitched up with you and couldn’t pull my share of
the load, down I’d drop, I, the donkey, in the mud; and you,
the ox, wouldn’t pay any more attention to me than if I’d
never been born at all.
et te utar iniquiore et meus me ordo inrideat,
neutrubi habeam stabile stabulum, si quid divorti fuat:
asini me mordicibus scindant, boves incursent cornibus.
hoc magnum est periclum, ab asinis ad boves transcendere.
You would be too much for me: and my own kind would haw-haw
at me: and if there should be a falling out, neither party
would let me have stable quarters: the donkeys would chew me
up and the oxen would run me through. It is a very hazardous
business for donkeys to climb into the ox set.
Mega.
Quam ad probos propinquitate proxime te adiunxeris.
tam optumum est. tu condicionem hanc accipe, ausculta mihi,
atque eam desponde mi.
But honourable human beings--the more closely connected you
are with them, the better. Come, come, accept my offer:
listen to what I say and promise her to me.
Eucl.
At nihil est dotis quod dem.
But not one penny of dowry can I give.
Mega.
Ne duas.
dum modo morata recte veniat, dotata est satis.
Don’t. Only let me have a girl that’s good, and she has
dowry enough.
Eucl.
Eo dico, ne me thensauros repperisse censeas. 240
(_forcing a laugh_) I mention this just so that you mayn’t
think I’ve found some treasure.
Mega.
Novi, ne doceas. desponde.
Yes, yes, I understand. Promise.
Eucl.
Fiat. sed pro Iuppiter,
num ego disperii?
So be it. (_aside, starting at noise_) Oh, my God! Can it be
I’m ruined, ruined?
Mega.
Quid tibi est?
What’s the matter?
Eucl.
Quid crepuit quasi ferrum modo?
That noise? What was it--a sort of clinking sound?
[EXIT INTO HOUSE HURRIEDLY.
Mega.
Hic apud me hortum confodere iussi. sed ubi hic est homo?
abiit neque me certiorem fecit. fastidit mei,
quia videt me suam amicitiam velle. more hominum facit;
nam si opulentus it petitum pauperioris gratiam,
pauper metuit congrediri, per metum male rem gerit.
idem, quando occasio illaec periit, post sero cupit.
(_not noticing his departure_) I told them to do some
digging in my garden here. (_looking around_) But where
is the man? Gone away and left me--without a word! Scorns
me, now he sees I desire his friendship! Quite the usual
thing, that. Yes, let a wealthy man try to get the regard
of a poorer one, and the poor one is afraid to meet him
half-way: his timidity makes him injure his own interests.
Then when it’s too late and the opportunity is gone he
longs to have it again.
RE-ENTER _Euclio._
Eucl.
Si hercle ego te non elinguandam dedero usque ab radicibus, 250
impero auctorque ego sum, ut tu me cuivis castrandum loces.
(_to Staphyla within_) By heaven, if I don’t have your
tongue torn out by the very roots, I give you orders, give
you full authority, to hand me over to anyone you please to
be skinned alive. (_approaches Megadorus_)
Mega.
Video hercle ego te me arbitrari, Euclio, hominem idoneum,
quem senecta aetate ludos facias, haud merito meo.
Upon my word, Euclio! So you think I am the proper sort of
man to make a fool of, at my time of life, and without the
slightest reason.
Eucl.
Neque edepol, Megadore, facio, neque. si cupiam, copia est.
Bless my soul! I’m not making a fool of you, Megadorus:
I couldn’t if I would.
Mega.
Quid nunc? etiam mihi despondes filiam?
(_doubtfully_) Well now, do you mean I am to have your
daughter?
Eucl.
Illis legibus,
cum illa dote quam tibi dixi.
On the understanding she goes with the dowry I mentioned.
Mega.
Sponden ergo?
You consent, then?
Eucl.
Spondeo.
I consent.
Mega.
Di bene vertant.
And may God prosper us!
Eucl.
Ita di faxint. illud facito ut memineris
convenisse ut ne quid dotis mea ad te afferret filia.
Yes, yes,--and mind you remember our agreement about the
dowry: she doesn’t bring you a single penny.
Mega.
Memini.
I remember.
Eucl.
At scio quo vos soleatis pacto perplexarier.
pactum non pactum est, non pactum pactum est, quod vobis lubet. 260
But I know the way you folks have of juggling things: now
it’s on and now it’s off, now it’s off and now it’s on, just
as you like.
Mega.
Nulla controversia mihi tecum erit. sed nuptias
num quae causa est quin faciamus hodie?
You shall have no occasion to quarrel with me. But about the
marriage--there’s no reason for not having it to-day, is
there?
Eucl.
Immo edepol optuma.
Dear, dear, no! The very thing, the very thing!
Mega.
Ibo igitur, parabo. numquid me vis?
I’ll go and make arrangements, then, (_turning to leave_)
Anything else I can do?
Eucl.
Istuc. ei et vale.
Only that. Go along. Good-bye.
Mega.
Heus, Pythodice, sequere propere me ad macellum strenue.
(_calling at the door of his house_) Hey, Pythodicus! quick!
[_ENTER Pythodicus_] Down to the market with me--come, look
alive! [EXEUNT.
Eucl.
Illic hinc abiit. di immortales, obsecro, aurum quid valet.[1] (265)
id inhiat, ea affinitatem hanc obstinavit gratia. (267)
Ubi tu es, quae deblateravisti iam vicinis omnibus,
meae me filiae daturum dotem? heus, Staphyla, te voco.
ecquid audis?
(_looking after them_) He’s gone! Ah, ye immortal gods,
doesn’t money count! That is what he’s gaping after. That is
why he’s so set on being my son-in-law. (_goes to the door
and calls_) Where are you, you blabber, telling the whole
neighbourhood I’m going to give my daughter a dowry! Hi-i!
Staphyla! It’s you I’m calling. Can’t you hear!
II. 3.
Scene 3.
ENTER _Staphyla_.
Eucl.
Vascula intus pure propera atque elue: 270
filiam despondi ego: hodie huic nuptum Megadoro dabo.
Hurry up with the dishes inside there and give them a good
scouring. I have betrothed my daughter: she marries
Megadorus here to-day.
Staph.
Di bene vortant. verum ecastor non potest, subitum est nimis.
God bless them! (_hastily_) Goodness, though! It can’t be
done. This is too sudden.
Eucl.
Tace atque abi. curata fac sint cum a foro redeam domum;
atque aedis occlude; iam ego hic adero.
Silence! Off with you! Have things ready by the time I get
back from the forum. And lock the door, mind; I shall be
here soon. [EXIT Euclio.
Staph.
Quid ego nunc agam?
nunc nobis prope adest exitium, mi atque erili filiae,
nunc probrum atque partitudo prope adest ut fiat palam;
quod celatum atque occultatum est usque adhuc, nunc non potest.
ibo intro, ut erus quae imperavit facta, cum veniat, sient.
nam ecastor malum maerore metuo ne mixtum bibam.
What shall I do now? Now we’re all but ruined, the young
mistress and me: now it’s all but public property about her
being disgraced and brought to bed. We can’t conceal it, we
can’t keep it dark any longer now. But I must go in and do
what master ordered me before he gets back. Oh deary me! I’m
afraid I’ve got to take a drink of trouble and tribulation
mixed. [EXIT _Staphyla_ INTO HOUSE.
II. 4.
Scene 4.
(_An hour has elapsed._)
ENTER _Pythodicus_ BRINGING COOKS, _Anthrax_ AND _Congrio_,
MUSIC GIRLS, _Phrygia_ AND _Eleusium_, AND ATTENDANTS, WITH
PROVISIONS FROM THE MARKET AND TWO LAMBS.
Pyth.
Postquam obsonavit erus et conduxit coquos 280
tibicinasque hasce apud forum, edixit mihi
ut dispertirem obsonium hic bifariam.
(_importantly_) After master did the marketing and hired the
cooks and these music girls at the forum, he told me to take
and divide all he’d got into two parts.
Anthr.
Me quidem hercle, dicam tibi palam, non divides.
si quo tu totum me ire vis, operam dabo.
By Jupiter, you shan’t make two parts of me, let me tell you
that plainly! If you’d like to have the whole of me
anywhere, why, I’ll accommodate you.
Cong.
Bellum et pudicum vero prostibulum popli.
post si quis vellet, te hand non velles dividi.
(_to Anthrax_) You pretty boy, yes, you nice little
everybody’s darling, you! Why, if anyone wanted to make two
parts of a real man out of you, you oughtn’t to be cut up
about it.
Pyth.
Atque ego istuc, Anthrax, alio vorsum dixeram,
non istuc quo tu insimulas. sed erus nuptias
meus hodie faciet.
Now, now, Anthrax, I mean that otherwise from what you make
out. Look here, my master’s marrying to-day.
Anthr.
Cuius ducit filiam?
Who’s the lady?
Pyth.
Vicini huius Euclionis senis e proximo. 290
ei adeo obsoni hinc iussit dimidium dari,
cocum alterum itidemque alteram tibicinam.
Daughter of old Euclio that lives next door here. Yes sir,
and what’s more, he’s to have half this stuff here, and one
cook and one music girl, too, so master said.
Anthr.
Nempe huc dimidium dicis, dimidium domum?
You mean to say half goes to him and half to you folks?
Pyth.
Nempe sicut dicis.
Just what I do mean.
Anthr.
Quid? hic non poterat de suo
senex obsonari filiai nuptiis?
I say, couldn’t the old boy pay for the catering for his
daughter’s wedding his own self?
Pyth.
Vah.
(_scornfully_) Pooh!
Anthr.
Quid negotist?
What’s the matter?
Pyth.
Quid negoti sit rogas?
pumex non aeque est aridus atque hic est senex.
The matter, eh? You couldn’t squeeze as much out of that old
chap as you could out of a pumice stone.
Anthr.
Ain tandem?
(_incredulously_) Oh, really now!
Pyth.
Ita esse ut dixi. tute existuma:
quin divom atque hominum clamat continue fidem,[2]
suam rem periisse seque eradicarier, 300
de suo tigillo fumus si qua exit foras.
quin cum it dormitum, follem obstringit ob gulam.
That’s a fact. Judge for yourself. Why, I tell you he begins
bawling for heaven and earth to witness that he’s bankrupt,
gone to everlasting smash, the moment a puff of smoke from
his beggarly fire manages to get out of his house. Why, when
he goes to bed he strings a bag over his jaws.
Anthr.
Cur?
What for?
Pyth.
Ne quid animae forte amittat dormiens.
So as not to chance losing any breath when he’s asleep.
Anthr.
Etiamue obturat inferiorem gutturem,
ne quid animai forte amittat dormiens?
Oh yes! And he puts a stopper on his lower windpipe, doesn’t
he, so as not to chance losing any breath while he’s asleep?
Pyth.
Haec mihi te ut tibi med aequom est, credo, credere.
(_ingenuously_) You should believe me, I believe, just
as I should believe you.
Anthr.
Immo equidem credo.
(_hurriedly_) Oh, no, no! I do believe, of course!
Pyth.
At scin etiam quomodo?
aquam hercle plorat, cum lavat, profundere.
But listen to this, will you? Upon my word, after he takes a
bath it just breaks him all up to throw away the water.
Anthr.
Censen talentum magnum exorari pote
ab istoc sene ut det, qui fiamus liberi? 310
D’ye think the old buck could be induced to make us a
present of a couple of hundred pounds to buy ourselves off
with?
Pyth.
Famem hercle utendam si roges, numquam dabit.
quin ipsi pridem tonsor unguis dempserat:
collegit, omnia abstulit praesegmina.
Lord! He wouldn’t make you a loan of his hunger, no sir, not
if you begged him for it. Why, the other day when a barber
cut his nails for him he collected all the clippings and
took ’em home.
Anthr.
Edepol mortalem parce parcum praedicas.
My goodness, he’s quite a tight one, from what you say.
Pyth.
Censen vero adeo esse parcum et miserum vivere?
pulmentum pridem ei eripuit milvos:
homo ad praetorem plorabundus devenit;
infit ibi postulare plorans, eiulans,
ut sibi liceret milvom vadarier.
sescenta sunt quae memorem, si sit otium. 320
sed uter vestrorum est celerior? memora mihi.
Honest now, would you believe a man could be so tight and
live so wretched? Once a kite flew off with a bit of food of
his: down goes the fellow to the magistrate’s, blubbering
all the way, and there he begins, howling and yowling,
demanding to have the kite bound over for trial. Oh, I could
tell hundreds of stories about him if I had time. (_to both
cooks_) But which of you is the quicker? Tell me that.
Anthr.
Ego, et multo melior.
I am, and a whole lot better, too.
Pyth.
Cocum ego, non furem rogo.
At cooking I mean, not thieving.
Anthr.
Cocum ergo dico.
Well, I mean cooking.
Pyth.
Quid tu ais?
(_to Congrio_) And how about you?
Cong.
Sic sum ut vides.
(_with a meaning glance at Anthrax_) I’m what I look.
Anthr.
Cocus ille nundinalest, in nonum diem
solet ire coctum.
He’s nothing but a market-day cook, that chap: he only gets
a job once a week.
Cong.
Tun, trium litterarum homo
me vituperas? fur.
You running me down, you? You five letter man, you! You
T-H-I-E-F!
Anthr.
Etiam fur, trifurcifer.
Five letter man youself! Yes, and five times--penned!
II. 5.
Scene 5.
Pyth.
Tace nunciam tu, atque agnum hinc uter est pinguior
cape atque abi intro ad nos.
(_to Anthrax_) Come, come, shut up, you: and this fattest
lamb here, (_pointing_) take it and go over to our house.
Anthr.
Licet.
(_grinning triumphantly at Congrio_) Aye, aye, sir.
[EXIT _Anthrax_ INTO HOUSE OF _Megadorus_ LEADING LAMB.
Pyth.
Tu, Congrio,
quem illic reliquit agnum, eum sume atque abi
[3]intro illuc, et vos illum sequimini.
vos ceteri ite huc ad nos.
Congrio, you take this one he’s left (_pointing_) and go
into that house there, (_pointing to Euclio’s_) and as for
you, (_indicating some of the attendants_) you follow him.
The rest of you come over to our house.
Cong.
Hercle iniuria 330
dispertivisti: pinguiorem agnum isti habent.
Hang it! That’s no way to divide: they’ve got the fattest
lamb.
Pyth.
At nunc tibi dabitur pinguior tibicina.
i sane cum illo, Phrugia. tu autem, Eleusium,
huc intro abi ad nos.
Oh well, I’ll give you the fattest music girl. (_turning to
girls_) That means you, Phrygia: you go with him. As for
you, Eleusium, you step over to our place.
[EXEUNT _Eleusium_ AND OTHERS INTO HOUSE OF _Megadorus_.
Cong.
O Pythodice subdole,
hucine detrusti me ad senem parcissimum?
ubi si quid poscam, usque ad ravim poscam prius
quam quicquam detur.
Oh, you’re a wily one, Pythodicus! Shoving me off on this
old screw, eh? If I ask for anything there, I can ask myself
hoarse before I get a thing.
Pyth.
Stultus et sine gratia es.
[4]tibi recte facere, quando quod facias perit.
An ungrateful blockhead is what you are. The idea of doing
you a favour, when it’s only thrown away!
Cong.
Qui vero?
Eh? How so?
Pyth.
Rogitas? iam principio in aedibus
turba istic nulla tibi erit: siquid uti voles, 340
domo abs te adferto, ne operam perdas poscere.
his autem apud nos magna turba ac familia est
supellex, aurum, vestis, vasa argentea:
How so? Well, in the first place there won’t be an
uproarious gang in that house to get in your way: if you
need anything, just you fetch it from home so as not to
waste time asking for it. Here at our establishment, though,
we do have a great big uproarious gang of servants, and
knick-knackery and jewellery and clothes and silver plate
lying about.
ibi si perierit quippiam--quod te scio
facile abstinere posse, si nihil obviam est--
dicant: coqui abstulerunt, comprehendite,
vincite, verberate, in puteum condite.
horum tibi istic nihil eveniet: quippe qui
ubi quid subripias nihil est. sequere hac me.
Now if anything was missing,--of course it’s easy for you
to keep your hands off, provided there’s nothing in reach,--
they’d say: “The cooks got away with it! Collar ’em! Tie ’em
up! Thrash ’em! Throw ’em in the dungeon!” Now over there
(_pointing to Euclio’s_) nothing like this will happen to
you--as there’s nothing at all about for you to filch.
(_going toward Euclio’s house_) Come along.
Cong.
Sequor.
(_sulkily_) Coming. (_he and the rest follow_)
II. 6.
Scene 6.
Pyth.
Heus, Staphyla, prodi atque ostium aperi.
(_knocking at door_) Hey! Staphyla! Come here and open the
door.
Staph.
Qui vocat? 350
(_within_) Who is it?
Pyth.
Pythodicus.
Pythodicus.
Staph.
Quid vis?
(_sticking her head out_) What do you want?
Pyth.
Hos ut accipias coquos
tibicinamque obsoniumque in nuptias.
Megadorus iussit Euclioni haec mittere.
Take these cooks and the music girl and the supplies for the
wedding festival. Megadorus told us to take ’em over to
Euclio’s.
Staph.
Cererin, Pythodice, has sunt facturi nuptias?
(_examining the provisions disappointedly_) Whose festival
are they going to celebrate, Pythodicus? Ceres’?
Pyth.
Qui?
Why hers?
Staph.
Quia temeti nihil allatum intellego.
Well, no tipple’s[B] been brought, as I notice.
[Footnote B: The use of wine was forbidden at the festival
called the _Cereris nuptiae_.]
Pyth.
At iam afferetur, si a foro ipsus redierit.
But there’ll be some all right when the old gent gets back
from the forum.
Staph.
Ligna hic apud nos nulla sunt.
We haven’t got any firewood in the house.
Cong.
Sunt asseres?
Any rafters in it?
Staph
Sunt pol.
Mercy, yes.
Cong.
Sunt igitur ligna, ne quaeras foris.
There’s firewood in it, then: never mind going for any.
Staph.
Quid, impurate? quamquam Volcano studes,
cenaene causa aut tuae mercedis gratia 360
nos nostras aedis postulas comburere?
Hey? You godless thing! even though you are a devotee of
Vulcan, do you want us to burn our house down, all for your
dinner or your pay? (_advances on him_)
Cong.
Haud postulo.
(_shrinking back_) I don’t, I don’t!
Pyth.
Duc istos intro.
Take ’em inside.
Staph.
Sequimini.
(_brusquely_) This way with you.
[EXEUNT _Congrio_ AND OTHERS INTO _Euclio’s_ HOUSE.
II. 7.
Scene 7.
Pyth.
Curate. ego intervisam quid faciant coqui;
quos pol ut ego hodie servem, cura maxuma est.
nisi unum hoc faciam, ut in puteo cenam coquant:
inde coctam sursum subducemus corbulis.
(_as they leave_) Look out for things. (_starting for
Megadorus’s house_) I’ll go see what the cooks are at. By
gad, it’s the devil’s own job keeping an eye on those chaps.
The only way is to make ’em cook dinner in the dungeon and
then haul it up in baskets when it’s done.
si autem deorsum comedent, si quid coxerint,
superi incenati sunt et cenati inferi.
sed verba hic facio, quasi negoti nil siet,
rapacidarum ubi tantum sit in aedibus. 370
Even so, though, if they’re down there gobbling up all they
cook, it’s a case of starve in heaven and stuff in hell.
But here I am gabbling away just as if there wasn’t anything
to do, and the house all full of those young Grabbits.
[EXIT _Pythodicus._
II. 8.
Scene 8.
ENTER _Euclio_ FROM FORUM CARRYING A SMALL PACKAGE AND A FEW
FORLORN FLOWERS.
Eucl.
Volui animum tandem confirmare hodie meum,
ut bene me haberem filiai nuptiis.
venio ad macellum, rogito pisces: indicant
caros; agninam caram, caram bubulam,
vitulinam, cetum, porcinam: cara omnia.
atque eo fuerunt cariora, aes non erat.
abeo iratus illinc, quoniam nihil est qui emam.
Now I did want to be hearty to-day, and do the handsome
thing for daughter’s wedding, yes I did. Off I go to the
market--ask for fish! Very dear! And lamb dear... and beef
dear... and veal and tunny and pork... everything dear,
everything! Yes, and all the dearer for my not having any
money! It just made me furious, and seeing I couldn’t buy
anything, I up and left.
ita illis impuris omnibus adii manum.
deinde egomet mecum cogitare intervias
occepi: festo die si quid prodegeris, 380
profesto egere liceat, nisi peperceris.
postquam, hanc rationem ventri cordique edidi,
accessit animus ad meam sententiam,
quam minimo sumptu filiam ut nuptum darem.
That’s how I circumvented ’em, the whole dirty pack of ’em.
Then I began to reason things out with myself as I walked
along. “Holiday feasting makes everyday fasting,” says I to
myself, “unless you economize.” After I’d put the case this
way to my stomach and heart, my mind supported my motion
to cut down daughter’s wedding expenses just as much as
possible.
nunc tusculum emi hoc et coronas floreas:
haec imponentur in foco nostro Lari,
ut fortunatas faciat gnatae nuptias.
sed quid ego apertas aedis nostras conspicor?
et strepitust intus. numnam ego compilor miser?
Now I’ve bought a little frankincense here and some wreaths
of flowers: we’ll put ’em on the hearth in honour of our
Household God, so that he may bless daughter’s marriage.
(_looking toward house_) Eh! What’s my door open for?
A clattering inside, too! Oh. mercy on us! It can’t be
burglars, can it?
Cong.
Aulam maiorem, si pote, ex vicinia 390
pete: haec est parva, capere non quit.
(_within, to an attendant_) See if you can’t get a bigger
pot from one of the neighbours: this here’s a little one:
it won’t hold it all.
Eucl.
Ei mihi,
perii hercle. aurum rapitur, aula quaeritur.[5] (392)
Apollo, quaeso, subveni mi atque adiuva, (394)
confige sagittis fures thensaurarios,
si cui in re tali iam subvenisti antidhac.
sed cesso prius quam prorsus perii currere?
Oh, my God! my God! I’m ruined! They’re taking my gold!
They’re after my pot! Oh, oh, Apollo, help me, save me!
Shoot your arrows through them, the treasure thieves, if
you’ve ever helped a man in such a pinch before! But I must
rush in before they ruin me entirely! [EXIT _Euclio_.
II. 9.
Scene 9.
ENTER _Anthrax_ FROM HOUSE OF _Megadorus_.
Anthr.
Dromo, desquama piscis. tu, Machaerio,
congrum, murenam exdorsua quantum potest.
ego hinc artoptam ex proximo utendam peto 400
a Congrione. tu istum gallum, si sapis,
glabriorem reddes mihi quam volsus ludiust.
(_to servants inside_) Dromo, scale the fish. As for you,
Machaerio, you bone the conger and lamprey as fast as you
know how. I’m going over next door to ask Congrio for the
loan of a bread pan. And you there! if you know what’s good
for you, you won’t hand me back that rooster till it’s
plucked cleaner than a ballet dancer.
sed quid hoc clamoris oritur hinc ex proximo?
coqui hercle, credo, faciunt officium suom.
fugiam intro, ne quid turbae hic itidem fuat.
(_sound of scuffle in Euclio’s house_) Hallo, though! What’s
the row in the house next door? Hm! the cooks settling down
to business, I reckon! I’ll hustle back, or we’ll be having
a rumpus at our place, too. [EXIT.
ACTVS III
ACT III
ENTER _Congrio_ AND HIS ASSOCIATES TUMBLING OUT OF
_Euclio’s_ HOUSE, SLAMMING DOOR BEHIND THEM.
Cong.
Attatae! cives,[6] populares, incolae, accolae, advenae omnes,
date viam qua fugere liceat. facite totae plateae pateant.
neque ego umquam nisi hodie ad Bacchas veni in Bacchanal coquinatum,
ita me miserum et meos discipulos fustibus male contuderunt.
totus doleo atque oppido perii,
ita me iste habuit senex gymnasium; 410
(_in burlesque panic_) Hi-i-i! Citizens, natives,
inhabitants, neighbours, foreigners, every one--give me
room to run! Open up! Clear the street! (_stopping at some
distance from the house_) This is the first time I ever came
to cook for Bacchantes at a Bacchante den. Oh dear, what an
awful clubbing I and my disciples did get! I’m one big ache!
I’m dead and gone! The way that old codger took me for a
gymnasium!
attat, perii hercle ego miser,
aperit bacchanal. adest, 411a
sequitur. scio quam rem geram: hoc
ipsus magister me docuit. 412a
neque ligna ego usquam gentium praeberi vidi pulchrius,
itaque omnis exegit foras, me atque hos, onustos fustibus.
(_Euclio’s door opens and he appears, cudgel in hand_) Oh--
ow--ow! Good Lord be merciful! I’m done for! He’s opening
the den; he’s at the door; he’s after me! I know what I’ll
do: (_retires_) he’s taught me my lesson, my master has.
I never in all my life saw a place where they were freer
handed with their wood: (_rubbing his shoulders_) why, when
he drove the lot of us out he let us have big sticks of it,
all we could stagger under.
III. 2.
Scene 2.
Eucl.
Redi. quo fugis nunc? tene, tene.
(_going into street_) Come back! Where are you running to
now? Stop him, stop him!
Cong.
Quid, stolide, clamas?
What are you yelling for, stupid?
Eucl.
Quia ad tris viros iam ego deferam nomen tuom.
Because I am going to report your name to the police this
instant.
Cong.
Quam ob rem?
Why?
Eucl.
Quia cultrum habes.
Well, you carry a knife.
Cong.
Cocum decet.
And so a cook should.
Eucl.
Quid comminatu’s
mihi?
And how about your threatening me?
Cong.
Istud male factum arbitror, quia non latus fodi.
It’s a pity I didn’t jab it through you, I’m thinking.
Eucl.
Homo nullust te scelestior qui vivat hodie
neque quoi ego de industria amplius male plus libens faxim. 420
There isn’t a more abandoned villain than you on the face of
the earth, or one I’d be gladder to go out of my way to
punish more, either.
Cong.
Pol etsi taceas, palam id quidem est: res ipsa testist;
ita fustibus sum mollior magis quam ullus cinaedus.
sed quid tibi nos tactiost, mendice homo?
Good Lord! That’s evident enough, even if you didn’t say so:
the facts speak for themselves. I’ve been clubbed till I’m
looser than any fancy dancer. Now what did you mean by
laying hands on me, you beggar?
Eucl.
Quae res?
etiam rogitas? an quia minus quam aequom erat feci?
What’s that? You dare ask me? Didn’t I do my duty by you--is
that it? (_lifts cudgel_)
Cong.
Sine, at hercle cum magno malo tuo, si hoc caput sentit.
(_backing away_) All right: but by gad, you’ll pay heavy for
it, or I’m a numskull.
Eucl.
Pol ego haud scio quid post fuat: tuom nunc caput sentit.
sed in aedibus quid tibi meis nam erat negoti
me absente, nisi ego iusseram? volo scire.
Hm! I don’t know anything about the future of your skull,
but (_chuckling and tapping his cudgel_) it must be numb
now. (_savagely_) See here, what the devil were you doing in
my house without my orders while I was gone? That’s what I
want to know.
Cong.
Tace ergo.
quia venimus coctum ad nuptias.
Well then, shut up. We came to cook for the wedding, that’s
all.
Eucl.
Quid tu, malum, curas,
utrum crudum an coctum ego edim, nisi tu mi es tutor? 430
And how does it concern you, curse you, whether I eat my
food cooked or take it raw--unless you are my guardian?
Cong.
Volo scire, sinas an non sinas nos coquere his cenam?
Are you going to let us cook dinner here or not? That’s what
I want to know.
Eucl.
Volo scire ego item, meae domi mean salva futura?
Yes, and I want to know whether my things at home will be
safe?
Cong.
Utinam mea mihi modo auferam, quae adtuli, salva:
me haud paenitet, tua ne expetam.
All I hope is I can get safe away with my own things that I
brought there. That’ll do for me: don’t worry about my
hankering for anything you own.
Eucl.
Scio, ne doce, novi.
(_incredulous_) I know. You needn’t go on. I quite
understand.
Cong.
Quid est qua prohibes nunc gratia nos coquere hic cenam?
quid fecimus, quid diximus tibi secus quam velles?
Why won’t you let us cook dinner here now? What have we
done? What have we said that you didn’t like?
Eucl.
Etiam rogitas, sceleste homo, qui angulos in omnis
mearum aedium et conclavium mihi pervium facitis?
ibi ubi tibi erat negotium, ad focum si adesses,
non fissile auferres caput: merito id tibi factum est. 440
A pretty question, you villainous rascal, with your making
a public highway of every nook and cranny in my whole house!
If you had stayed by the oven where your business lay, you
wouldn’t be carrying that cloven pate: it serves you right.
adeo ut tu meam sententiam iam noscere possis
si ad ianuam huc accesseris, nisi iussero, propius,
ego te faciam miserrimus mortalis uti sis.
scis iam meam sententiam.
(_with forced composure_) Now further, just to acquaint you
with my sentiments in the matter,--you come any nearer this
door without my permission, and I will make you the most
forlorn creature in God’s world. Now you know my sentiments.
[EXIT INTO HOUSE.
Cong.
Quo abis? redi rursum.
ita me bene amet Laverna, uti te iam, nisi reddi
mihi vasa iubes, pipulo te his differam ante aedis.
quid ego nunc agam? ne ego edepol veni huc auspicio malo.
nummo sum conductus: plus iam medico merce dest opus.
(_calling after him_) Where are you off to? Come back! So
help me holy Mother of Thieves, but I’ll soon make it warm
for you, the way I’ll rip up your reputation in front of the
house here, if you don’t have my dishes brought back! (_as
Euclio closes the door_) Now what? Oh, hell! It certainly
was an unlucky day when I came here! Two shillings for the
job, and now it’ll take more than that to pay the doctor’s
bill.
III. 3.
Scene 3.
RE-ENTER _Euclio_ FROM HOUSE WITH OBJECT UNDER HIS CLOAK.
Eucl.
Hoc quidem hercle, quoquo ibo, mecum erit, mecum feram,
neque isti id in tantis periclis umquam committam ut siet. 450
ite sane nunciam omnes, et coqui et tibicinae,
etiam intro duce, si vis, vel gregem venalium,
coquite, facite, festinate nunciam, quantum libet.
(_aside_) By heaven, wherever I go this goes (_peering
under cloak_) too: I won’t leave it there to run such risks,
never. (_to Congrio and others_) Very well, come now, in
with you, cooks, music girls, every one! (_to Congrio_) Go
on, take your under-strappers inside if you like, the whole
hireling herd of ’em. Cook away, work away, scurry around to
your hearts’ content now.
Cong.
Temperi, postquam implevisti fusti fissorum caput.
A nice time for it, after you’ve clubbed my head till it’s
all cracks!
Eucl.
Intro abite, opera huc conducta est vostra, non oratio.
In with you. You were engaged to get up a dinner here, not a
declamation.
Cong.
Heus, senex, pro vapulando hercle ego abs te mercedem petam.
coctum ego, non vapulatum, dudum conductus fui.
I say, old boy, I’ll come to you with my bill for that
basting, by the Lord I will. I was hired a while ago to be
cook, not to be thumped.
Eucl.
Lege agito mecum. molestus ne sis. i et cenam coque,
aut abi in malum cruciatum ab aedibus.
Well, go to law about it. Don’t bother me. Away with you:
get dinner, or else get to the devil out of here.
Cong.
Abi tu modo.
You just get to--(_mildly, as he pushes in past him_) one
side, then. [EXEUNT _Congrio_ AND HIS ASSOCIATES INTO HOUSE.
III. 4.
Scene 4.
Eucl.
Illic hinc abiit. di immortales, facinus audax incipit 460
qui cum opulento pauper homine coepit rem habere aut negotium.[7]
veluti Megadorus temptat me omnibus miserum modis,
qui simulavit mei honoris mittere huc causa coquos:
is ea causa misit, hoc qui surriperent misero mihi.
(_looking after them_) He’s disappeared. My Lord, my Lord!
It’s an awful chance a poor man takes when he begins to have
dealings or business with a wealthy man. Here’s Megadorus
now, trying to catch me--oh, dear, dear!--in all sorts of
ways. Sending cooks over here and pretending it’s because
of regard for me! Sent ’em to steal this (_looking under
cloak_) from a poor old man--that’s what his sending ’em
was because of!
condigne etiam meus med intus gallus gallinacius,
qui erat anu peculiaris, perdidit paenissume.
ubi erat haec defossa, occepit ibi scalpurrire ungulis
circum circa. quid opust verbis? ita mihi pectus peracuit:
capio fustem, obtrunco gallum, furem manufestarium.
And then of course that dunghill cock of mine in there, that
used to belong to the old woman, had to come within an inch
of ruining me, beginning to scratch and claw around where
this (_looking under cloak_) was buried. Enough said. It
just got me so worked up I took a club and annihilated that
cock, the thief, the redhanded thief!
credo edepol ego illi mercedem gallo pollicitos coquos, 470
si id palam fecisset. exemi ex manu[8] manubrium.[9] (471)
sed Megadorus meus affinis eccum incedit a foro. (473)
iam hunc non ausim praeterire, quin consistam et conloquar.
By heaven, I do believe the cooks offered that cock a reward
to show them where this (_looking under cloak_) was. I took
the handle (_looking under cloak_) out of their hands!
(_looking down street_) Ah, but there is son-in-law
Megadorus swaggering back from the forum. I suppose it
would hardly do for me to pass him without stopping for
a word or two, now.
III. 5.
Scene 5.
ENTER _Megadorus._
Mega.
Narravi amicis multis consilium meum
de condicione hac. Euclionis filiam
laudant. sapienter factum et consilio bono.
(_not seeing Euclio_) Well, I’ve told a number of friends of
my intentions regarding this match. They were full of praise
for Euclio’s daughter. Say it’s the sensible thing to do,
a fine idea.
nam meo quidem animo si idem faciant ceteri
opulentiores, pauperiorum filias
ut indotatas ducant uxores domum, 480
et multo fiat civitas concordior,
et invidia nos minore utamur quam utimur,
et illae malam rem metuant quam metuont magis,
et nos minore sumptu simus quam sumus.
Yes, for my part I’m convinced that if the rest of our
well-to-do citizens would follow my example and marry poor
men’s daughters and let the dowries go, there would be a
great deal more unity in our city, and people would be less
bitter against us men of means than they are, and our wives
would stand in greater awe of marital authority than they
do, and the cost of living would be lower for us than it is.
in maximam illuc populi partem est optimum;
in pauciores avidos altercatio est,
quorum animis avidis atque insatietatibus
neque lex neque sutor capere est qui possit modum.
namque hoc qui dicat “quo illae nubent divites
dotatae, si istud ius pauperibus ponitur?” 490
It’s just the thing for the vast majority of the people;
the fight comes with a handful of greedy fellows so stingy
and grasping that neither law nor cobbler can take their
measure. And now supposing some one should ask: “Who are
the rich girls with dowries going to marry, if you make this
rule for the poor ones?”
quo lubeant, nubant, dum dos ne fiat comes.
hoc si ita fiat, mores meliores sibi
parent, pro dote quos ferant, quam nunc ferunt,
ego faxim muli, pretio qui superant equos,
sint viliores Gallicis cantheriis.
Why, anyone they please, let ’em marry, provided their dowry
doesn’t go along with ’em. In that case, instead of bringing
their husbands money, they’d bring them better behaved wives
than they do at present. Those mules of theirs that cost
more than horses do now--they’d be cheaper than Gallic
geldings by the time I got through.
Eucl.
Ita me di amabunt ut ego hunc ausculto lubens.
nimis lepide fecit verba ad parsimoniam.
(_aside_) God bless my soul, how I do love to hear him
talk! Those thoughts of his about economizing--beautiful,
beautiful!
Mega.
Nulla igitur dicat “equidem dotem ad te adtuli
maiorem multo quam tibi erat pecunia;
enim mihi quidem aequomst purpuram atque aurum dari, 500
ancillas, mulos, muliones, pedisequos,
salutigerulos pueros, vehicla qui vehar.”
Then you wouldn’t hear them saying: “Well, sir, you never
had anything like the money I brought you, and you know it.
Fine clothes and jewellery, indeed! And maids and mules and
coachmen and footmen and pages and private carriages--well,
if I haven’t a right to them!”
Eucl.
Ut matronarum hic facta pernovit probe.
moribus praefectum mulierum hunc factum velim.
(_aside_) Ah, he knows ’em, knows ’em through and through,
these society dames! Oh, if he could only be appointed
supervisor of public morals--the women’s!
Mega.
Nunc quoquo venias plus plaustrorum in aedibus
videas quam ruri, quando ad villam veneris.
sed hoc etiam pulchrum est praequam ubi sumptus petunt.
Wherever you go nowadays you see more wagons in front of a
city mansion than you can find around a farmyard. That’s a
perfectly glorious sight, though, compared with the time
when the tradesmen come for their money.
stat fullo, phyrgio, aurifex, lanarius;
caupones patagiarii, indusiarii,
flammarii, volarii, carinarii; 510
stant manulearii, stant[10] murobatharii,
propolae linteones, calceolarii;
sedentarii sutores diabathrarii,
solearii astant, astant molocinarii;[11] (514)
strophiarii astant, astant semul sonarii. (516)
The cleanser, the ladies’ tailor, the jeweller, the woollen
worker--they’re all hanging round. And there are the dealers
in flounces and underclothes and bridal veils, in violet
dyes and yellow dyes, or muffs, or balsam scented foot-gear;
and then the lingerie people drop in on you, along with
shoemakers and squatting cobblers and slipper and sandal
merchants and dealers in mallow dyes; and the belt makers
flock around, and the girdle makers along with ’em.
iam hosce absolutes censeas: cedunt, petunt
treceni, cum stant thylacistae in atriis
textores limbularii, arcularii.
ducuntur, datur aes. iam absolutos censeas, 520
cum incedunt infectores corcotarii,
aut aliqua mala crux semper est, quae aliquid petat.
And now you may think you’ve got them all paid off. Then up
come weavers and lace men and cabinet-makers--hundreds of
’em--who plant themselves like jailers in your halls and
want you to settle up. You bring ’em in and square accounts.
“All paid off now, anyway,” you may be thinking, when in
march the fellows who do the saffron dyeing--some damned
pest or other, anyhow, eternally after something.
Eucl.
Compellarem ego illum, ni metuam ne desinat
memorare mores mulierum: nunc sic sinam.
(_aside_) I’d hail him, only I’m afraid he’d stop talking
about how the women go on. No, no, I’ll let him be.
Mega.
Ubi nugivendis res soluta est omnibus,
ibi ad postremum cedit miles, aes petit.
itur, putatur ratio cum argentario,
miles inpransus astat, aes censet dari.
ubi disputata est ratio cum argentario,
etiam ipsus ultro debet argentario. 530
spes prorogatur militi in alium diem.
When you’ve got all these fellows of fluff and ruffles
satisfied, along comes a military man, bringing up the rear,
and wants to collect the army tax. You go and have a
reckoning with your banker, your military gentleman standing
by and missing his lunch in the expectation of getting some
cash. After you and the banker have done figuring, you find
you owe him money too, and the military man has his hopes
postponed till another day.
haec sunt atque aliae multae in magnis dotibus.
incommoditates sumptusque intolerabiles
nam quae indotata est, ea in potestate est viri;
dotatae mactant et malo et damno viros
sed eccum adfinem ante aedes. quid agis, Euclio?
These are some of the nuisances and intolerable expenses
that big dowries let you in for, and there are plenty more.
Now a wife that doesn’t bring you a penny--a husband has
some control over her; it’s the dowered ones that pester
the life out of their husbands with the way they cut up and
squander. (_seeing Euclio_) But there’s my new relative in
front of the house! How are you, Euclio?
III. 6.
Scene 6.
Eucl.
Nimium lubenter edi sermonem tuom.
Gratified, highly gratified with your discourse--I devoured
it.
Mega.
An audivisti?
Eh? you heard?
Eucl.
Usque a principio omnia.
Every word of it.
Mega.
Tamen meo quidem animo aliquanto facias rectius,
si nitidior sis filiai nuptus. 540
(_looking him over_) But I say, though, I do think it would
be a little more in keeping, if you were to spruce up a bit
for your daughter’s wedding.
Eucl.
Pro re nitorem et gloriam pro copia
qui habent, meminerunt sese unde oriundi sient.
neque pol, Megadore, mihi neque quoiquam pauperi
opinione melius res structa est domi.
(_whining_) Folks with the wherewithal and means to let ’em
spruce up and look smart remember who they are. My goodness,
Megadorus! I haven’t got a fortune piled up at home (_peers
slyly under cloak_) any more than people think, and no other
poor man has, either.
Mega.
Immo est quod satis est, et di faciant ut siet
plus plusque et istuc sospitent quod nunc habes.
(_genially_) Ah well, you’ve got enough, and heaven make it
more and more, and bless you in what you have now.
Eucl.
Illud mihi verbum non placet “quod nunc habes.”
tam hoc scit me habere quam egomet. anus fecit palam.
(_turning away with a start_) “What you have now!” I don’t
like that phrase! He knows I have this money just as well as
I do! The old hag’s been blabbing!
Mega.
Quid tu te solus e senatu sevocas?
(_pleasantly_) Why that secret session over there?
Eucl.
Pol ego ut te accusem merito meditabar.
(_taken aback_) I was--damme sir,--I was framing the
complaint against you that you deserve.
Mega.
Quid est? 550
What for?
Eucl.
Quid sit me rogitas? qui mihi omnis angulos
furum implevisti in aedibus misero mihi,
qui mi intro misti in aedis quingentos coquos,
cum senis manibus, genere Geryonaceo;
What for, eh? When you’ve filled every corner of my house
with thieves, confound it! When you’ve sent cooks into my
house by the hundred and every one of ’em a Geryonian[C]
with six hands apiece!
quos si Argus servet qui oculeus totus fuit,
quem quondam Ioni Iuno custodem addidit,
is numquam servet. praeterea tibicinam,
quae mi interbibere sola, si vino scatat,
Corinthiensem fontem Pirenam potest.
tum obsonium autem--
Why, Argus, who had eyes all over him and was set to
guarding Io once by Juno, couldn’t ever keep watch on those
fellows, not if he tried. And that music girl besides! She
could take the fountain of Pirene at Corinth and drink it
dry, all by herself, she could,--if it ran wine. Then as
for the provisions--
[Footnote C: Geryon was a giant with three heads and
bodies.]
Mega.
Pol vel legioni sat est. 560
etiam agnum misi.
Bless my soul! Why, there’s enough for a regiment. I sent
you a lamb, too.
Eucl.
Quo quidem agno sat scio
magis curiosam[12] nusquam esse ullam beluam.
Yes, and a more shearable beast than that same lamb doesn’t
exist, I know that.
Mega.
Volo ego ex te scire qui sit agnus curio.
I wish you would tell me how the lamb is shearable.
Eucl.
Quia ossa ac pellis totust, ita cura macet.
quin exta inspicere in sole ei vivo licet:
ita is pellucet quasi lanterna Punica.
Because it’s mere skin and bones, wasted away till it’s
perfectly--(_tittering_) sheer. Why, why, you put that
lamb in the sun and you can watch its inwards work: it’s as
transparent as a Punic[D] lantern.
[Footnote D: Perhaps of glass, of which the Phoenicians
were reputedly the inventors.]
Mega.
Caedundum conduxi ego illum.
(_protestingly_) I got that lamb in myself to be slaughtered.
Eucl.
Tum tu idem optumumst
loces efferendum; nam iam, credo, mortuost.
(_dryly_) Then you’d best put it out yourself to be buried,
for I do believe it’s dead already.
Mega.
Potare ego hodie, Euclio, tecum volo.
(_laughing and clapping him on the shoulder_) Euclio, we
must have a little carouse to-day, you and I.
Eucl.
Non potem ego quidem hercle.
(_frightened_) None for me, sir, none for me! Carouse! Oh my
Lord!
Mega.
At ego iussero 570
cadum unum vini veteris a me adferrier.
But see here, I’ll just have a cask of good old wine brought
over from my cellars.
Eucl.
Nolo hercle, nam mihi bibere decretum est aquam.
No, no! I don’t care for any! The fact is I am resolved to
drink nothing but water.
Mega.
Ego te hodie reddam madidum, si vivo, probe,
tibi cui decretum est bibere aquam.
(_digging him in the ribs_) I’ll get you properly soaked
to-day, on my life I will, you with your “resolved to drink
nothing but water.”
Eucl.
Scio quam rem agat:
ut me deponat vino, eam adfectat viam,
post hoc quod habeo ut commutet coloniam.
ego id cavebo, nam alicubi abstrudam foris.
ego faxo et operam et vinum perdiderit simul.
(_aside_) I see his game! Trying to fuddle me with his wine,
that’s it, and then give this (_looking under cloak_) a new
domicile! (_pauses_) I’ll take measures against that: yes.
I’ll secrete it somewhere outside the house. I’ll make him
throw away his time and wine together.
Mega.
Ego, nisi quid me vis, eo lavatum, ut sacruficem.
(_turning to go_) Well, unless I can do something for you,
I’ll go take a bath and get ready to offer sacrifice.
[EXIT INTO HOUSE.
Eucl.
Edepol, ne tu, aula, multos inimicos habes 580
atque istuc aurum quod tibi concreditum est.
nunc hoc mihi factu est optumum, ut ted auferam,
aula, in Fidei fanum: ibi abstrudam probe.
Fides, novisti me et ego te: cave sis tibi,
ne in me mutassis nomen, si hoc concreduo.
ibo ad te fretus tua, Fides, fiducia.
(_paternally to object under cloak_) God bless us both, pot,
you do have enemies, ah yes, many enemies, you and the gold
entrusted to you! As matters stand, pot, the best thing I
can do for you is to carry you off to the shrine of Faith:
I’ll hide you away there, just as cosy! You know me, Faith,
and I know you: don’t change your name, mind, if I trust
this to you. Yes, I’ll go to you, Faith, relying on your
faithfulness. [EXIT _Euclio_.
ACTVS IV
ACT IV
ENTER _Strobilus._
Strob.
Hoc est servi facinus frugi, facere quod ego persequor,
ne morae molestiaeque imperium erile habeat sibi.
nam qui ero ex sententia servire servos postulat,
in erum matura, in se sera condecet capessere. 590
sin dormitet, ita dormitet, servom sese ut cogitet.[13] (591)
(_self-complacently_) This is the way for a good servant
to act, the way I do: no thinking master’s orders are a
botheration and nuisance. I tell you what, if a servant
wants to give satisfaction, he’d just better make it a case
of master first and man second. Even if he should fall
asleep, he ought to do it with an eye on the fact that he’s
a servant.
erile[14] imperium ediscat, ut quod frons velit oculi sciant; (599)
quod iubeat citis quadrigis citius properet persequi. 600
qui ea curabit, abstinebit censione bubula,
nec sua opera rediget umquam in splendorem compedes.
He’s got to know his master’s inclinations like a book, so
that he can read his wishes in his face. And as for orders,
he must push ’em through faster than a fast four-in-hand. If
a chap minds all this, he won’t be paying taxes on rawhide,
or ever spend his time polishing a ball and chain with his
ankles.
nunc erus meus amat filiam huius Euclionis pauperis;
eam ero nunc renuntiatum est nuptum huic Megadoro dari.
is speculatum huc misit me, ut quae fierent fieret particeps.
nunc sine omni suspicione in ara hic adsidam sacra;
hinc ego et huc et illuc potero quid agant arbitrarier.
Now the fact is, master’s in love with the daughter of poor
old Euclio here; and he’s just got word she’s going to be
married to Megadorus there. So he’s sent me over to keep
my eyes peeled and report on operations. I’ll just settle
down alongside this sacred altar (_does so_) and no one’ll
suspect me. I can inspect proceedings at both houses from
here.
IV. 2.
Scene 2.
ENTER _Euclio_ WITHOUT SEEING _Strobilus._
Eucl.
Tu modo cave quoiquam indicassis aurum meum esse istic, Fides:
non metuo ne quisquam inveniat, ita probe in latebris situmst.
edepol ne illic pulchram praedam agat, si quis illam invenerit 610
aulam onustam auri; verum id te quaeso ut prohibessis, Fides.
(_plaintively_) Only be sure you don’t let anyone know
my gold is there. Faith: no fear of anyone finding it, not
after the lovely way I tucked it in that dark nook,
(_pauses_) Oh my God, what a beautiful haul he would get,
if anyone should find it--a pot just crammed with gold! For
mercy’s sake, though, Faith, don’t let him!
nunc lavabo, ut rem divinam faciam, ne affinem morer
quin ubi accersat meam extemplo filiam ducat domum.
vide, Fides, etiam atque etiam nunc, salvam ut aulam abs te auferam:
tuae fide concredidi aurum, in tuo loco et fano est situm.
(_walks slowly toward house_) Now I’ll have a bath, so that
I may sacrifice and not hinder my prospective son-in-law
from marrying my girl the moment he claims her. (_looking
down street toward temple_) Take care now, Faith, do, do, do
take care I get my pot back from you safe. I’ve trusted my
gold to your good faith, laid it away in your grove and
shrine. [EXIT _Euclio_ INTO HOUSE.
Strob.
Di immortales, quod ego hunc hominem facinus audivi loqui:
se aulam onustam auri abstrusisse hic intus in fano Fide.
cave tu illi fidelis, quaeso, potius fueris, quam mihi.
atque hic pater est, ut ego opinor, huius erus quam amat, virginis.
(_jumping up_) Ye immortal gods! What’s all this I heard the
fellow tell of! A pot just crammed with gold hidden in the
shrine of Faith here! For the love of heaven, Faith, don’t
be more faithful to him than to me. Yes, and he’s the father
of the girl that is master’s sweetheart, or I’m mistaken.
ibo hinc intro, perscrutabor fanum, si inveniam uspiam 620
aurum, dum his est occupatus. sed si repperero, o Fides,
mulsi congialem plenam faciam tibi fideliam.
id adeo tibi faciam; verum ego mihi bibam, ubi id fecero.
I’m going in there: I’ll search that shrine from top to
bottom and see if I can’t find the gold somewhere while he’s
busy here. But if I come across it--oh, Faith, I’ll pour you
out a five pint pot of wine and honey! There now! that’s
what I’ll do for you; and when I’ve done that for you, why,
I’ll drink it up for myself. [EXIT TO TEMPLE AT A RUN.
IV. 3.
Scene 3.
RE-ENTER _Euclio_ FROM HOUSE.
Eucl.
Non temere est quod corvos cantat mihi nunc ab laeva manu;
semul radebat pedibus terram et voce croccibat sua:
continuo meum cor coepit artem facere ludicram
atque in pectus emicare. sed ego cesso currere?
(_excitedly_) It means something--that raven cawing on
my left just now! And all the time a-clawing the ground,
croaking away, croaking away! The minute I heard him my
heart began to dance a jig and jumped up into my throat.
But I must run, run! [EXIT TO TEMPLE.
IV. 4.
Scene 4.
A FEW MOMENTS ELAPSE. THEN THE SOUND OF A SCUFFLE DOWN THE
STREET. RE-ENTER _Euclio_ DRAGGING _Strobilus._
Eucl.
I foras, lumbrice, qui sub terra erepsisti modo,
qui modo nusquam comparebas, nunc, cum compares, peris,
ego pol te, praestrigiator, miseris iam accipiam modis. 630
Come! out, you worm! crawling up from under-ground just now!
A minute ago you weren’t to be found anywhere, and
(_grimly_) now you’re found you’re finished! Oh-h-h-h,
you felon! I’m going to give it to you, this very instant!
(_beats him_)
Strob.
Quae te mala crux agitat? quid tibi mecum est commerci, senex?
quid me adflictas? quid me raptas? qua me causa verberas?
What the devil’s got into you? What business have you got
with me, old fellow? What are you pounding me for? What are
you jerking me along for? What do you mean by battering me?
Eucl.
Verberabilissime, etiam rogitas, non fur, sed trifur?
(_still pummelling him_) Mean, eh? You batterissimo. You’re
not a thief: you’re three thieves.
Strob.
Quid tibi surrupui?
What did I steal from you?
Eucl.
Redde huc sis.
(_threateningly_) You kindly give it back.
Strob.
Quid tibi vis reddam?
Back? What back?
Eucl.
Rogas?
A nice question!
Strob.
Nil equidem tibi abstuli.
I didn’t take a thing from you, honestly.
Eucl.
At illud quod tibi abstuleras cedo.
ecquid agis?
Well, what you took dishonestly, then! Hand it over! Come,
come, will you!
Strob.
Quid agam?
Come, come, what?
Eucl.
Auferre non potes.
You shan’t get away with it.
Strob.
Quid vis tibi?
What is it you want?
Eucl.
Pone.
Down with it!
Strob.
Id quidem pol te datare credo consuetum, senex.
Down with it, eh! Looks as if you’d downed too much of it
yourself already, old boy.
Eucl.
Pone hoc sis, aufer cavillam, non ego nunc nugas ago.
Down with it, I tell you! None of your repartee! I’m not in
the humour for trifling now.
Strob.
Quid ego ponam? quin tu eloquere quidquid est suo nomine.
non hercle equidem quicquam sumpsi nec tetigi.
Down with what? Come along, speak out and give it its name,
whatever it is. Hang it all, I never took a thing nor
touched a thing, and that’s flat.
Eucl.
Ostende huc manus. 640
Show me your hands.
Strob.
Em tibi, ostendi, eccas.
(_stretching them out_) All right--there they are: have a
look.
Eucl.
Video. age ostende etiam tertiam.
(_dryly_) I see. Come now, the third one: out with it.
Strob.
Laruae hunc atque intemperiae insaniaeque agitant senem
facisne iniuriam mihi?
(_aside_) He’s got ’em! The old chap’s mad, stark, staring
mad! (_to Euclio, virtuously_) Now aren’t you doing me an
injury?
Eucl.
Fateor, quia non pendes, maximam
atque id quoque iam fiet, nisi fatere.
I am, a hideous injury--in not hanging you. And I’ll soon do
that, too, if you don’t confess.
Strob.
Quid fatear tibi?
Confess what?
Eucl.
Quid abstulisti hinc?
What did you carry off from here? (_pointing toward temple_)
Strob.
Di me perdant, si ego tui quicquam abstuli
nive adeo abstulisse vellem.
(_solemnly_) May I be damned, if I carried off a thing
of yours. (_aside_) Likewise if I didn’t want to.
Eucl.
Agedum, excutedum pallium.
Come on, shake out your cloak.
Strob.
Tuo arbitratu.
(_doing so_) Anything you say.
Eucl.
Ne inter tunicas habeas.
Um! probably under your tunic.
Strob.
Tempta qua lubet.
(_cheerfully_) Feel anywhere you please.
Eucl.
Vah, scelestus quam benigne: ut ne abstulisse intellegam.
novi sycophantias. age rusum ostende huc manum
dexteram.
Ugh! you rascal! How obliging you are! That I may think you
didn’t take it! I’m up to your dodges. (_searches him_) Once
more now--out with your hand, the right one.
Strob.
Em.
(_obeying_) There you are.
Eucl.
Nunc laevam ostende.
Now the left one.
Strob.
Quin equidem ambas profero. 650
(_obeying_) Why, certainly: here’s the both of ’em.
Eucl.
Iam scrutari mitto. redde huc.
Enough of this searching. Now give it here.
Strob.
Quid reddam?
What?
Eucl.
A, nugas agis,
certe habes.
Oh-h! Bosh! You must have it!
Strob.
Habeo ego? quid habeo?
I have it? Have what?
Eucl.
Non dico, audire expetis.
id meum, quidquid habes, redde.
I won’t say: you’re too anxious to know. Anything of mine
you’ve got, hand it over.
Strob.
Insanis: perscrutatus es
tuo arbitratu, neque tui me quicquam invenisti penes.
Crazy! You went all through me as much as you liked without
finding a solitary thing of yours on me.
Eucl.
Mane, mane. quis illic est? quis hic intus alter erat tecum simul?
perii hercle: ille nunc intus turbat, hunc si amitto hic abierit.
postremo hunc iam perscrutavi, his nihil habet. abi quo lubet.
(_excitedly_) Wait, wait! (_turns toward temple and
listens_) Who’s in there? Who was that other fellow in
there along with you? (_aside_) My Lord! this is awful,
awful! There’s another one at work in there all this time.
And if I let go of this one, he’ll skip off. (_pauses_)
But then I’ve searched him already: he hasn’t anything.
(_aloud_) Off with you, anywhere! (_releases him with a
final cuff_)
Strob.
Iuppiter te dique perdant.
(_from a safe distance_) You be everlastingly damned!
Eucl.
Haud male egit gratias.
ibo intro atque illi socienno tuo iam interstringam gulam.
fugin hinc ab oculis? abin an non.
(_aside, dryly_) Nice way he has of showing his gratitude.
(_aloud, sternly_) I’ll go in there, and that accomplice of
yours--I’ll strangle him on the spot. Are you going to
vanish? Are you going to get out, or not? (_advances_)
Strob.
Abeo.
(_retreating_) I am, I am!
Eud.
Cave sis[15] te videam. 660
And kindly see I don’t set eyes on you again.
[EXIT _Euclio_ TOWARD TEMPLE.
IV. 5.
Scene 5.
Strob.
Emortuom ego me mavelim leto malo
quam non ego illi dem hodie insidias seni.
nam hic iam non audebit aurum abstrudere:
credo ecferet iam secum et mutabit locum.
attat, foris crepuit. senex eccum aurum ecfert foras.
tantisper huc ego ad ianuam concessero.
I’d sooner be tortured to death than not give that old
fellow a surprise to-day. (_reflecting_) Well, after this
he won’t dare hide his gold here. What he’ll most likely
do is bring it out with him and put it somewhere else.
(_listening_) Hm-m-m! There goes the door! Aha! the old
boy’s coming out with it. I’ll just back up by the doorway
for a while. (_hides by Megadorus’s house_)
IV. 6.
Scene 6
RE-ENTER _Euclio_ WITH POT.
Eucl.
Fide censebam maxumam multo fidem
esse, ea sublevit os mihi paenissume:
ni subvenisset corvos, periissem miser.
nimis hercle ego illum corvom ad me veniat velim. 670
qui indicium fecit, ut ego illi aliquid boni
dicam; nam quod edit tam duim quam perduim.
I used to fancy Faith, of all deities, was absolutely
faithful, and here she’s just missed making a downright ass
of me. If that raven hadn’t stood by me, I’d be a poor, poor
ruined man. By heavens, I’d just like that raven to come and
see me, the one that warned me, I certainly should, so that
I might pay him a handsome--compliment. As for tossing him a
bite to eat, why, that would amount to throwing it away.
nunc hoc ubi abstrudam cogito solum locum.
Silvani lucus extra murum est avius,
crebro salicto oppletus. ibi sumam locum.
certumst, Silvano potius credam quam Fide.
(_meditating_) Let me think now, where is some lonely spot
to hide this in? (_after a moment_) There’s that grove of
Silvanus outside the wall, solitary, willow thickets all
around. There’s where I’ll pick my place. I’d sooner trust
Silvanus than Faith, and that’s settled. [EXIT _Euclio_.
Strob.
Euge, euge, di me salvom et servatum volunt.
iam ego illuc praecurram atque inscendam aliquam in arborem
indeque observabo, aurum ubi abstrudat senex.
quamquam hic manere me erus sese iusserat; 680
certum est, malam rem potius quaeram cum lucro.
Good! Good! The gods are with me. I’m a made man! Now I’ll
run on ahead and climb some tree there so as to sight the
place where the old fellow hides it. What if master did
tell me to wait here! I’d sooner look for a thrashing along
with the cash, and that’s settled. [EXIT _Strobilus_.
IV. 7.
Scene 7.
ENTER _Lyconides_ AND _Eunomia_.
Lyc.
Dixi tibi, mater, iuxta rem mecum tenes.
super Euchoms filia. nunc te obsecro
resecroque, mater, quod dudum obsecraveram:
fac mentionem cum avonculo, mater mea.
That’s the whole story, mother: you see how it is with me
and Euclio’s daughter as well as I do. And now, mother,
I beg you, beg you again and again, as I did before: do
tell my uncle about it, mother dear.
Eun.
Scis tute facta velle me quae tu velis,
et istuc confido a fratre me impetrassere;
et causa iusta est, siquidem ita est ut praedicas,
te eam compressisse vinulentum virginem.
Your wishes are mine, dear; you know that yourself: and I
feel sure your uncle will not refuse me. It’s a perfectly
reasonable request, too, if it’s all as you say and you
actually did get intoxicated and treat the poor girl so.
Lyc.
Egone ut te advorsum mentiar, mater mea? 690
Is it like me to look you in the face and lie, my dear
mother?
Phaed.
Perii, mea nutrix. obsecro te, uterum dolet.
Iuno Lucina, tuam fidem!
(_within Euclio’s house_) Oh--oh! Nurse! Nurse dear! Oh, God
help me! The pain!
Lyc.
Em, mater mea,
tibi rem potiorem verbo: clamat, parturit.
There, mother! There’s better proof than words gives. Her
cries! The child!
Eun.
Ei hac intro mecum, gnate mi, ad fratrem meum,
ut istuc quod me oras impetratum ab eo auferam.
(_agitated_) Come, darling, come in to your uncle with me,
so that I may persuade him to let it be as you urge.
Lyc.
I, iam sequar te, mater. sed servom meum
Strobilum miror ubi sit, quem ego me iusseram
hic opperiri. nunc ego mecum cogito:
si mihi dat operam, me illi irasci iniurium est.
ibo intro, ubi de capite meo sunt comitia. 700
You go, mother: I’ll follow you in a moment.
[EXIT _Eunomia_ INTO _Megadorus’s_ HOUSE.
I wonder (_looking around_) where that fellow Strobilus of
mine is that I told to wait for me here. (_pauses_) Well,
on thinking it over, if he’s doing something for me, it’s
all wrong my finding fault with him. (_turning toward
Megadorus’s door_) Now for the session that decides my fate.
[EXIT.
IV. 8.
Scene 8.
ENTER _Strobilus_ WITH POT.
Strob.
Picis divitiis, qui aureos montes colunt,
ego solus supero. nam istos reges ceteros
memorare nolo, hominum mendicabula:
ego sum ille rex Philippus. o lepidum diem,
nam ut dudum hinc abii, multo illo adveni prior
multoque prius me conlocavi in arborem
indeque spectabam aurum ubi abstrudebat senex.
(_elated_) Woodpeckers that haunt the Hills of Gold, eh!
I can buy ’em up my own single self. As for the rest of your
big kings--not worth mentioning, poor beggarlets! I am the
great King Philip. Oh, this is a grand day! Why, after I
left here a while ago I got there long before him and was
up in a tree long before he came: and from there I spotted
where the old chap hid the stuff.
ubi ille abiit, ego me dorsum duco de arbore,
exfodio aulam auri plenam. inde ex eo loco
video recipere se senem; ille me non videt, 710
nam ego declinavi paululum me extra viam.
attat, eccum ipsum. ibo ut hoc condam domum.
After he’d gone I scrabbled down, dug up the pot full of
gold! Then I saw him coming back from the place; he didn’t
see me, though. I slipped off a bit to one side of the road
(_looking down street_) Aha! there he comes! I’ll home and
tuck this out of sight. [EXIT _Strobilus_.
IV. 9.
Scene 9.
ENTER _Euclio_ FRANTIC.
Eucl.
Perii interii occidi. quo curram? quo non curram? tene, tene.
quem? quis?
nescio, nil video, caecus eo atque equidem quo eam aut ubi sim
aut qui sim
nequeo cum animo certum investigare. obsecro vos ego, mi auxilio,
oro obtestor, sitis et hominem demonstretis, quis eam abstulerit.
(_running wildly back and forth_) I’m ruined, I’m killed,
I’m murdered! Where shall I run? Where shan’t I run? Stop
thief! Stop thief! What thief? Who? I don’t know! I can’t
see! I’m all in the dark! Yes, yes, and where I’m going, or
where I am, or who I am--oh, I can’t tell, I can’t think!
(_to audience_) Help, help, for heaven’s sake, I beg you,
I implore you! Show the man that took it.
quid est? quid ridetis? novi omnes, scio fures esse hic complures,
qui vestitu et creta occultant sese atque sedent quasi sint frugi.
quid ais tu? tibi credere certum est, nam esse bonum ex voltu
cognosco.
hem, nemo habet horum? occidisti.
dic igitur, quis habet? nescis? 720
Eh, what’s that? What are you grinning for? I know you, the
whole lot of you! I know there are thieves here, plenty of
’em, that cover themselves up in dapper clothes and sit
still as if they were honest men. (_to a spectator_) You,
sir, what do you say? I’ll trust you, I will, I will. Yes,
you’re a worthy gentleman, I can tell it from your face.
Ha! none of them has it? Oh, you’ve killed me! Tell me,
who has got it, then? You don’t know?
heu me miserum, misere perii,
male perditus, pessime ornatus eo:
tantum gemiti et mali maestitiaeque
hic dies mi optulit, famem et pauperiem.
Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear! I’m a ruined man! I’m lost, lost!
Oh, what a plight! Oh, such a cruel, disastrous, dismal day--
it’s made a starveling of me, a pauper!
perditissimus ego sum omnium in terra;
nam quid mi opust vita, qui tantum auri
perdidi, quod concustodivi
sedulo? egomet me defraudavi
animumque meum geniumque meum;
nunc eo alii laetificantur
meo malo et damno. pati nequeo.
I’m the forlornest wretch on earth! Ah, what is there in
life for me when I’ve lost all that gold I guarded, oh, so
carefully! I’ve denied myself, denied my own self comforts
and pleasures; yes, and now others are making merry over my
misery and loss! Oh, it’s unendurable!
ENTER _Lyconides_ FROM HOUSE OF _Megadorus_.
Lyc.
Quinam homo hic ante aedis nostras eiulans conqueritur maerens?
atque hic quidem Euclio est, ut opinor.
oppido ego interii: palamst res,
scit peperisse iam, ut ego opinor, filiam suam. nunc mi incertumst
abeam an maneam, an adeam an fugiam quid agam edepol nescio. 730
Who in the world is raising all this howling, groaning
hullabaloo before our house here? (_looking round_) Upon my
word, it’s Euclio, I do believe. (_drawing back_) My time
has certainly come: it’s all out. He’s just learned about
his daughter’s child, I suppose. Now I can’t decide whether
to leave or stay, advance or retreat. By Jove, I don’t know
what to do!
IV. 10
Scene 10.
Eucl.
Quis homo hic loquitur?
(_hearing sound of voice only_) Who’s that talking here?
Lyc.
Ego sum miser.
(_stepping forward_) I’m the poor wretch, sir.
Eucl.
Immo ego sum, et misere perditus,
cui tanta mala maestitudoque optigit.
No, no, I’m the poor wretch, a poor ruined wretch, with all
this trouble and tribulation.
Lyc.
Animo bono es.
Keep your courage up, sir.
Eucl.
Quo, obsecro, pacto esse possum?
For heaven’s sake how can I?
Lyc.
Quia istuc facinus, quod tuom
sollicitat animum, id ego feci et fateor.
Well, sir, that outrage that distresses you--(_hesitantly_)
I’m to blame, and I confess it, sir.
Eucl.
Quid ego ex te audio?
Hey? What’s that?
Lyc.
Id quod verumst.
The truth.
Eucl.
Quid ego de te commerui, adulescens, mali.
quam ob rem ita faceres meque meosque perditum ires liberos?
How have I ever harmed you, young man, for you to act like
this and try to ruin me and my children?
Lyc.
Deus impulsor mihi fuit, is me ad illam inlexit.
It was some demon got hold of me, sir, and led me on.
Eucl.
Quo modo?
How is this?
Lyc.
Fateor peccavisse et me culpam commeritum scio;
id adeo te oratum advenio ut animo aequo ignoscas mihi.
I admit I’ve done wrong, sir; I deserve your reproaches,
and I know it; more than that, I’ve come to beg you to be
patient and forgive me.
Eucl.
Cur id ausu’s facere, ut id quod non tuom esset tangeres? 740
How did you dare do it, dare touch what didn’t belong to you?
Lyc.
Quid vis fieri? factum est illud: fieri infectum non potest.
deos credo voluisse; nam ni vellent, nori fieret, scio.
(_penitently_) Well, well, sir,--it’s done, and it can’t
be undone. I think it must have been fated; otherwise it
wouldn’t have happened, I’m sure of that.
Eucl.
At ego deos credo voluisse ut apud me te in nervo enicem.
Yes, and I think it must have been fated that I’m to shackle
you at my house and murder you!
Lyc.
Ne istuc dixis.
Don’t say that, sir.
Eucl.
Quid tibi ergo meam me invito tactiost?
Then why did you lay hands on what was mine, without my
permission?
Lyc.
Quia vini vitio atque amoris feci.
It was all because of drink ... and ... love, sir.
Eucl.
Homo audacissime,
cum istacin te oratione huc ad me adire ausum, impudens!
nam si istuc ius est ut tu istuc excusare possies,
luci claro deripiamus aurum matronis palam,
post id si prehensi simus, excusemus ebrios
nos fecisse amoris causa. nimis vilest vinum atque amor, 750
si ebrio atque amanti impune facere quod lubeat licet.
The colossal impudence of it! To dare to come to me with a
tale like that, you shameless rascal! Why, if it’s legal to
clear yourself that way, we should be stripping ladies of
their jewellery on the public highways in broad daylight!
And then when we were caught we’d excuse ourselves on the
score that we were drunk, and did it out of love. Drink and
love are altogether too cheap, if your drunken lover can do
what he likes and not suffer for it.
Lyc.
Quin tibi ultro supplicatum venio obstultitiam meam.
Yes, but I’ve come of my own accord sir, to entreat you to
pardon my madness.
Eucl.
Non mi homines placent qui quando male fecerunt purigant.
tu illam scibas non tuam esse. non attactam oportuit.
I have no patience with men who do wrong and then try to
explain it away. You knew you had no right to act so: you
should have kept hands off.
Lyc.
Ergo quia sum tangere ausus, haud causificor quin eam
ego habeam potissimum.
Well, now that I did venture to act so, I have no objection
to holding to it, sir,--I ask nothing better.
Eucl
Tun habeas me invito meam?
(_more angry_) Hold to it? Against my will?
Lyc.
Haud te invito postulo, sed meam esse oportere arbitror.
quin tu iam invenies, inquam, meam illam esse oportere, Euclio.
I won’t insist on it against your will, sir, but I do think
my claim is just. Why, you’ll soon come to realize the
justice of it yourself, sir, I assure you.
Eucl.
Iam quidem hercle te ad praetorem rapiam et tibi scribam dicam,
nisi refers.
I’ll march you off to court and sue you, by heaven I will,
this minute, unless you bring it back.
Lyc.
Quid tibi ego referam?
I? Bring what back?
Eucl.
Quod surripuisti meum. 760
What you stole from me.
Lyc.
Surripui ego tuom? unde? aut quid id est?
I stole something of yours? Where from? What?
Eucl.
Ita te amabit Iuppiter
ut tu nescis.
(_ironically_) God bless your innocence--you don’t know!
Lyc.
Nisi quidem tu mihi quid quaeras dixeris.
Not unless you say what you’re looking for.
Eucl.
Aulam auri, inquam, te resposco, quam tu confessu’s mihi
te abstulisse.
The pot of gold, I tell you; I want back the pot of gold you
owned up to taking.
Lyc.
Neque edepol ego dixi neque feci.
Great heavens, man! I never said that or did it, either.
Eucl.
Negas?
You deny it?
Lyc.
Pernego immo. nam neque ego aurum neque istaec aula quae siet
scio nec novi.
Deny it? Absolutely. Why, I don’t know, haven’t any idea,
about your gold, or what that pot is.
Eucl.
Illam, ex Silvani luco quam abstuleras, cedo.
i, refer. dimidiam tecum potius partem dividam.
tam etsi fur mihi es, molestus non ero. i vero, refer.
The one you took from the grove of Silvanus--give it me. Go,
bring it back. (_pleadingly_) You can have half of it, yes,
yes, I’ll divide. Even though you are such a thief, I won’t
make any trouble for you. Do, do go and bring it back, oh do!
Lyc.
Sanus tu non es qui furem me voces. ego te, Euclio,
de alia re rescivisse censui, quod ad me attinet; 770
[16]magna est res quam ego tecum otiose, si otium est, cupio loqui.
Man alive, you’re out of your senses, calling me a thief.
I supposed you had found out about something else that does
concern me, Euclio. There’s an important matter I’m anxious
to talk over quietly with you, sir, if you’re at leisure.
Eucl.
Dic bona fide: tu id aurum non surripuisti?
Give me your word of honour: you didn’t steal that gold?
Lyc.
Bona.
(_shaking his head_) On my honour.
Eucl.
Neque eum scis qui abstulerit?
And you don’t know the man that did take it?
Lyc.
Istuc quoque bona.
Nor that, either, on my honour.
Eucl.
Atque id si scies
qui abstulerit, mihi indicabis?
And if you learn who took it, you’ll inform me?
Lyc.
Faciam.
I will.
Eucl.
Neque partem tibi
ab eo qui habet indipisces neque furem excipies?
And you won’t go shares with the man that has it, or shield
the thief?
Lyc.
Ita.
No.
Eucl.
Quid si fallis?
What if you deceive me?
Lyc.
Tum me faciat quod volt magnus Iuppiter.
Then, sir, may I be dealt with as great God sees fit.
Eucl.
Sat habeo. age nunc loquere quid vis.
That will suffice. All right now, say what you want.
Lyc.
Si me novisti minus,
genere quo sim gnatus: hic mihi est Megadorus avonculus,
meus pater fuit Antimachus, ego vocor Lyconides.
mater est Eunomia.
In case you’re not acquainted with my family connections,
sir,--Megadorus here is my uncle: my father was Antimachus,
and my own name is Lyconides: Eunomia is my mother.
Eucl.
Novi genus. nunc quid vis? id volo 780
noscere.
I know who you are. Now what do you want? That’s what I wish
to know.
Lyc.
Filiam ex te tu habes.
You have a daughter.
Eucl.
Immo eccillam domi.
Yes, yes, at home there!
Lyc.
Eam tu despondisti, opinor, meo avonculo?
You have betrothed her to my uncle, I understand.
Eucl.
Omnem rem tenes.
Precisely, precisely.
Lyc.
Is me nunc renuntiare repudium iussit tibi.
He has asked me to inform you now that he breaks the
engagement.
Eucl.
Repudium rebus paratis, exornatis nuptiis?
ut illum di immortales omnes deaeque quantum est perduint,
quem propter hodie auri tantum perdidi infelix, miser.
(_furious_) Breaks the engagement, with everything ready,
the wedding prepared for? May all the everlasting powers
above consume that villain that’s to blame for my losing my
gold, all that gold, poor God forsaken creature that I am!
Lyc.
Bono animo es, bene dice. nunc quae res tibi et gnatae tuae
bene feliciterque vortat--ita di faxint, inquito.
Brace up, sir: don’t curse. And now for some thing that I
pray will turn out well and happily for yourself and your
daughter--“God grant it may!” Say that.
Eucl.
Ita di faciant.
(_doubtfully_) God grant it may!
Lyc.
Et mihi ita di faciant. audi nunciam.
qui homo culpam admisit in se, nullust tam parvi preti, 790
quom pudeat, quin purget sese. nunc te obtestor, Euclio,
ut si quid ego erga te imprudens peccavi aut gnatam tuam,
ut mi ignoscas eamque uxorem mihi des, ut leges iubent.
ego me iniuriam fecisse filiae fateor tuae,
Cereris vigiliis, per vinum atque impulsu adulescentiae.
And God grant it may for me, too! Now listen, sir. There
isn’t a man alive so worthless but what he wants to clear
himself when he’s done wrong and is ashamed. Now, sir, if
I’ve injured you or your daughter without realizing what I
was doing, I implore you to forgive me and let me marry her
as I’m legally bound to. (_nervously_) It was the night of
Ceres’ festival ... and what with wine and ... a young
fellow’s natural impulses together ... I wronged her,
I confess it.
Eucl.
Ei mihi, quod ego facinus ex te audio?
Oh, oh, my God! What villainy am I hearing of?
Lyc.
Cur eiulas,
quem ego avom feci iam ut esses filiai nuptus?
nam tua gnata peperit, decumo mense post: numerum cape;
ea re repudium remisit avonculus causa mea.
i intro, exquaere, sitne ita ut ego praedico.
(_patting his shoulder_) Lamenting, sir, lamenting, when
you’re a grandfather, and this your daughter’s wedding day?
You see it’s the tenth month since the festival--reckon it
up--and we have a child, sir. This explains my uncle’s
breaking the engagement: he did it for my sake. Go in and
inquire if it isn’t just as I tell you.
Eucl.
Perii oppido, 800
ita mihi ad malum malae res plurimae se adglutinant.
ibo intro, ut quid huius verum sit sciam.
Oh, my life is wrecked, wrecked! The way calamities swarm
down and settle on me one after another! Go in I will, and
have the truth of it! [EXIT INTO HIS HOUSE.
Lyc.
Iam te sequor
haec propemodum iam esse in vado salutis res videtur
nunc servom esse ubi dicam meum Strobilum non reperio;
nisi etiam hic opperiar tamen paulisper, postea intro
hunc subsequar. nunc interim spatium ei dabo exquirendi
meum factum ex gnatae pedisequa nutrice anu. ea rem novit.
(_as he disappears_) I’ll soon be with you, sir. (_after
a pause, contentedly_) It does look as if we were pretty
nearly safe in the shallows now. (_looking around_) Where in
the world my fellow Strobilus is I can’t imagine. Well, the
only thing to do is to wait here a bit longer; then I’ll
join father-in-law inside. Meanwhile I’ll let him have an
opportunity to inquire into the case from the old nurse
that’s been his daughter’s maid: she knows about it all.
(_waits in doorway_)
ACTVS V
ACT V
ENTER _Strobilus._
Strob.
Di immortales quibus et quantis me donatis gaudiis.
quadrilibrem aulam auro onustam habeo. quis me est ditior?
quis me Athenis nunc magis quisquam est
homo cui di sint propitii? 810
Ye immortal gods, what joy, what bliss, ye bless me with!
I have a four pound pot of gold, chock full of gold! Show me
a man that’s richer! Who’s the chap in all Athens now that
Heaven’s kinder to than me?
Lyc.
Certo enim ego vocem hic loquentis modo mi audire visus sum.
Why, it surely seemed as if I heard some one’s voice just
then. (_catches a glimpse of Strobilus’s face, the latter
wheeling around as he sees Lyconides_)
Strob.
Hem,
erumne ego aspicio meum?
(_aside_) Hm! Is that master there?
Lyc.
Videon ego hunc servom meum?
(_aside_) My servant, is it?
Strob.
Ipsus est.
(_aside, after a quick glance_) It’s the governor.
Lyc.
Haud alius est.
(_aside_) Himself.
Strob.
Congrediar.
(_aside_) Here goes. (_moves toward Lyconides_)
Lyc.
Contollam gradum.
credo ego illum, ut iussi, eampse anum adiisse, huius nutricem
virginis.
(_aside_) I’ll go meet him. No doubt he’s followed
instructions and been to see that old woman I mentioned, my
girl’s nurse.
Strob.
Quin ego illi me invenisse dico hanc praedam[17]?
igitur orabo ut manu me emittat. ibo atque eloquar.
repperi--
(_aside_) Why not tell him I’ve found this prize? Then I’ll
beg him to set me free. I’ll up and let him have the whole
story. (_to Lyconides, as they meet_) I’ve found--
Lyc.
Quid repperisti?
(_scoffingly_) Found what?
Strob.
Non quod pueri clamitant
in faba se repperisse.
No such trifle as youngsters hurrah over finding in a
bean.[E]
[Footnote E: It is uncertain what they did find.]
Lyc.
Iamne autem, ut soles? deludis.
At your old tricks? You’re chaffing. (_pretends to be about
to leave_)
Strob.
Ere, mane, eloquar iam, ausculta.
Hold on, sir: I’ll tell you all about it this minute.
Listen.
Lyc.
Age ergo loquere.
Well, well, then, tell away.
Strob.
Repperi hodie, 820
ere, divitias nimias.
Sir, to-day I’ve found--boundless riches!
Lyc.
Ubinam?
(_interested_) You have? Where?
Strob.
Quadrilibrem, inquam, aulam auri plenam.
A four pound pot, sir, I tell you, a four pound pot just
full of gold!
Lyc.
Quod ego facinus audio ex te? Euclioni hic seni subripuit.
ubi id est aurum?
What’s all this you’ve done? He’s the man that robbed old
Euclio. Where is this gold?
Strob.
In arca apud me. nunc volo me emitti manu.
In a box at home. Now I want you to set me free.
Lyc.
Egone te emittam manu,
scelerum cumulatissime?
(_angrily_) I set you free, you, you great lump of iniquity?
Strob.
Abi, ere, scio quam rem geras.
lepide hercle animum tuom temptavi. iam ut eriperes apparabas:
quid faceres, si repperissem?
(_crestfallen, then laughing heartily_) Go along with you,
sir! I know what you’re after. Gad! that was clever of me,
testing you in that way! And you were just getting ready to
drop on it! Now what would you be doing, if I really had
found it?
Lyc.
Non potes probasse nugas.
i, redde aurum.
No, no, that won’t pass. Off with you: hand over the gold.
Strob.
Reddam ego aurum?
Hand over the gold? I?
Lyc.
Redde, inquam, ut huic reddatur.
Yes, hand it over, so that it may be handed over to Euclio.
Strob.
Unde?
Gold? Where from?
Lyc.
Quod modo fassu’s esse in arca.
The gold you just admitted was in the box.
Strob.
Soleo hercle ego garrire nugas. 830
Lyc.
[18]
Strob.
Ita loquor.
That’s what I say.
Lyc.
At scin quomodo?[19]
(_seizing him_) See here, do you know what you’ll get?
Strob.
Vel hercle enica,
numquam hinc feres a me.
By heaven, sir, you can even kill me, but you won’t have it
from me, never--
_The rest of the play is lost, save for a few fragments.
Apparently Lyconides, on returning the pot of gold, was
given permission to marry Euclio’s daughter; and Euclio,
having a change of heart, or influenced by his Household
God, gave it to the young couple as a wedding present._
FRAGMENTA
FRAGMENTS
pro illis corcotis, strophiis, sumptu uxorio I
Instead of those fine saffron dresses, girdles, trousseau
outlay
ut admemordit hominem II
How he fleeced the man
Eucl.
ego ecfodiebam in die denos scrobes. III
I used to be digging ten ditches a day.
Eucl.
nec noctu nec diu IV
quietus umquam servabam eam: nunc dormiam.
I never had a bit of rest day or night watching it: now I
shall sleep.
qui mi holera cruda ponunt, hallec adduint. V
People that serve me raw vegetables ought to add some sauce.
* * * * *
[Footnote 1: Leo brackets following v., 266:
_credo ego illum iam inaudivisse mi esse thensaurum domi._]
[Footnote 2: 299, 300 inverted, Gulielmius:
Leo, following Havet, assumes lacuna after 298.]
[Footnote 3: Leo notes lacuna here: _etiam tu_ Leo.]
[Footnote 4: Corrupt (Leo):
_stultu’s et sine gratiast ibi_ Gulielmius.]
[Footnote 5: Leo brackets following v., 393:
_nimirum occidor, nisi ego intro huc propere propero currere._]
[Footnote 6: _Attatae_ Lindsay: _optate_ MSS:
_cives_ V^2: _vires_ B: _vives_ D V^1.]
[Footnote 7: Corrupt (Leo): Goetz deletes _coepit_.]
[Footnote 8: Corrupt (Leo): _manupretium_ Leo for _manubrium_.]
[Footnote 9: Leo brackets following v., 472:
_quid opust verbis? acta est pugna in gallo gallinacio._]
[Footnote 10: Corrupt (Leo): _myrobaptarii_ Leo.]
[Footnote 11: Leo brackets following v., 515:
_petunt fullones, sorcinatores petunt._]
[Footnote 12: _curiosam_ MSS: _curionem_ Gulielmius,
followed by Leo and others.]
[Footnote 13: Leo brackets following v., 592-598:
_nam qui amanti ero servitutem servit, quasi ego servio,_
_si erum videt superare amorem, hoc servi est officium reor,_
_retinere ad salutem, non enim quo incumbat eo impellere._
_quasi pueri qui nare discunt scirpea induitur ratis, _ (595)
_qui laborent minus, facilius ut nent et moveant manus,_
_eodem modo servom ratem esse amanti ero aequom censeo,_
_ut eum toleret, ne pessum abeat tamquam--_]
[For when a slave’s slaving it like I am for a master who is
in love, if he sees his master’s heart is running away with
him, it’s the slave’s duty, in my opinion, to hold him in
and save him and not hurry him on the way he’s headed. It’s
like boys learning to swim: they lie on a rush float so as
not to have to work so hard and so as to swim more easily
and use their arms. In the same way I hold that a slave
ought to be his master’s float, if his master’s in love, so
as to support him and not let him go to the bottom like--]
[Footnote 14: Corrupt (Leo): _eri ille_ Wagner.]
[Footnote 15: Corrupt (Leo): _revideam_ Bothe.]
[Footnote 16: Corrupt (Leo): _res_ excised by Hare.]
[Footnote 17: _praedam atque eloquar_ MSS:
Leo brackets _atque eloquar_.]
[Footnote 18: Leo notes lacuna here.
_Non te habere dicis aurum_ Leo.]
[Footnote 19: Leo notes lacuna here.
_Verberibus caedere donec reddideris_ Leo.]
* * * * *
[Transcriber’s Corrections: Aulularia (The Pot of Gold)
Argument II
a rascally servant of the girl’s assailant
text reads the girls’ assailant ]
II. 1. l. 141
nec tibi advorsari certum est
text reads ned tibi
II. 3. l. 270
Eucl. Vascula intus...
Eucl. Hurry up with the dishes...
speaker not named (continues from previous scene)
III. 6. l. 537
Eucl. Nimium lubenter...
Eucl. Gratified, highly gratified...
Latin scene break adjusted to agree with English ]
* * * * *
* * * *
* * * * *